Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fic. God I wish I did.
A/N: Okay well, at first this wassupposedto be some kind of way to knock me out of my writers block. I'm still working on Scrambled Wits but I'm having issues with inspiration. Sure, I can just let that have at it, but wheres the fun in that right? So I cooked this up to try and get the lemon-writing bug out of me. Which is funny because I've never written one before. Turns out, it's hard!! Not only was it difficult trying to word everything right, but in my doing so it ended up way longer that I intended it to be! A bit too long actually... So yeah, the bug should be gone now. Or at least I hope it is. This is supposed to be a two-part fic because the first part is supposed to show how it started and the second how it ends.
Please review! I look forward to helpful reviews as well. Oh, and if you're interested in what Sakura's different outfit looks like click over to my other fic Scrambled Wits. The link to a concept drawing is in the A/N there.
Hope you enjoy!
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Understandable
Part One
Depending on who you asked, you'll get one of two different reactions when the subject one Hatake Kakashi and one Haruno Sakura comes up.
One half make up the older generations of the leaf village that have nothing better to do that to poke their noses in others affairs to entertain their own boring lives. "He's too old for her. She was his student. She's a child compared to him. It borders pedofilia," is what they'll say.
The other half makes up the younger, more modern society with more understanding of today's culture. Ask this group and you'll hear: "He's one of Konoha's Top Shinobi, and she's the Hokage's Apprentice." That's it.
If you'd notice, the older generations tress too much on the details whereas the others only dwell on what's important. After all, are small insignificant details that important to the everyday life of ninja? To the life of a shinobi and kunoichi that live everyday of their life in almost constant danger? Funny how half the village said ninja risk their lives to protect deem themselves the right to judge their personal affairs.
Because if you just get down to it, it was perfectly understandable that Konoha's top shinobi would fall for the Hokage's apprentice. Names forgotten.
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Neither of them saw it coming. On one of the most loneliest nights the copy-ninja had ever known, he'd found that he wasn't the only one who'd visit the memorial that night. Not after that heart-wrenching funeral the entire village had gone through. Two of the village's most cherished shinobi had died that day and for what? Konoha's civilians would never truly understand the sacrifice Naruto had made when he took Sasuke down along with him. The death of the nine-tailed fox ensured that whatever plans Akatsuki had wouldn't work now, and with Sasuke's death, whatever plans for revenge fell through.
Now, Sharingan Kakashi stood next to his last remaining team mate, silently watching her as she stared at the names on the memorial that would haunt her the same way Obito and Rin's did him. They stood there for a good long time until the sun went down and he realized she was shaking, but despite the quivering there was no sign of tears.
"You're cold," He said but received no response. He gave a slight shiver himself noticing the icy wind pick up. "The temperature's dropping. Let me take you home."
"I don't want to go home." she replied evenly, barely letting him finish speaking.
"Then where should I take you? The Yamanaka's?" He said, taking a step closer and crouching down in front of her; blocking her view of the memorial.
"No," She said just as quickly. "All she does is talk, and I don't want to talk. Talking means thinking, and I don't want to think. I don't want to think or feel, I just want to stay numb." Her shivering got worse and she crouched down herself to Kakashi's level, holding her hands together and resting her elbows to her bent knees.
He gave her a hard look, and inwardly he sighed. He was grieving too. Out of all three of his students Sakura was the least jaded of them. He couldn't help but feel it was because he didn't teach her much of anything. Here was one of the strongest, smartest of Konoha's Kunoichi and he couldn't claim any credit. Now the ones he could claim credit for were dead. Killed each other in a final battle in the name of the village's safety. Despite the bitter fact that the village was safer now with them gone, Kakashi wished just as hard as Sakura did for it to not have to be that way. He'd ever admit it to anyone, but the copy-ninja had lead a lonely life until the birth of team 7. He wouldn't go as far as feeling like a father-figure as the fourth Hokage was to him, but they were family. He'd gotten lonely again once the team disbanded when Sasuke left, but when Team Kakashi was formed he'd felt bit of what it was like to have a family again. Now that family was gone and the only one left was the one he least deserved it from.
He held a hand out to her in invitation. "I'm going for a drink at the pub. Come with me." Kakashi said gently, trying to ease the hurt. She looked up at him sharply, surprise written clearly across her face.
