Mirror Image

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Rating: PG

Genre: Angst

Summary: Some things will never leave us, no matter how much we wish. Once the darkness has you, it will never let go. One-shot Ken-centric

Time period: Season 02, after the demise of the Emperor and before the rebirth of Wormmon

Warning: Angst, dark material, blood content

Starting date: August 26, 2003

Finishing date: August 26, 2003

Author's Notes: I used to love writing Ken angst more than anything, especially after seeing the episode where he is dreaming about his past. But I lost my love of it for a while when I got mixed up with school and other genres to write about. That is, until I started to read my old favorites on Fanfiction.net. I've been having a case of writer's block lately, or rather, a different sort of syndrome. I won't go into the details, but this little piece is an exercise in my writing skills. Not that this is insignificant, mind you! Rather, this is a quick piece to whet my abilities for writing angst and other genres. I have to note that I use the dubbed version of Osamu for his nickname, instead of opting for "Ken- chan" or "Ken-kun." Otherwise, most of this is Japanese-canon based.

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Disclaimer: I do NOT own Digimon or any of the characters, plotlines, etc. involved. Otherwise, I would continue to air seasons 01 and 02 on public television. Damn Fox and the fourth season fixation.

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"Mirrors, I assure you, can cause more pain than broadswords, more terror than ghouls." -Merlin, The Mirror of Merlin by T.A. Barron

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Glass. Smooth glass under my fingers.

I look at the reflection in the mirror.

Two eyes, Prussian blue and dark as the ocean. Eyes girls coo over and sigh.

Long hair, midnight blue and offsetting the eyes. Hair that females envy.

Pert nose, unlike most Japanese. Nose that everyone thought was adorable since childhood.

Soft, thin lips, easily twisted into a smirk or half smile. Lips so many want to kiss and claim.

Sloping jawline, well formed ears, arching eyebrows, high cheekbones, so many other features.

All of them the features of a monster.

How ironic Fate is, I think. To give such an evil, twisted creature such beautiful features.

The glass is cold under my fingertips, as cold as my heart and my soul.

No, my soul is black, black as the night and the waters of the Ocean that had given birth to the Digimon Kaizer.

My heart doesn't exist.

I look up again, and blue eyes stare at me, accusing me. They ask, Why are we the sight of a monster?

I close my eyes, to shut out the accusing depths. Leave me, just leave me be.

But nothing will.

I am Cain, shunned by all for the blasphemy of slaying. I will not be killed but for the mark on my head, but allowed life, in shame, for the sins I have committed. Death would be merciful, but even that is not allowed me.

I am the serpent, forced to eat the dust of the ground, without legs. I am to be trodden by humanity, to repent. But I endure, for that is my punishment as well.

As I open my eyes again, I see another in the mirror.

Hair pale azure, like the sullen color of a late winter sky, spiked up, a mocking parody of once neatly styled locks.

Thin lips twisted into a smirk, a leer, an expression with no mirth, only sadistic glee.

Eyes cold as ice, encased behind lenses of violet-blue framed with gold.

"Hello, Ken," the Kaizer whispers to me, voice poisonous.

"Kaizer," I whisper back, eyes wide in disbelief. "I-I thought you were gone-"

"Never, Kenny-boy," he says with a soft cackle, using the name Osamu had given me with sadistic relish.

My guts twist at the name. He notes my flinching and smirks wider. "Still worried about your dear brother, Kenny-boy?" he croons. "You know it was your fault, you killed him, just as much as the car had."

"No." I fall to my knees, tears welling up. "Go away, you're not me."

"No, Kenny-boy," he whispered. "I AM you. I am every dark thought in your mind, I am the shadows of your soul. I am the hatred and rage that lie deep within you. I am your darkness."

"Leave me alone," I whimper, unable to look away from the blurring picture of the Kaizer.

"I will never leave you," he hisses. "We are one. You may deny it, but I will always be in you." His voice echoes, sounding like a hundred, a thousand Kaizers, surrounding me, accusing me.

"You are impure."

"You are a murderer."

"You are a kinslayer."

"Your hands are covered in blood."

"You killed your own partner."

"He loved you, but you destroyed him with that love."

"You are filth."

"You are marred perfection."

"You are mine."

"You will forever be mine."

"And we will never be alone."

"For we will rule with darkness."

"STOP!" I scream, tears spilling out of my eyes.

The Kaizer smirks and I feel anger rising in me. I want to hurt him, to destroy him, to have him burn and eliminate the ashes left behind.

"Yes," he purrs. "Let that anger drive you, for we will only become stronger that way. You are mine, Ken, you were always mine. And we will never be separated ever again."

"Never!" I scream at him. "I won't be yours! I am not wedded to darkness! I hate you! I've always hated you! Just leave me alone!"

My fist lashes out to shatter the glass. The Kaizer looks surprised for a moment as my fist collides into him, cracking his image, then he laughs, cackles long and hard even as my fist shatters the image of the Kaizer.

Warm blood runs down my fist, glass runs into my flesh. Rivulets of crimson run down my arm, staining my gray shirt. I look at it dully, the Kaizer's cackle still echoing in my ears.

He is right.

I will never be free of him.

He's what I see in the mirror and he is my shadow lover.

We will never be alone, ever. Darkness calls to darkness.

When he calls, I will come.

I curl up and cry, in my little nest of glass and blood.

~*~

Ken: /twitches/ Thanks for reminding me.

/beams/ No problem, Ken-kun.

Adrian: /sighs, gently pulls Ken away/ Come on, kid, let's get a drink in you.

Ken: /hopefully/ Do you have something- strong?

Adrian: Yeah.

/hits Adrian/ How could you? You're getting poor Ken-kun fixated on alcohol. And he's only eleven!

Adrian: /huffs/ Well, lookie here, missy, look who's having him angst and yell at mirrors? He's only eleven.

Ken: /sneaks off, stealing a suspicious looking bottle/ Oh yes, my precious. /purrs/