Hello, dearest readers! Some of you might remember this little one shot because I posted it a few months ago. However, seeing as yesterday was Valentine's Day, I thought you deserved to have something, even if a little late.
Therefore, I decided to repost this story, with some alterations to make it more enjoyable. Please, don't forget to review, follow and favorite.
Warning: Juvia and Gray might be a bit OOC here since I decided show their relationship from another perspective.
Happy reading!
My Heart Will Go On-Celine Dion
Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold you
In my life we'll always go on
"I love you." Three simple words. Not so different from others, they held no special meaning by themselves, only the one they were given. Depending on the person who would receive them, they could also mean different things. In this case, they meant trouble. Danger. And she wished he had never said them.
It was the night of the Grand Magic Banquet, a week after Fairy Tail and other famous guilds had saved the world from the biggest threat since the Dragon War. Needless to say, everyone was immensely relieved that the fight was over, so they were more than glad to celebrate their victory.
It was supposed to be a night of happiness, joy, and bonding time. But not all were happy. She certainly wasn't. Specially now that he had said those three words she had dreamed of hearing for so long, yet could not accept. Not when she knew the consequences of it.
"You don't mean that." Juvia accused, quickly shaking her head and stepping away from him. Gray stared at her in confusion and disbelief. That was certainly not the reaction he had been expecting to his confession. He had been certain that she would be overjoyed, but she seemed anything but happy.
"Of course I do. I wouldn't lie to you, not about that." He firmly told her, thinking the reason for her unusual reaction was uncertainty about his words. After all, they came so suddenly and out of the blue, unlike how he had planned. But Gray Fullbuster had long since learned that things in life never go as planned.
"Why, Gray? Why now?" She asked, fearful blue eyes staring into his. She looked so sad and desperate all of sudden, which confused him.
"I'm sorry I took so long to realize it, but once I did, I knew I had to tell you." He whispered before taking a step towards her. They were in the middle of the room, right on the dance floor. For a few minutes they had danced until he couldn't take it anymore. The way he blurted out the words couldn't have been less romantic, but he didn't care. All that mattered was that she knew.
Or at least he thought that until her eyes widened and her expression turned from mildly happy to sadness. Her hands, which had settled on his chest, were quickly removed as she stared at him in shock.
"No." Juvia whispered before taking another step backwards, accidentally bumping onto a very unhappy Gajeel, who was unwillingly dancing with Levy.
"The hell?" The dragon slayer let out and he turned back to glare at her until he realized she was the one who had bumped into him. "What's wrong?" He saw her sorrowful face and stared between her and Gray suspiciously. The ice mage felt uneasy under his stare. "What the hell did you do?"
"I don't know." The ice mage exasperatedly replied to the dragon slayer's question and the water mage intervened before things got out of control.
"Everything's alright, Gajeel. We'll just go outside." She gave her friend a reassuring yet fake smile and he raised a brow, but said nothing. She started walking in the direction of the palace doors and Gray stood there, dumbfounded for a moment before following her.
Along the way, he encountered Natsu and Lucy, who had known about his confession and were concerned since Juvia was leaving. He told them he had no idea what was going on, but something was wrong. He didn't stick around to hear their theories about why his confession had been rejected.
Once outside of the castle, Gray assumed that she would go in the direction of the gardens, a more private place for them to talk, but she surprised him by going in the opposite direction, towards the castle gates. He followed her curiously and silently, understanding she was probably lost in thought and didn't want to talk until they reached their destination.
They walked for about 15 more minutes and as each of them went by, his heart beat faster with fear and nervousness. He was at a loss of words. Never in a million years would he assume that Juvia would react negatively to his confession. The worst case scenario he had pictured is that she would get so excited she would start announcing his feelings to all the participants of the ball, embarrassing him.
This was worse. Much worse. And her silence only made him feel more uneasy, she was not the type to stay silent for so long. She usually tried her best to keep the conversation going, unlike Gray, who preferred the quietness. Tonight, tough, it only made him feel more nervous and concerned. Something was definitely wrong.
He was broken from his thoughts when she suddenly stopped. It took a few seconds for him to realize where they were, but once he did, his heart clenched. Everything looked the same as it had that night, a week before. The fountain with the statue of a mermaid that was now headless, the ruins of a few houses that used to circulate the square. The spot on the ground where his lifeless body had lay for a few moments.
"Why are we here?" He spoke and she sighed. She was standing with her back to him, long blue hair flowing because of the wind.
He could see her bare back since her dress was backless. It was beautiful, he thought in the back of his mind. When she had entered the ballroom about 2 hours before, clad in that light blue dress that fit her perfectly, it had been hard for him to resist the urge to ask for her company. He didn't want to seem desperate, so he had waited 1 hour and a half before asking her to dance. Perhaps he should have waited more.
"This place is important. Special, even, though not for good reasons." Juvia's voice was small and he could hear her sniffs, making him feel even worse.
"Juvia, what…." She didn't let him finish the question.