"A drink at the pub? Kakashi, didn't you care about them at all?" He could see the hurt in her eyes increase tenfold. So there was still a bit of naivety left in her after all.
"Of course I cared for them, Sakura. I'm not going for a good time. Alcohol's a favorite in numbing the pain as you put it." He said, standing but keeping his palm out to her. Her eyes softened a bit but still held a hint of disbelief. He stood there in silence as he watched several different emotions fight across her features. It wasn't until another gust of icy wind did she reach out and take his hand.
Hoisting her up to her feet, Kakashi turned to lead the way when he was pulled back. "Not the pub," Her hold on his hand tightened, keeping him from taking another step. "I don't want to see any more sorry faces. I don't want to see their pity." She said quietly, looking into his eyes in a way that froze him to the spot. "You and I were the closest to them, Kakashi. There are only a few others that can say they were as close to them as we were."
Kakashi let out a pent up sigh. "You don't want to go home, and you're denying me the pub," He said, matter-of-factly, pulling his hand free of her grasp to squeeze her shoulder. What could he do? He wouldn't leave her here. Not at this state of mind. There was no telling what would happen to her if he left her this way. But where else was there but his apartment? The last time Sakura was there, she was with Naruto celebrating a birthday for a reluctant copy-ninja a couple months back. Wouldn't that memory just upset her more? However with such few choices it seemed the only place that Sakura wouldn't object to. "Come on then. I won't leave you here to freeze." Silently he led them back to his first-floor apartment and out of the drizzle that had begun to rain upon them.
Once inside, they removed their sandals and took off their vests. He motioned for her to take a seat on the couch but she preferred the floor in front of the unlit fireplace. Kakashi gestured at the starter log and flint next to it, and she started on the fire while he made his way over to the kitchen. With two glasses and two rather large bottles of Sake and American Vodka, Kakashi took a seat next to Sakura in front of a well lit fire. He'd flipped off the lights he turned on earlier in favor of the fire that gently lit the room. The heavy contrast or raw heat against his cool skin made an involuntary shiver run over him. Living on the base level of a two floor apartment gave him the added benefit of a fireplace. Normally he rarely ever used the thing, but now he silently appreciated the small perk. Kakashi poured her a small glass of sake before getting up again and making his way through the darkness to his bedroom. Sakura was about to ask him why he left when he returned with several blankets and a pillow, laying them next to her before taking his place back on the other side of her. When he went to pour his own glass of vodka he realized hers was already empty. He refilled her glass and handed it to her. She quickly downed it and simply held the glass in her small hands down on her lap and gazed into the fire. Kakashi swallowed his own glass of vodka.
"You can spend the night." He said quietly, unsure of how to snap her out of her trance. She only nodded her head. They sat in silence for a while longer, drinking two more glasses each. "Sakura... I understand how you feel, but-"
"Do you now? Why is this about me? What about you? It's obvious that I'm upset but you just sit there like its just another day on the job," Kakashi wasn't entirely sure if angry was quite better, but at least she wasn't a statue. "Don't you care at all? Aren't you upset? Sad, or angry? Do you feel anything at all?" He was only slightly offended at the insinuation that he didn't care about his team's death, but he knew she was just releasing pent up emotions.
"Sakura, I cared about them just as much as you did. I just have my own way of coping." He said, lifting the vodka bottle for her to see before pouring himself another glass. He basked in the warming sensation that filled his insides and he downed the next glass, momentarily clearing his mind of anything else.
"It's not healthy to leave your emotions bottled up inside." She said before chugging the next glass of sake.
"So says the one who wants to feel numb," He said taking another swig of his own. "Ninja code of conduct #23. A ninja never reveals their emotions."
"You're not on duty, Kakashi." Another glass of sake down.
"A Shinobi is always on duty" Another shot of Vodka.
"You're only human. It'd do you good to express how you feel," After downing another glass of sake, Sakura began to visibly sway on the spot. Kakashi shook his head. She really had no idea. She didn't want him to release the pent up guilt, and anger that was inside him. Over the years he'd perfected keeping those emotions locked away. Letting them out now would only drive her away. She was the last of his small piece of the normality he deeply cherished and she didn't even realize it.
