Davetana may sound totally random, but let me explain.

Firstly, this isn't really a romance. It's a friendship.
I kind of figured that Dave and Santana would get each other better than anyone else, because their situations are so similar.
So here we are.
Don't knock it until you've tried it.

Anyways, reviews would be just peachy :)

And, as usual, I don't own anything blah blah blah.


The McKinley High Closet Case Alliance

"Karofsky?"

Dave looked up, startled, and quickly wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"What the hell to you want, Hopez?"

Santana narrowed her eyes and folded her arms.

"I heard a weird noise coming from in here," she said, sounding bored. "Kind of like someone crying. So I came to investigate because I'm in no rush to go home. And I end up walking in on you curled up on the floor and sobbing like a girl."

Dave frowned and looked at the floor, unconsciously rubbing his eyes again.

"Go away," he muttered.

"Or what?" Santana scoffed. "You're going to make me transfer to a different school?"

"Just... just leave me alone," Dave whispered, feeling choked up again.

Santana looked at him suspiciously. "I only want to know why you're sitting alone in the guys' locker room, weeping over a wedding cake topper. Sorry if that seems insensitive."

Dave quickly put the cake topper back in his jacket pocket. "It is kind of insensitive, actually."

Santana just shrugged and sat down on the bench opposite Dave, flipping her dark hair out of her face.

"I'm not a very sensitive person," she said, crossing her legs and inspecting her fingernails. "So are you going to tell me what's up with you now?"

"No," said Dave, glaring at her.

"Oh, come on," she insisted.

"No."

"Spill, Karofsky."

"No."

"I won't tell anyone."

Dave snorted. "Yeah right. You're a total gossip. It'll be all over school by tomorrow."

"True," she said nonchalantly. "But I don't actually give a shit about your life or your feelings or whatever, Porky, so you may as well just say it. I probably won't remember it anyway."

Dave didn't say anything. He just carried on staring miserably at the floor. Santana huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Come on," she said, trying her best to sound nicer. "It might make you feel better."

"No, it won't," Dave said gruffly. "And you wouldn't get it anyway."

"Try me," she said. "I'll tell you my problems if you tell me yours. Who knows? We might actually be able to help each other out."

"Please," he scoffed bitterly. "Like any of your dumb little problems are as bad as mine. You're not living a freaking lie, you didn't make the love of your life transfer..."

He'd been grumbling more to himself, but abruptly stopped talking when he realised what he'd said. Santana's eyes got wider and she stared at him in complete shock.

"Oh my God," she gasped. "You don't mean...? You're... you're talking about Kurt, aren't you?"

Dave didn't say anything, but he didn't really need to. The look on his face said it all. Suddenly Santana burst out laughing, and only stopped when she noticed the filthy look Dave was giving her.

"It's not funny," he said seriously.

"It's kind of funny," she giggled.

"Shut it, Hopez!" Dave cried angrily. "It's not funny, it's fucking terrible!"

"Okay, okay, calm down, Porky," she said, smirking still. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

Dave gave her a meaningful look.

"Alright, maybe is that bad," Santana said. "I just think it's ironic, that's all. The big homophobic bully, in love with the guy he was bullying for being gay. You can't blame me for laughing."

Dave just shook his head and gave her a dirty look. "Y'know you're really not helping, Hopez. I shouldn't have said anything to you. You're just going to make fun of me. Or threaten to tell everyone."

"Actually, I'm not," she said. "Although both those options do sound like fun... but no. I'm going to be nice for change. Because I get it."

"What?" Dave said incredulously.

"I understand where you're coming from," she said with a shrug.

"No, you don't," he scoffed. "How can you possibly get this?"

"I'm just going to throw a couple of examples in the air," she said, feeling a little exasperated. "I'm guessing that whatever feelings you have for Kurt scared the crap out of you, so rather than try and deal with it you did the opposite. You tried to act normal and just like everyone else. And none of the other jocks liked Kurt and they all treated him like shit, so you did too just so you could fit in, and inadvertently made the love of your life hate your guts and move to a different school. Am I right?"

Dave looked at Santana with almost comically wide eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was like she was inside his head or something.

"How did you know that?" he said quietly.

She shrugged and frowned a little. "Like a said. I get it. Although I don't get the whole wedding cake topper thing."

Dave sighed and took the cake topper out of his pocket again, holding it as delicately as if it was made of particularly fragile glass.

"I stole it from Kurt," he said, feeling a little ashamed.

"You mean right before he got you suspended and he left McKinley?" said Santana, narrowing her eyes. "You know, I heard that apparently you could've been kicked out of this place permanently because you threatened to kill him for some reason."

"I didn't mean it!" Dave cried. "I was just scared. I didn't want him to tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what exactly?"

Dave hesitated. "Tell anyone that... that I... I kissed him."

It was the first time he'd ever admitted that out loud. Santana raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"You kissed him?" she said disbelievingly. "When did this happen?"

"A couple weeks before he left," said Dave, his insides squirming as he recalled it. "We were fighting in here because I shoved him into a locker and I guess it just finally pushed him over the edge. He was yelling all this stuff at me, like that I couldn't punch the gay out of him and I was just a scared little boy and stuff. And then... I don't even know why I did it. I think I was just caught up in the moment or something. But I kissed him. And I don't think I've ever seen him look so terrified. And then Kurt brought this guy to talk to me. Some guy from Dalton, I guess they were friends. He was telling me that he wanted to help and that I wasn't alone. I probably should've listened to him, but I didn't want to hear it. It would be like admitting something had happened, and I just wanted to forget it. But I can't."

