You are Jake English and in front of you is probably your dream woman. There's Jane, lovelier than any screenshot or video camera could capture- and all you can do is look over at your best friend, oh fiddlesticks, that is your best chum over there, and you cannot keep your eyes away from him. Dirk.

You're kind of in shock for a few reasons.

You look from Jane, to Dirk, to the girl glued to his side. You've never seen Roxy look more happy in the entirety that you've known her. It's a big, wide smile unclouded by her usual inebriated state. Nope, that is a sober, genuine, brilliant smile on that young lady's lips as she hugs Dirk tightly around his waist. She seems almost oblivious the the world. Looks like a lady smitten if you've ever seen one.

Dirk on the other hand is looking away, surveying the area quietly with his arm draped around Roxy's own waist, his hand securely at her side.

"Jake?"

You look again to Jane, and you study her better. Yes, that's your dream woman summed up in the petite figure of one of your other best friends standing before you. Well, your dream woman who isn't an undead alien that can read minds. She's kind of half in the picture. Yet Jane is definitely front and center right now.

She's quite beautiful, in a way that makes you just a tad nervous. As far as you can tell, she's not wearing any make-up and somehow still looks flawless. You love the intensely bright blue in her eyes. Brilliant.

Unfortunately your eyes keep wandering back to that darned Strider.

All those old thoughts feel like they're about to boil to the surface. You can't help but give him a good study as well. He's taller than you, though you already knew that. Even Dirkbot was taller than you.

It suddenly strikes you that this is the real Dirk Strider.

It is not Dirkbot, it is not those stupid AR sunglasses that love to fuck with your brain, and it is not the Dirk that your Page mind dreamed up. It's really him.

The thought sends you reeling. You're actually nervous now; a full-blown panicky sort of nervous that makes you wish for your damn kerchief. He's not even doing anything, not even looking at you! He's still got that empty bucket in his free hand, the one that he most definitely used to splash water on your face just minutes ago. You could use some water now that you've swapped spit with his decapitated head. Oh right, everyone just saw you do that. Oh god, oh god, oh cheese and crackers what are you supposed to do?

You brain is spazzing out and you don't know how to stop it.

Look at Jane dammit!

Yes, she's the picture of grace and serenity. Once again you find yourself utterly grateful to the heavens that she is just a good platonic friend. You're too frazzled to realize that she's been twisting her hands nervously and fidgeting for quite some time. Nope.

Golly you are one lucky fellow to have such a great friend like Jane! One you can confide in for sure. One who-

"Jake, I like you."

Oh fiddlesticks...

"Like you as in more than a friend. I have feelings for you. I really do. I tried to say it earlier but couldn't manage so now I'm saying it. I'm not asking you for anything, there's a lot of adventure around and I just believed that it'd be fair to be honest with you after you trusted me."

You are flabbergasted. In the corner of your eye you can see that Roxy is shocked and Dirk has turned his head just slightly towards you two. You think you see his eyebrow quirked.

Here come the sweats.

"Oh, um, well Jane! I am just completely flattered! Takes a brave and wickedly admirable woman to have the sort of gumption it takes to admit such feelings!"

Your mouth is kind of running like it always does when your brain cannot keep up.

Jane blushes, taking your words as a compliment. "I thought you'd say something like that."

Your mouth is dry. What else are you supposed to say now? I fancy you as well?

Oh damn it. You cannot believe yourself. Just moments ago you were admitting that Jane Crocker should be the apple of your eye. You want so much to tell her that you are taken aback by how pretty she looks and how sweet her voice sounds in person.

All those things are true and yet your fight or flight instincts are telling you to hightail it out of here.

"Mr. and Mrs. Robins, I hate to break up the proposal but there's a volcano spewing lava and those are not the sick burns that I planned for our first meeting."

Roxy takes the opportunity to grab Jane by the arm. "Omg Janey! I can't believe you did that!" you hear her say before dragging her farther away.

"Right, very correct you are Strider! Not the place or time at all for such matters, we've got pressing issues and such to-"

Dirk tilts his head and you can see him roll his eyes. Bright golden eyes. Not at all striking you as something absolutely magnificent.

"Relax, bro."

You nod stiffly. After all the things that have just occurred- Flying, falling, buckets of water, kissing a corpse's head, and Jane's brazen confession- there is only one echoing thought that you can comprehend in the blurry stream that is your shaky conscious mind as you watch Dirk's head rise up and turn away, the golden eyes gone.

I think I may fancy you