Seemingly forgotten her chain of thought she put down her glass and held up the sake bottle for inspection. She grunted at the label. "Y'know, I thought this stuff was supposed to numb you," She said distractedly, turning the bottle in her hands. "It's doing the complete opposite."
Kakashi gulped down one last glass before taking the bottle from her and carrying the rest back to the kitchen. "It's different for everyone. It's really supposed to serve as a distraction," Even after all the alcohol he'd consumed he wasn't nearly as drunk as he'd like to be. Despite that he enjoyed the warm heavy feeling he managed to get as he made his way back over to Sakura's side. "It's getting late," He said as he stood and offered her a hand to get up. He knew she'd need it. "You should get some sleep."
"I don't want to feel this." She said sadly, looking back into the fire that was starting to die down.
"Sorry the booze didn't do it for you." Sakura shook her head gently.
"I thought numb would make me feel better but it just makes me feel empty." Kakashi
"Now you're just being hypocritical." He said with a sigh. What was she getting at? She looked up at him and took his hand. As gently as he could so as not to knock them both over he helped her up for the second time that night. Sakura wobbled a bit in place and Kakashi held her steady with his hands on her shoulders. She limply flopped to his chest and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her back. After a moment of regaining balance, Sakura shifted and brought her face to his mask-covered neck. She nibbled gently at his neck and Kakashi stilled. He suddenly realized this wasn't his greatest idea, bringing her to his apartment and boozing her up. Now in her foggy state of mind, Sakura was getting her feelings mixed up. This wasn't exactly how he thought her coming over would turn out.
"Sakura..." He began but was cut off by her muffled voice.
"If you're feeling anything remotely close to what I'm feeling like you say, than wouldn't you rather feel something else?" She said before running her hands up his chest and giving the fabric a soft lick. His hand immediately went for her wrists and he tried to pull her off, but in his vodka induced high he seemed to lack the will.
"Sakura, we shouldn't do this..." Kakashi said gently. If she was as drunk as he thought she was, he didn't want to upset her into a drunken fury. It wasn't unpleasant, the warm, cushiony feeling of having a woman in your arms, but Kakashi knew it wouldn't be right of him accept her advances. She was the only family he had left now, it wouldn't be wise of him to go and mess that up now.
She didn't try to fight him, but she shifted again, and raised her head close to his. Their lips only a breath apart.
She was so close. All he had to do was lean in and let the sensations take over. He knew it'd be wrong of him if he did, he knew it. But her sweet breath wafted over his face and it sent delicious tremors down his body that were so very hard to ignore. She's too young for him, and though it wasn't unheard of in teammates, it'd be improper him being her ex-sensei. He mentally repeated the obvious reasons why he shouldn't. His resolve wavered, and his breath quickened.
"Tell me you don't want this, Kakashi," she breathed, her eyelids heavy with new lust. He did want this. Very much so. "Damn propriety and tell me you would rather feel the despair eat away at you, and I'll leave right now." If it were possible, she got even closer, their bodies almost completely melded together and Kakashi didn't realize until it was too late. His body was responding and he couldn't stop it. "I know I'd rather feel your arms around me."
Their hearts were pounding, their breaths coming in quick heady pants and Kakashi's mind went blank. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her lips. He suddenly could find no reason why they shouldn't help each other forget the grief they both felt. In that instant all he knew was that he couldn't argue, because he felt the same. He would much rather feel her warm body move against his than the guilt of failing his team, and the loneliness he'd suffer as consequence.
His grip on her wrists slackened and she took the opportunity to pull her hands free; running her fingers deep into the hair at the back of his head, pulling him forward. The tension broke loose and their lips finally met in a frenzy of small, but eager kisses. Kakashi moved his hands to her hips their bodies getting impossibly close when Sakura broke away and moved her fingers over his mouth and to the top of his mask. By then the fire had died, enveloping them in darkness, and he didn't protest when she yanked it down; attacking his lips.
What started out as small and innocent quickly turned into hard and impatient. With the mask out of the way he could finally taste her. He took hold of her jawline and ran his tongue across her lips, giving the bottom one a small bite. She opened her mouth in a small gasp and his tongue delved inside, reaching out for hers. She found his other hand on her lower back and she guided it down to her bottom. He gave it a nice hard grope and she let out a deep moan in response; wrapping her leg around his waist. To say he approved of her actions put it lightly. The hand above her neck shifted to the back of her head. He quickly pulled off the hitai-ate before grabbing a handful of hair and pulled. Her back arched in carnal bliss and her hips bucked instinctively forcing a hiss from the ninja she clung to.
