1. Lesson No. 1: An Escape
Once I was into the forest, there I sat on a log, reciting my vows for the wedding rehearsal:
'With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never empty for I will be your wine.'
Next I snapped off a stick from an oak tree and used it as a candle.
'With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.
With this ring, I ask you...'
Before I was going to place my ring on a root, I said to myself, 'Hmm, maybe I should just see if there is no dead body inside.' And so I grabbed a shovel and dug through the earth until I ended up near the root hairs. There I saw no corpse lying under the ground. I was then relieved because then I would've married a dead woman. 'Hmm, no dead body,' I remarked.
After I placed the soil back into the earth, I continued on:
'With this ring, I ask you to be mine.'
I placed my ring onto the root. And so as quickly as I could, hoping that the whole thing being a real root was just a trick, I grabbed my ring away from it. Suddenly, I felt the breeze flushing over my face. Then I overheard some cooing as if from a crow. I twisted my head around to see that it was a crow. More than one actually. They were all staring down at me like they were trying to warn me about something.
'What is it, crows?' I asked.
Before one of them were to respond a coo, I faced the root again. It changed, like it was trying to grab me. I turned back to the crows.
'Oh, I see what ye all mean,' I said. Before the root managed to grab hold of my arm, I lodged backwards away from it. 'Hah! You missed me, root.'
'Root?' came a voice from the earth. 'This is no root. It is my skeletal arm.'
Then something started rising from the ground. It was a body, with a great white gown. Its arm and leg were skeletal, its rib cage was shown and it had a torn cheek. Its hair was dark.
'And now, we're close to being married,' said the corpse quietly.
'Oh, no we're not!' I retorted, turning around and running away.
'Darling!' the Corpse Bride called. 'Where are you going? Come back!'
'Never!' I called back.
So there I was, being chased by a dead person. I followed my path to get back to my street of Dardanup (this is in Australia just to tell you). Where I was located was the lake in Gwelup. When I was running up a hill, I tripped over the edge and rolled down. After moments, I ended up near a sign containing the map of the lake. Then my attention turned back to the Corpse Bride. I didn't know how she got there so fast. All I saw her do was march. So I climbed back onto my feet and then rushed down my escape path.
As I was out of bounds from the lake, I stopped to see whether the corpse was still after me. Nobody there. I was to see if she were behind me once I turned around. Nobody there either.
'Good,' I remarked to myself.
And so I headed home. When I got home, I started packing up all my equipment and clothes. I was going to move away ... far away - where she would not find me.
My packing up down, though I was upstairs in my bedroom doing the last of it, I headed out of my bedroom, hauling the suitcase behind me. Before I headed downstairs, I spotted the Corpse Bride climbing up my balcony. I screamed frightfully and hurried downstairs, tripping over and hurting myself because of my suitcase.
'Ow,' I muttered. 'The pain.'
The slide-doors, both fly-way and glass, slid open quickly and loudly. I had sensed the bride wandering around my upstairs room. So I got up from the ground, limping as I did so, then I hobbled all the way from the hallway to my garage where my car was located. It was a red Volkswagen Beetle. I chucked my suitcase at the back, then jumped into my driver's seat to start the engine.
Suddenly, I heard the voice of the Corpse Bride call, 'Darling! Where are you?'
There was no time to waste; I backed out my car, checking to see if there were any surroundings. Immediately, I saw my bicycle lying on the driveway. I shrugged heavily and climbed out of my car to remove the bike. I chucked it onto my lawn. Who really cared if it was going to get stolen? Before I climbed back into my car, I heard, 'There you are.'
I gasped with fright to spot that dead body marching towards me.
'No! Not you!' I howled.
So I climbed into the car and started my engine. Shockingly, the door was being opened. I tried to close it back but the strength of the hauler was too powerful. The bony arm tried to reach out for me until I managed to shut the door. SNAP! The Corpse Bride's arm was all that remained in the car. I quickly locked the door so she would not open it up again. Actually, I locked all the doors on my car with the master switch - in case she were able to go anywhere else in there.
'Darling!' the Corpse Bride called sarcastically. 'Why are you doing this?'
'Because I am still alive, in case you had not noticed!' I said.
And, as fast as I could, I zoomed out of the driveway and out through the street. I slowed down while I was driving through public, in case the police would see me. That bony arm was starting to get pretty annoying right now. So I decided to chuck it out the window, hoping the dead woman would collect it mysteriously.
So then I arrived at the airport, the corpse still not after me. I was going to Melbourne to stay as far away as possible. During the whole flight, I noticed a few crows following the plane. Maybe they were trying to warn me again. So then I was getting prepared for my next mission, in case the Corpse Bride was onto me at the moment.