"This is the place where you died." The words came out harshly and her sniff turned into a loud sob. Gray couldn't take it anymore, seeing her clearly in pain only made the knot in his heart tighten. He cautiously approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She shivered, but made allowed him to place it here.
"But I didn't. I'm right here with you." He gently told her and she slowly turned around. Her eyes were a bit red, tears streamed down her face, but in his eyes, she looked beautiful. She always did.
"You were gone. Because...of me." She said between sobs and his heart broke at the pain and sadness in her voice. The last thing he had ever wanted was to cause her pain, but he realized now just how much his death had affected her. "And I can't stop thinking about it." She continued, hands desperately trying to wipe off the never ending tears.
"I'm sorry. I had…I had no idea." He apologized and she only cried harder.
"I keep seeing it, every day." She told him brokenly and he had to avoid her eyes, unable take all the emotions in them. "I've tried to, but I can't stop the nightmares."
"You've been having nightmares about it?" His eyes widened. In truth, she wasn't the only one. The moment he had come so close to losing her, if it wasn't for his sacrifice, hadn't left his mind either. However, Gray had had enough nightmares over the course of his life to know exactly how to deal with them, so it hadn't bothered him as much as it clearly bothered her.
"Every night. I can't sleep anymore because I know I'll only be watching you die over and over again." She let out a loud sob and he wrapped his arms around her in what he hoped was a comforting hug. She didn't protest, but he could sense she wasn't feeling very comfortable in his embrace and that only hurt him more.
"Juvia, why didn't you tell me?" He questioned, starting to feel frustrated. If only she had told him about it, but she had been avoiding him for the past week. And, truthfully, Gray had avoided her too. He had decided after that night to keep his distance, knowing it was the only way to keep her safe.
However, after a conversation with Erza and, surprisingly, Jellal Fernandes, Gray had realized that his decision was stupid and would only cause him and Juvia to suffer. That's why he had decided to confess his feelings that night, hoping she would understand why he didn't before and accept his love. He would have never predicted this outcome.
"I couldn't, I had to stay away from you." Her words made his eyes widen as he considered the possibility that she had felt the same as he did. He pulled apart from their hug and stared deeply into her eyes.
"Why did you decide to stay away?" Her response confirmed his thought.
"Because this, whatever this is, it's dangerous. We can't be close to each other or else someone's going to get hurt." Her tone was serious, scared and Gray couldn't help but to laugh at the irony of the situation.
"I'm sorry, but this is just too ridiculous." She stared at him in confusion, probably assuming he was laughing at what she said.
"It's not!" Juvia argued and she started rambling before he could say anything. "I knew you wouldn't understand it and assume I'm just being crazy, just like Gajeel did when I told him. But I am not being paranoid. You DIED, Gray. Not just a close call, but you were actually gone. If Ultear hadn't…." She couldn't finish the sentence, the tears started falling once again and she broke down, hands covering her face as she sobbed uncontrollably. Gray gently removed one of them and tightly held onto it before leading her towards the fountain. They sat down and he tried his best not to lose it.
"Juvia, look at me!" He said after a few moments of awkward silence, with the exception of her sobs. "I understand what you said, completely." A surprised look crossed her face.
"You do?" She asked with a small voice and he nodded.
"It's incredible how similar we are, don't know how I missed it before." When she only stared at him in confusion, he quickly explained, taking one of her hands in his and holding it. "I thought the same thing, Juvia. I decided to stay away from you because I thought that if I let you get too close, I'd be putting you in danger."
"Then why did you confess? How exactly did you assume that would help in your plan?" Juvia questioned, feeling lost and frustrated. If only he had stayed away, they wouldn't be in the mess. She would continue avoiding him like she had planned and maybe, in time, it wouldn't be so hard. But his confession had ruined everything.
Who'd have ever thought that something she had wanted for so long could possibly hurt so much.
"I realized it was a very stupid plan." Gray admitted after a few moments and she raised a brow. "Staying away from you when I was so sure that I loved you was only hurting me. And I thought, it must be hurting you too. So, after I talked to Erza and she made me see it, I decided I had to tell you about my feelings."
"I wasn't…. Expecting this." She admitted, still unsure how to feel. His words were so alluring and she wanted so much to accept them, but as she once again replayed his death in her mind, she was reminded of why she had stayed away. Danger. This was dangerous. Being here with him was dangerous.
"Neither was I." Gray said before breaking out into a smile. "But I am glad for it. Falling for you has been… unlike anything I experienced before. I was terrified, still am, but now I know I can't stay away. I love you, Juvia." He said it for the third time that night and she took a deep breath. Her defenses were weakening. It was so tempting to just accept his love and allow herself to be happy like she knew she would if they were together. Why couldn't she just give in?
The memory of his body falling to the ground, unmoving, reminded her of the consequences.
"I can't." Juvia regrettably said before standing up, keeping her back to him. She had to stay strong, no matter how much it killed her inside.
