Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, Harry Potter, Thirteen Reasons Why or anything else you recognize.
Warning: Unrelated Wincest. Language. Sexual Abuse (background). Maybe some violence. Temporary Main Character Death
AN: Wincest will always be my OTP, so I can't help but write this. If you do NOT like the idea of two brothers in a romantic relationship stop reading now! But in this case, Sam and Dean are NOT related, so that may help a little, if not oh well.
I really loved the book Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher (which you should check out, because it's a wonderful book). I read it in high school, and it became one of my favorite books. The theme really hits home, and I wanted to put it together with SPN and HP. This will take place around book four. The events of book four are happening behind scenes, so it's more about Sam and his letters than the book. I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Prologue:
Sam opened his eyes, and peered down at the boy who had his arms wrapped around him. He groaned inwardly. He hated it when he was made to sleep with him. Sam couldn't remember the last time he was able to sleep in his own bed. No matter what he had to get out of bed, because sadly tonight was the night. He winced as he moved. The night before was full of painful sex. It's been a long time since he was able to call it making love. He accidently clenched his ass, and he bit back a heart wrenching cry. He hurt so much.
He eventually was able to untangle himself from his boyfriend's arms and got out of bed. He quickly but quietly got dressed in his robes. He grabbed his wand, and the copy of the Marauder's Map that he had made when he stole the original from Harry Potter. He didn't want to, but he needed it so he could do what he needed to do for this night. It had proven very useful when he wanted to avoid someone. Sam was ashamed to admit that he had to use the map many times in the past couple of months.
He looked around, and wiped away a few tears that escaped. He didn't want to do this, but he couldn't keep going on like he was. Sam made his way out of the room. Why couldn't he have been put in a different house? If he had then maybe he wouldn't be doing what he was doing now. Maybe he would've been able to enjoy his time here at school. Maybe then he wouldn't alone.
Making his way down to the common room, he took a deep breath before exiting. He checked the map and seeing that no one was around, he left. A small part of him was disappointed that on this night of all nights, he didn't run into anyone. If he were honest with himself, coming to different areas he purposely tried to run into a teacher, but each time he went close to one they would go in the opposite direction. He sighed in defeat. After the third teacher, he finally gave up. He figured this was a sign that he really was supposed to do this. Why couldn't there be at least someone that could save him from what he was about to do?
Finally coming up to the Astronomy Tower, he slowly made his way to the railing. He looked down and knew instantly that he would die from this height. He never really had any doubt, but this only confirmed it. Since he came to the decision to do this, he found himself picturing his fall all that much more. Even though he was up here and ready to do it, was it wrong that he felt sad about it?
His vision began to get blurry, and he fell to his knees. Sam didn't want to do this at all. Regardless if tonight was the night, he was still scared. All he wanted was for the pain to stop. He couldn't keep going like this. There was no way that he would be able to go on another three and a half years here with the same people. The same people that has made his life miserable, abandoned him, and had forgotten about him.
He slowly got to his feet, and leaned over the railing. He was so sorry that it had come to this, but there was nothing left for him. He couldn't go to his best friend, because he was in Gryffindor and there wasn't any way he could get in there to talk to him. Not even during the day, because they're both so busy with school and Sam's boyfriend never lets him go anywhere that isn't with him. Sam learned his lesson the last time that he went against what his boyfriend told him.
Sam climbed over the railing slowly. He wasn't about to fall before he was even ready. He faced the inside of the tower, and stared at the entrance. He couldn't deny that he was wishing that someone... anyone would come up here and stop him. He wanted someone to show that he was worth saving. No, that wasn't entirely true. His boyfriend would save him, but only to continue to hurt him.
He chuckled. It was funny, because the guy that he was dating wasn't the one that he truly loved or even wanted to be with. He was in love with someone else, but he was two years older than him and didn't even know he existed. He only went out with his boyfriend, because he was the first one to ever show any interest in him. Sam never had that, and he just wanted to be loved or wanted. He scoffed. A lot of good that was.
Sam didn't want to do this. In no way, shape or form did he want this, but he didn't know what else to do. He tried to get help, but those he asked help from were too busy. Sam couldn't just force them to help... everyone had their own problems. It's not like he was anything special.
He knew what the other students were going to think when they found out. Sam would be called a coward, weak or selfish, but he didn't feel that way at all. Okay, that's not true. He did feel weak for not being able to fight back. He felt weak that he couldn't even ask his best friend for help. He didn't feel like a coward though, because he felt that it took a lot of courage to take a life... especially your own.
The only thing he would hate about this whole situation is the fact that the one that he was in love with would see him the same way as the others.
Sam held up his letters that had taken two weeks to write. It would've been sooner, but it was hard to do it when he couldn't get away from his boyfriend. He took out his wand and whispered a spell. With a simple tap to the envelopes, the letters vanished. He made sure that the letters would go to someone who was very important to him. He had hoped that his letters would be more than a simple suicide note.
As soon as the letters were gone, he knew there was no turning back. The one who had recieved his letters wouldn't even see them until the morning. So, no one was going to come stop him. No one would care about the loss of a Slytherin. To the other houses, it would only mean that there was one less dark wizard in the world.
Sam bowed his head, and he prayed that he wouldn't go to Hell for this. He hoped that God would believe that he had suffered enough. He spread his arms and when one last single tear slipped down, he leaned back. As he was falling to his death, he prayed that some good would come from his letters.
He closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you, Dean."
Then... the world went dark.
AN: Thoughts? I don't think suicide is the answer. If you or anyone you know is having these issues, please speak up. Anyway, reviews are not necessary for me to finish the story, but they are welcomed. I do get a lot of ideas on the reviews you all post. Until next time. -Kauri510
