Authors Note: I wrote this a couple years ago for a fanfiction contest on DeviantArt. Unfortunately I didn't win but a lot of people seemed to like this silly piece so I figured I should upload it. It's definitely not meant to be taken seriously, I just intended it to be a funny piece! I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and the characters within belong to Square-Enix!


"You don't like it..?" Yuffie Kisaragi frowned, her expression turning into a pout. She had only meant to get Cloud something he wanted for his birthday, something he would get good use out of but it was clear he wasn't impressed in the slightest.

"Uh... it's... nice Yuffie but... I'm a guy." Cloud Strife's mako blue eyes latched on to hers and he set the dress aside, not even bothering to fold it up neatly. It would have been lovely on a girl, a gorgeous shade of blue, but it wasn't exactly Cloud's cup of tea. "I mean... no offense..."

Despite his words it was clear Yuffie had taken deep offense for she remained silent the rest of the party, an amazing feat for someone as talkative as her. Tifa, ever the hostess, decided it might be best to move on, ushering the others in the party to give up their gifts to Cloud.

"A pearl necklace, really Cid?"

"I thought you liked that sort of thing!" Cid puffed on his cigarette, muttering something about people being ungrateful. The next gifts were no better, perfume from Vincent, a hair clip from Red XIII (who knows where he managed to get that), but to top it all off Barret thought his gift was the best, a pair of rather frilly looking undergarments.

Now, Cloud had been willing to sit and open them, blushing all the while, but the last gift set him off. "What's going on!? Are these all just gag gifts..?" He surveyed the group with a harsh glare and Vincent was the one to speak.

"We asked Tifa for gift ideas and she happened to mention the time you dressed as a girl to sa-"

"What!? Tifa... I told you never to talk about that again! You swore to never tell anyone!" The blonde stood, a couple presents falling to the floor. He was furious, angrier than they had ever seen and he didn't wait for an explanation before stomping out of the bar.

As silence fell upon the group Barret grumbled, breaking it. "Damn, what's her problem?"