"Yes, you can." He firmly said before also standing up and grabbing one of her hands, turning her around so she would be forced to look at him. She saw determination in his eyes and her treacherous heart was beating faster than ever.
"Gray, please. This is already hard enough." She tried to loosen his grip, but instead he brought her closer. She soon found herself pressed against him, their faces so close she could feel his cold breath. The alarm on her head went off and all she could hear was the word she had needed to repeat to herself for the past few days. Danger. Danger. Dangerous territory.
"Did you know that seeing you so reluctant to let me in has only made me fall for you even more?" Gray whispered, amused, and she tried to get out of his grasp, but his arms were locked around her frame. She sighed, giving up on struggling. All she had to do was find a way to resist him. But that was so hard and he was so close. Too close.
"Please." She begged for him to release her or fulfill both of their desires and kiss her; she didn't know.
"You are quite possibly the most infuriating woman I've ever met, Juvia Lockser. But that's just another reason why I fell for you." He whispered as one of his hands came to brush her hair back and her heart was beating so loudly she was sure he could hear it.
The moment she stared into his dark eyes and saw the determination in them, her resolve was lost.
"Gray…" She said his name quietly and he stared at her, looking curious and a bit nervous. A pale hand touched his cheek. "Kiss me." His smile returned before he complied to her wish. It was a passionate and desperate kiss. Her arms, which had been trapped by her side, went around his neck as she attempted to bring him even closer to her.
In the back of her mind, Juvia could hear her conscience cursing her for being so weak, but she didn't care. All she knew is that she never wanted to stay apart from him ever again, it had hurt too much. Now that she knew he returned her feelings, she wanted nothing more than to build a life with him, to be happy.
They pulled apart a few moments later, both breathless and his smile was wider than she had ever seen. As she breathed into the fresh air, Juvia's eyes widened once she realized what she had just done. She had given in. "Oh, no." He stared at her in confusion. "You shouldn't have done that!" She accused and he raised an eyebrow.
"You asked me to." Gray replied bluntly and she pulled away, shaking her head.
"No, no, no." She repeated, eyes widened in horror. "We can't do this, it's dangerous." He rolled his eyes.
"You're being way too stubborn." He told her before his eyes softened. "Look, I know how it feels, okay? I've spent my entire life building up walls and not letting people get close to my heart because I was so afraid to lose them." He paused and took a deep breath. "But then you came along and slowly, you melted those walls. You showed me that it's okay to let go once in a while and allow yourself to feel."
"But..." Juvia tried to protest, but he interrupted her.
"We can't keep making ourselves suffer only because of our fears, Juvia. I know you're afraid of losing me again and I can't promise that I won't leave, because that's not really up to me." He paused once more and she remained silent, much to his surprise. "What I can promise you is I'll be careful, that I will live. For you."
"You died for me, only a week ago." She pointed out and he sighed.
"I know. But I have changed since then. Now I understand that I can't keep living in constant fear that something terrible will happen if I allow myself to be with you." He stared deeply into her eyes and she was overwhelmed by the adoration in them. He loved her. Gray Fullbuster actually loved her.
As she listened to his words, she understood them. Understood how stupid she had been, for believing that staying away from him was the right answer. How could it be when it had only caused them both to suffer? It was in that moment, as Gray stared into her eyes intensely, that his death stopped being a warning and became what it truly was: a memory. A bad one, indeed, but only a memory.
And she realized the best way to prevent it from happening again was not to avoid him, but to protect him. And she would do that.
"Do you promise me that you'll never do something like that again?" Juvia asked after a few moments and he smiled once again.
"I do, as long as you promise the same." Gray replied and she nodded. She would keep him safe, not by staying away from him, but by always staying by his side.
"We have an agreement then. No more being reckless." He wanted to protest, but knew it was better not to. She needed his reassurance at the moment.
"No more being reckless." He repeated and this time her face broke into a smile before she threw herself in his arms. He was taken aback for a moment, but wasted no time in wrapping his own arms around her.
For a few minutes, they stayed in comfortably silence before she broke it.
"Can you say it again?" She pleaded and he raised an eyebrow, but quickly understood what she meant.
"I love you." He complied and her smile enlarged. He loved her. It felt like a dream, but it was so much better.
"I love you too." She told him before they leaned in for another breathtaking kiss.
In that moment, the words "I love you" no longer meant danger, death, or loss. They returned to their original meaning of happiness and joy and Juvia was relieved. Love was, after all, the best thing that happened in her life, and to have looked at it as something dangerous had been too hard. Then again, the meaning of "I love you" can change for each person or over time.
But Juvia knew that, as long as she and Gray were together, it would always mean happiness.
So, what did you think? Too cliche? Too OOC? I know it would be Gray the one to stay away in this situation, but I wanted to explore the other side. I also don't think it's too unlikely that Juvia would react this way after watching him die.
For those awaiting the last chapter of Connections, it should be posted by Sunday. I just need to work on the final touch.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
