A/N Hi, this is my first time trying in that fandom so don't expect much, okay? There are no spoilers, seeing that this was written before Book 4 was released. I could either ramble about how I wrote this or I could leave you read and see if you like it. Rated M for character death(s?)
On The Asphalt Underneath, Our Crushed Plans
Hello, my love... or should I say goodbye? I'm sorry. So sorry for all those things I couldn't do, all the words I couldn't say. I believed we will be together forever but reality hit us both hard. And now you're lying on my bed, looking like everything is going to be all right but I know better. Nothing is fine... because you're no longer mine. Something took you away from me, something you couldn't resist.
I've been through a lot. Life had broken me and nothing was able to fix me. Neither the parties nor the numerous friends. Then, you came into my life and it's like you turned into the light that led me through the cold, dark night. I was so intoxicated that I forgot my only rule- never fall in love. And when I did remember it'd been too late. I'd been caught in that gentle web. But even then I couldn't care less. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter, that you were different, that as long as love shone in those warm blue eyes and those full soft lips were forming a smile everything would be all right.
I know you didn't leave me on purpose. It is your job... was... I'm still trying to get used to it. Somewhere deep inside I know I never will... I won't let myself. Getting accustomed to it means accepting and acceptance leads to forgetting. And I'll never forget you, my little nephilim. I've never intended to.
Do you remember the Book of White and how obsesed I was with it to the point I was ready to do anything to find it? You asked me what I needed it for- "To make me immortal?" Actually, that was the last thing you said to me. And the answer that I gave you, the one that you didn't hear completely was, "No... to make myself mortal." But before I'd finished you had already stormed out angry that you were just like the others I have dated and that I didn't want to spend my eternity with you. Always so insecure, my Shadowhunter. But it was true, I didn't want it because eternity loses its point when you have it all.
Now I blame myself for letting you go so upset... for not remembering. There was another spell that I used from the Book of White. It was wrong, what I did, and I was so ashamed that I didn't tell you. Sick of myself for doing it and also scared. So terribly terrified. Because, you see, this was a spell that could tell me when was someone supposed to die. And all it needed was a hair. Later on, I realized I had taken the hair from a brush that we both had used but I shrugged it off. I was immortal, the spell couldn't have been for me. And, God, how much I wished it was me and not you.
But now it doesn't matter. No matter whose hair I had used the answer would have been the same- today's date. For, my darling, it worked. The spell that promised us years of happiness together now can offer me the only thing that could save me now- death, something I accept with open arms.
So goodbye, my love... or should I say hello? Because I see you, waiting for me, as I drift into an endless dream. And I thank the higher power that had decided that I deserve to spend my afterlife with you. I run toward you and I wrap you in my arms, promising to you and myself that we will never separate.
A/N Cheesy, isn't it? Won't ask you to drop me a review but I won't forbid you, either. So if the desire to drop me a review is now burning your whole body and you can't stand it... the button bellow is your only salvation.