It felt good. Beyond good. The feeling of a warm body draped all over him combined with an alcoholic haze blurred his vision and they both fell backwards. If it weren't for the couch that was there, they'd have landed on the hardwood floor and probably would've resulted in a broken tail bone, and a damper in the mood. Instead, the pair flopped onto the couch and Sakura readjusted herself to straddle his lap. The thrush of electricity she was generating on his groin couldn't be ignored and he promptly grabbed her derriere in both hands and pulled. Hard. Raw pleasure enclosed their lower regions and they both moaned loudly, tipping their heads back. She started moving on her own then, pushing Kakashi to lean back against the couch.
He loved the way she took over and ground her hips into his in a steady rhythm. He relished in the sight of her arching her back, raising her arm, pulling her hair back and her plump little behind working over his hips. He wouldn't publicly announce it, but a woman's rump and hips were his favorite part of the female anatomy where the bedroom was concerned. That, next to her sounds and facial expressions.
She was doing it all right now. Hips grinding, breathy moans and her face contorted in pleasure. Kakashi couldn't help the smug little smirk that crossed his face before Sakura looked up and caught him. She gave him a naughty little smile of her own and gave him an extra hard push of her hips. He'd barely held back a groan but couldn't suppress the harsh intake of breath. Before he could retaliate, his arms were raised as his jounin shirt was removed; taking his hitai-ate along with it. The mesh chainmail quickly followed it. Kakashi didn't let her continue on to his belt. He leaned in, shoving his face in the crook of her neck as he gave both breasts a tight squeeze. The movement in her hips halted. He licked and bit at her neck hoping to leave marks. Her answering gasp encouraged him and he unzipped her shirt, and slid his hand up and under her chainmail. He pulled both off in one quick motion and leaned back to get a good look.
Sakura blushed lightly at Kakashi's blatant stare. He took in the sight before him. Right this minute he had a beautiful woman straddling his hips, arms to her side, back slightly arched, head tilted downward, a rosy blush on her cheeks and a look in her eyes that were clearly saturated in heavy lust; wearing nothing but her shorts, a side slung green medic pouch, elbow guards and knee-high sandals with above-the-knee white stockings. He reached forward and unbuckled the pouch and pulled off the elbow guards. Much better. Kakashi was living one of his most secret fantasies and his smug grin came back full force. It made Sakura's blush grow deeper. Despite the blush, there was no hint of shyness and her breasts were displayed proudly. Thanks to the sharingan, the darkness didn't hinder his sight in the slightest. The weren't the largest breasts he'd ever seen but neither were they the smallest. They were perky, tipped with rosy nipples. They were beautiful.
He reached out and traced a line down her spine making her back arch and her head tilt back. She sighed and closed her eyes. Kakashi couldn't look away. The sight was breathtaking. Why he'd never seen Sakura with a boyfriend was beyond him, she was clearly one of the most beautiful kunoichi in the village. But right now he shouldn't be dwelling on other boyfriends. Right now, she was with him, sitting on his erection and looking at him in a way that begged to be touched.
His mouth found her neck again and he sucked on the skin; bringing a hand to one nipple and pinching lightly. Her breath shook and her legs tightened on his. Her hips started up the rocking motion again and he brought his other hand to help her. They moved together for a long moment, filling the room with the sound of their heavy panting and harsh groans of pleasure; Kakashi kneading her breast in one hand and tweaking the nipple every now and then. He brought his head down and took the other nipple in his mouth, tracing it with his tongue. Her moans were getting louder. Their movements became harsher, more demanding and she clutched his head to her chest.
"Mmmhh, aahn, Kakashi... please," she moaned and let go of his head to start unbuckling his belt. The sound of her moaning his name threw him. It sent a electric feel down his groin. He instantly saw what she wanted and he pulled two kunai from the pouch on his leg behind her. They caught her by surprise and she froze. He gave her a dark, smoldering look and held each kunai in one hand. He pointed the sharp ends to the bottom legs of her shorts, and tucked the tip underneath the fabric. In a fast, but careful motion, he thrust them upward, cutting the whole way through on both ends. Sakura squealed at the loud tearing sound but Kakashi held her still. He lifted her body a small fraction off his hips so he could pull the remains of her shorts away, along with her panties he'd apparently cut as well.