"I know which guy you're talking about actually," said Santana. "His name's Blaine... something. He's in a rival Glee Club, and I heard him and Kurt are actually dating now."

"Of course they are..." he said bitterly.

"I don't get what you're so bummed about. You never had a shot with him anyway."

Dave glared at Santana. "Wow, thanks. You're really good a cheering people up. I feel so much better."

Santana shrugged. "I'm just being honest. I mean, you only really have yourself to blame. If you hadn't been such an asshole, Kurt wouldn't have transferred to Dalton, and he wouldn't be making out with that smoking hot Blaine guy right now. If you'd just been open and honest in the first place then you wouldn't be the bad guy in all this. Trust me, there are some things that you really shouldn't leave until the last minute to say."

She looked sadly at the floor, and Dave gave her a questioning look.

"So what are your problems then?" he asked.

She looked up, startled, and then glowered at him. "I don't talk about feelings and emotions and all that crap."

"You made me tell you everything. And you said you'd tell me your problems if I told you mine." He smiled at her encouragingly. "Come on, it might make you feel better. I just want to know why you get what I'm going through so much."

Santana sighed. "I get it because... I'm going through it too. Sort of."

Dave didn't say anything. He just looked at her expectantly as she bit her lip.

"I'm in love with my best friend," she whispered.

"You mean Brittany?" said Dave. "Dumb Brittany?"

Santana nodded.

"But isn't she dating that wheelchair kid?"

Santana nodded again, frowning bitterly.

"The crazy thing is that she loves me too," she said quietly. "She probably has for a while. We've been hooking up for ages but I always acted like it wasn't serious. It's just a bit of fun. Sex isn't dating. We're not cheating on our boyfriends because the plumbing's different. I'd never let her talk about feelings and stuff because it all just scared the hell out of me. I think that's why she's so into Artie. They talk about stuff. So when I finally just said it... she wouldn't break up with him. She loves me and she knows how much I need her, but... I left it too late and... and now everything's just fucked up..."

Santana started to cry before she could stop herself. Dave scrambled off the floor and sat on the bench next to her, wrapping a comforting arm around her.

"Hey, it's okay," he said soothingly as she sobbed. He rubbed her back and let her cry for a while.

"Maybe things would be better if I was braver," she whispered, wiping the tears off her face. "I would have told her how I felt straight away if... if it wasn't for the fear. Because how know exactly how I'd get treated in this stupid school if everyone knew I had feelings for a girl."

"Same," said Dave sadly. "I try to act like this big, tough guy, but I'm terrified on the inside. Everything's so set in stone in this place. Try to be different – try to be yourself – and you either get dragged back down or treated like shit. I don't blame Kurt for getting out of here. I mean, I feel like a total bastard for making him leave, but I'd run away from here too if I could. If everything was different here... who knows? You and Brittany would totally be together, that's for sure."

Santana smiled – genuinely smiled – even though there were still tears in her eyes.

"You and Kurt might have gotten together too," she said. "If things were different. Underneath that bullying jackass facade, you're actually quite a nice person."

Dave chuckled, holding her tighter. "Thanks. Underneath that snarky bitch facade, you quite a nice person too."

The both laughed a little. Santana rested her head on Dave's shoulder and they held each other for a while in a comfortable silence.

"There's an unhealthy amount of pathetic going on in this room right now," Santana suddenly said. "But it's nice to know I'm not completely alone on this planet. Thanks, Porky."

"You're welcome," said Dave. "But can you stop calling me that? I thought we were cool now."

Santana lifted her head off Dave's shoulder and smiled at him. "Sure thing, closet case."

He smiled back at her. "Thanks, lesbo."

They looked at each other for a while, right into each other's eyes, before Santana pulled Dave into a soft kiss. It only lasted a few seconds, but when they separated they both had slightly disappointed frowns on their faces.

"Still gay?" asked Santana.

"Yeah," Dave nodded.

"Me too," she sighed.

"Maybe we should just be friends."

"I can't really be just friends with someone I've already kissed. Will you settle for being each other's beard?"

"I could live with that."

They both stood up, wiping their eyes and trying to compose themselves. Neither wanted to look as if they'd just been crying.

"I think we should keep this little pity party to ourselves," said Santana.

"Yeah," said Dave. "What happened in here should just... stay in here."

"Good," Santana smiled. "Because I'm about to hug you now and I'm pretty sure the whole Glee Club would stop talking to me if they knew I did this willingly."

They both laughed, before pulling each other into a long, tight hug. The next day Dave was walking down the hall with Azimio when he saw Santana walking towards him. She caught his eye and they smirked at each other.

"Hey, Porky," she said as she walked past him.

"Sup, Hopez," he replied.

He looked over his shoulder to see her turn, blow him a kiss and wink at him before walking away, and he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. Azimio looked understandably confused.

"Are y'all like, together now or somethin'?" he said.

Dave shrugged. "Something like that."


Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers :)
Chuck some reviews at me if you did. Or even if you didn't. Whatever.

xxx