AN: Don't own the characters from Once Upon a Time or The Paper Bag Princess.
Once Upon a Paper Bag Princess
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful princess named Emma; she had long blonde hair and pretty hazel eyes. She lived in the Royal Castle with her parents Snow White and David and baby brother Neal. She had expensive princess clothes and jewellery, and her favourite, a beautiful princess crown. When she was old enough, she was going to marry a prince named Killian.
Unfortunately while her parents had taken her brother to visit Grandma Ruth's farm, a black scaled dragon with angry purple eyes and dark metallic looking spikes smashed her castle, burned all her fancy clothes, jewellery and her favorite crown with her fiery hot breath, and carried off poor Prince Killian for a snack.
Emma decided she wasn't going to let Killian die and chose to chase the dragon and get Killian back. But first she had to find something to wear since her beautiful white feathery, swan like dress had become damaged and smelled strongly of dragon's breath. Ick, she thought to herself, dragon's breath.
Hoping that the dragon hadn't ruined everything, she took off and looked everywhere for something to wear to replace her dress, but unfortunately the only thing she could find that was not charred or stinky was a brown paper bag that barely made it to her knees. With no other choice, Emma put on the paper bag and followed the dragon's trail.
The dragon's path was easy to follow, because she had left a trail of burnt forests' and horses' bones. It was such a dragon thing to do.
Finally, Emma came to a cave with a large door that had a huge bronze dragon knocker on it. She took hold of the bronze knocker and banged on the wooden door. The dragon stuck out her nose of the door and said, "Well, a princess! I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow."
She slammed the door so fast that Emma almost got her button nose caught.
Emma grabbed the knocker and banged on the door again, this time hoping for a better reception from the dragon. She really wanted to save the day since Prince Killian seemed like such a jerk for saying that princesses couldn't save the day and that it was a prince's job to save the princess.
The dragon stuck her warm, dark snout out of the door and said in an annoyed voice, "Go away. I love to eat princesses, but I have already eaten almost a whole castle today. I am a very busy dragon. Come back tomorrow."
"Wait," shouted Emma. "Is it true that you are the smartest and fiercest dragon in the whole world?" she asked grinning, knowing it probably wasn't true.
"Yes," said the dragon with a trace of pride.
"Is it true, then" said Emma, "that you can burn up to ten large forests with your fiery hot breath at once?" as she raised a perfectly perfect eyebrow.
"Oh, yes," replied the dragon, and she took a huge, deep breath and breathed out so much red hot fire that she burnt up fifty forests.
"Fantastic," said Emma, and the dragon hearing what sounded like a challenge in the young princess' voice, took another huge fiery breath and breathed out so much red hot fire that she burnt up one hundred forests.
"Magnificent, Dragon," said Emma smiling. Feeling absolutely smug, the dragon took another huge breath, but this time nothing came out. With a small puff of grey smoke, the dragon didn't even have enough fire left to cook a delicious meatball even if she wanted to. Before the dragon could feel sorry for herself, Emma went on to ask a question about the dragon's ability to fly.
Emma said, "Dragon is it true that you can fly around the world in just ten seconds?"
"Why, yes," said the dragon, and jumped up and flew all the way around the world in just ten seconds, leaving streaks of cloud behind her as she went.
She was very tired when she got back, but Emma shouted, "Fantastic, do it again!"
Just as her hair settled back down over her shoulders, the dragon jumped up and flew around the whole world in just twenty seconds.
When she got back she was too tired to talk, and she lay down and went straight to sleep.
Emma whispered softly, "Hey, dragon." The dragon didn't move at all.
She lifted up the dragon's ear and put her head right inside. She shouted as loud as she could, "Hey, dragon!"
The dragon was so tired she didn't even move. She had become too cozy on the warm, grassy floor outside her stone cave.
Emma walked right over the dragon and opened the door to the large dry cave.
There was Prince Killian, looking as dashing as ever. He looked at her and said, "Emma, you are a mess! You smell like ashes and dragon breath, your hair is all tangled and you are wearing a dirty old paper bag. Come back when you are dressed like a real princess."
"Killian," said Emma trying to sound as nice as she possibly could to the boy standing in front of her, "your clothes are really pretty and your hair is very neat. You look like a real prince, but you are a bum."
Killian looked at Emma as if she had been speaking another language; all he had wanted was his beautiful princess back. Even if she was wearing that ugly swan-like dress and a tiara that didn't match his clothing, he wanted what he had before.
"Clearly this dragon made you show your true colours and any marriage between us will never work more than I though. Goodbye Killian, I do hope you can find a girl with all the nice things you want her to have to be happy."
And with that, she turned around, tossed her tangled hair over her shoulder and walked off in to the sunset leaving sad and pathetic looking Killian behind. The two of them didn't live happily ever after all.
The End.