It took Sakura a small moment to realize that she sat on the copy-ninja with her legs spread, completely naked. Save for her sandals and stockings but those didn't really count for much did they. She also didn't have the willpower to care. She took the small moment of silence to absorb the sight of Kakashi well-toned stomach. He was precisely cut and that V-shape of muscle pointing down below his belt was mouthwatering.
He looked her up and down. In her current position, he could easily see the juncture between her legs. She was almost dripping, he noticed. She was ready for him, and so was he. He woke her from her tiny daydream with the sound of his fumbling with his belt. She swatted his hands away. She wasn't about to let him have all the fun, but she was rapidly running out of patience. She wanted him and she wanted him now.
She leaned in and kissed him roughly while she worked in his belt. He responded in kind and held her face to his. His grabbed the hair in the back of her head and pulled, upping the notch in strength. She seemed to love it. Her whimpers and moans were a siren's song to him. He just couldn't get enough. She finished unbuckling his belt, undid the button and unzipped his pants. She spread the flaps wide open and dug her hand into his boxers, fishing around for him. He almost gave a chuckle but lost his breath when she found him. She pulled him out and started stroking him, grinning the entire time. He threw his head back against the couch and he let out a long, deep growling sound.
"Sakura," he panted, breathing hard. They shared a look and they both understood each other. She removed herself from her knees and poised herself over his length before sinking down. She hunched forward and rubbed herself on him, making him slick with her juices. A violent tremor rushed through him. It was almost as good as the real thing, but not.
He couldn't take it anymore. He slumped lower on the couch and grabbed her by the waist. Without a second thought he forced her down, impaling her with his member. They both cried out at the first stroke and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. They started at a needy pace, his hips thrusting upward every time she came down. He started massaging her breasts in both hands, occasionally letting them go just to watch them bounce. Her whimpers were driving him over the edge and it wasn't long before he felt the control slipping. She moaned over and over again and she shifted, leaning back to rest her hands on his legs behind her back. She gave him an amazing view of where they were joined. Each thrust arched her back and he watched, fascinated, as her head was thrown back, breasts bounced, torso stretched, and his length get buried deep within her.
"Yes..." Kakashi grunted, thrusting harder. "That's it..." She was incredibly hot and moist around him. It was the most incredible feeling and he couldn't live in it long enough.
"Aaghn, aaghn, aaghn," Her noises were driving him insane. He continued tweaking and nibbling her nipples just to hear her gasp and whimper. He felt her inner walls tighten around him, and he loved it. "Kakash--aghn!!" Reaching forward, he grabbed her hips once again and started jackhammering into her. Her moans raised significantly in volume and she hardly seemed to care about how she must look. "aaaaaghn!! Kakashi!! aaaghn!! aaahh ugh!! uuhn!! Kakashi!!"
"Mmmhh, yeah." He whispered more to himself than to her. "just like that..." It only took a couple strokes more. She froze, clutching his arms for dear life and he'd never seen her more beautiful. His thrusts never stopped and her rode her through her orgasm. She slumped forward afterward, not caring that she was leaning on his damp sweaty skin. He didn't last much longer than she did. He held her behind firmly in both hands and forgot control, completely ravishing her body with reckless abandon. His head was thrown back and he let out a very harsh and primitive sound as he came, hard. He still had half a mind and managed to pull out at the last second letting it spurt onto the floor. He'd have to clean that up later once his legs stopped feeling like jelly.
They sat there for a long moment, both trying to catch their breaths. The alcohol had long worn off and they were both of sound mind. He wondered briefly what she was thinking. She seemed deep in thought. If he knew her well, he knew she'd ruin the moment by asking questioned better left for the morning, or better yet, another day. Before she could start, he found strength in his legs and hefted them both up and off the couch. She wrapped her legs around his waste and her arms around his neck and sighed. Making his way down the hall and to his bedroom, he closed the door behind him. It wouldn't open again until later the next morning.
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