Chapter 1: Waking Up
~Remus~
I open my eyes, taking in the hard black darkness. My throat is dry and the skin on my elbows shredded. Coughing twice violently, I sit up and immediately hit my head on the shallow ceiling. Frowning out of confusion, I reach my hand towards the roof and feel it's rough splinter. A little bit of material crumbles off in my hands, and raising it to my nose, I take a sniff. And just like that every gruesome detail comes flooding back at me. Gryffindor Common Room, late last night, whipping by as I sprinted out of it. The fat lady's outraged cry as her portrait slammed shut behind me. Running down the hallways and out through the secret entrance James, Sirius and I had found two years ago. And finally into the dismantled shack where my transformation completed and I lay twisted and raging until I slipped into a restless slumber. As my headache clears, my monthly mantra runs through my mind. My name is Remus Lupin. I am fifteen years old and I attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My best friends are James Potter and Sirius Black and I'm in Gryffindor house. And I am a werewolf.
A weak beam of sunlight begins to make it's way through the small tunnel entrance and I climb out, squirming through the small entrance and out into the pale blue sun, ready to fight through another day.
~Sirius~
As Remus walks into breakfast I inwardly cringe. His hair is mussed up, a long scratch tracing his cheek. Even though I can tell he's changed clothes, I can smell the earthy tone of dirt still on him and see a heartbreaking look of defeat in his light amber eyes. I keep my voice low as I quietly ask "Everything ok, Moony?" A quiet smile dances across his face at his nickname and he responds "As good as someone like me can be the night after the full moon." I nod, and the subject is forgotten as James launches into a complex description of his latest prank in the works.
We head to our first class of the day, History of Magic. Binns lures us into our usual stupor and I find myself staring out the window at a feather dancing in the wind. The doglike reflexes in me urges to transform and chase it, sprinting through the sunlight and into the lake. Drifting away in my fantasy I don't notice the other students standing up to leave until Remus nudges my arm.
"C'mon Padfoot, we're going to be late for Defense Against the Dark Arts."
"Urgh do we have to go?" I groan letting my head drop onto my arms.
"Yes. Come on, I'm not giving you my notes for this class if you skip." It was such a horrible attempt at being stern that I almost laugh.
"Yes you will."
"Fine. But you still have to go." I laugh as he drags me to class. James is a few steps ahead of us, talking to Lilly. I snicker as she flips her hair in his face and stalks away, James returning to us abashed and red-faced.
"Quit mooning over her, mate she'll never say yes," I say. James scowls dejectedly and retorts "Yeah, like you'd know. You haven't had a real relationship with a girl since Kylee and that lasted what, a week?"
I flush. I have quite a player's reputation at Hogwarts, but in all honestly, I've only ever been with two or three girls, all of which happened before I developed feelings for someone else. That was when I realized I just wasn't interested in girls, that I had daydreams about a different person- Remus. None of my friends knew I was gay, they just assumed I'd kept up my old habits, but was more secretive about it. Remus is my closest friend in the entire world. James and I are close too, but there are some things I could talk about and share with Remus that I just can't with James. My thoughts are cut abruptly short as we arrive at the classroom and I realize that I'd tuned out Remus' and James' conversation the entire way there. Shaking my head in disbelief I walk through the doorway with the other two and take my seat, already composing my perfected and totally faked expression of mild interest as I open my books and look to the front of the classroom.
~Remus~
Laughing as James and I fall back into our comfortable pattern of banter and jokes, I study Sirius' face. After James' comment about girls, he fell silent, his expression vacant as his thoughts wandered away. I feel a small frown of concern cross my face and quickly rearrange my expression. Sirius is my best friend, and whenever he gets quiet I can tell something's troubling him. I silently promise to ask him about it sometime later tonight when we're alone. Sirius has trouble talking about things that hurt him, and it's something he only does in utmost privacy. He hasn't had the easiest life, by a long shot. Parents that beat him and treat him with open content have made him guarded and distrustful, which I think partly contributes to his long strings of one-night stands. As we enter the open classroom, I see him sit down, take in his attentive expression and sigh to myself as I take out another sheet of paper to take notes for him.
~Sirius~
Remus passes me a long scroll of paper as we exit the class and I smile in thanks as I look down at row after row of painstakingly taken notes. He winks, a quick 'no problem' and we continue through the day.
"-and then," James continues on, later in the common room, " we slip the dye into his hair gel and wait to see old Snivellus walk out with fuchsia hair!"
I chuckle. It's a good prank and James has us all set up with polyjuice potion and hair dye to sneak into the Slytherin's boys' dormitories. The night stretches on, and it goes by in a blur of play fighting and jokes until it's midnight and we're walking up to bed. Walking into our dormitory, Remus goes into the bathroom to change and James and I roll our eyes at his shyness. I pull off my shirt and begin to get changed as he comes out, then roll myself in covers and lay chatting with them while they get into bed.
~Remus~
I always dress in the bathroom. I'm not really shy, it's just that I need to brush my teeth anyway, so why not kill two birds with one stone? When I come out, in baggy plaid pants and a loose waffle t-shirt, Sirius' shirt is off. I avert my eyes and struggle to focus on putting away the multitude of books scattered among my sheets and choosing one to read. I'm halfway through a couple of fantasy books, but also deep into an old paper about Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration. I hear Sirius chuckle and look over at his form under the blankets.
"Must you be such a nerd?" He asks jokingly, long shaggy hair cascading over his deep blue-grey eyes.
"Shut it, Sirius."
"Or what?" He asks mockingly.
I grab my wand and flick my wrist nonchalantly and a snake about the length of a ruler appears on his chest.
He lets out a little scream and I vanish it as James and I erupt into laughter and he shakily joins in.
"Alright, alright Moony, I take it back!" he announces and I smirk. Crawling into bed I extinguish the lights with a quick spell and we lay awake for hours talking, until James falls asleep.
"Mate?" I ask, uncertain about the upcoming conversation.
"Yeah?" Sirius responds inquisitively.
" I noticed you were a bit off today. Is everything alright?"
"What? Yeah, just a little worried about Quidditch, that's all." I hear the lie in his tone, but don't want to push him too hard about it.
"I should be asking you though, mate," He says. "How are you doing with…you know….your furry little problem?"
I snicker. The term always makes me laugh even though in reality it's no picnic. "Not great, but I've had worse nights. I mean, I have to deal with your snoring." I try to pass it off as a joke and Sirius laughs.
"Fair enough. Night!" I hear Sirius turn over in bed and respond quietly "Good night, Sirius." It sounds creepy, but for a while I just lay there, taking it all in as his soft breathing turns to raucous snores until I drifted away.
