There was a part of me that wanted to believe everything I have ever known was a lie. Life wasn't the pristine existence I had once known – it was filled with destruction and hatred, leaving only enough mercy for people to get by, and enough violence to suit God's own narcissistic amusement. I figured that living would be so much more than this, and that a life with only greed and power would never suit someone like me.
Too bad it took a simple, harmless little game to make the fire grow into something sinful.
Sin.
The word shook me like a thunderous crash, rattling my bones and trying to break any kind of sanity that remained. I hungered for it, I desperately needed it – even when it came to the rituals, the blood smeared on our faces. All the while I knew it wasn't civilized, it wasn't what was expected of us, but the thin line between what was right and wrong had been shifted. Governing ourselves was bound to lead to chaos, anyways, so what was the point of trying to hide it?
Pigs have been slaughtered, the forest was ablaze with the sounds of our rapture, nothing could subdue us. We were the kings to an unholy paradise, the rulers of the Hell we've created. I would sit and watch as my fellow schoolboys would chant and praise, and they would raise their hands with every bit of dignity that was in their blood. They were not ashamed, they were not abashed in their desires, and therefore, they were exactly like me.
I was the Chief to these maddened parasites, who continued to suck out all that was left of rationality.
"Dance, dance for the Beast!" I would cry, watching the moon fall behind the crashes of the waves, not wanting to look upon us anymore. Howls and screams would respond, and the silhouettes in the darkness would move, never breaking from the beat of the flames. Their red and green faces blended together, as a true tribe should, and they never stopped. They never stopped crying out for their precious Beast.
Except for him.
He was the one that I tried to remove from my memories, who continued to linger in every dream that occurred to me. His green eyes penetrated me, scanning me for any piece of hope that he could find, but he would find none. After all, he was the only one of his kind left – the only one who didn't realize the truth. Sin consumes us.
While we all danced, he stood within the back of the shorelines, his eyes narrowed and his fair skin radiant in the moonlight. He didn't want to be a part of our glorious ritual, all he could do was stand there, watching me, waiting for me to chase him down, like the hunter I was already becoming.
He wondered if he, like me, could ever be more than just sinful.
I broke away from the rest of them, coming through the crowd and their vibrant voices. Adrenaline flooded through my veins at knowing that I was the one who had began this – dammit, how it felt good to start a revolution, especially considering that I was going against him of all people. The one person who, before, I was determined to equal myself to.
Seeing him closer, I watched as Ralph never left his eyes on me, as though I was becoming the pig trapped in the vines. I wondered if he wanted me dead, if he wanted to blame me for all the trouble I've caused.
"You're here," I eventually whispered, staring right through those orbs that I couldn't understand. What was he thinking in that head of his? He turned his head slightly to see the other boys who continued to dance, and he scoffed.
"Look at them, your tribe...is this what you've always wanted, Jack? To push all of them to the point where they aren't sure just who they are anymore?"
There grew a stillness between the both of us after he said that, a silence that was only overshadowed by the crackling cries behind us. I could look at Ralph and see that, behind those strong and aggressive eyes of his, there was fear. Fear was growing inside of him, which led me to wonder just how long he had been feeling this way, and if I was the one who triggered it.
"Are you even...the same as you were before?" Ralph didn't hesitate to step him and press a finger closely to my cheek, rubbing off some of the red paint in the process. He let his eyes hold a cold gaze towards it, almost as though he wished he hadn't, and he quickly looked at me again. This time, it seemed as though he begged me for something – an explanation? To what? To becoming someone better, greater?
"If anyone has changed, it's you, Ralph." I replied, not attempting to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "You can't see what I'm doing for the lot of us...I'm making everything better."
"Is this better?" His cries were sharp as he raised himself to where our faces were only inches apart. "Is descending into brutality, killing just for the sake of blood spilling on the ground...how could something like that possibly be better, Jack?"
I had never seen him like this, where anger completely overtook him, and shifted him into a state of hysteria. His eyes turned darker, and the air between us grew thinner and hotter, like the dancing the of the flames. He blamed me for everything, just as he always had...why did he continue to treat me like I was nothing to him?
Was I nothing to him?
Ralph turned on his heels and began to fled back into the forest, the night sky leaving his shadows behind. I watched him run into the forest, and while my feet began to move in that same direction, I managed to hold myself back.
I told myself he would come back and understand that I was doing something right for the both of us.
It had to be right.
We were over the edge, in a fit of rage and desire, never stopping to look at our own morbid reflections.
There was only one more hunt that were pursued, running after him in a state of need greater than any pig or swine. The idea of warm, human flesh was suiting to us, so we ran, deeper and deeper into the darkest parts of the forest. He continued to flee, trying to catch himself and remind himself that , maybe, God was on his side.
Little did he knew that God didn't watch, save, or protect anyone. The only one that truly saw everything was the Beast.
I had almost killed him.
He was so close to my clutching fingers, so close to the point where I could hear his last breathing prayer. I would watch him die before me, slowly to see the misery in his eyes, and once he was gone, there would be nobody left to defy me or my tribe. Some of the other boys – savages, as the naval officer had bluntly put it before – were already through with the hallucination that life on the island was merely a game. It was a good round, they would call it, before they carried on having fun and waiting to see their parents again.
Still, I was close to ending another human life, and that alone wouldn't be easy to forget.
I shuddered in my cot, waiting for the sickening feeling to go away, but I knew that deep down, it would always remain with me.
Such as sin.
"Do you think that we will ever get off this island?"
I glanced up at the sound of his voice and watched as he sat beside me, his eyes popping with curious bewilderment. His blonde hair blew lightly in the breeze, and his white shirt stuck against his skin in a matter of sweat and labor. Ralph certainly did come by at the most random of times.
"What makes you think we wouldn't?" I laughed at the pouting of his lower lip, before watching as he brought his knees to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs.
"It's just that I have a feeling that we might be here for a long time. I'm sure my father will come soon, but...Jack, what if he doesn't come for a while, and we will be stuck here for weeks, months even?"
There was a frightening tone in his voice I had never heard before, a vulnerability that I had never imagined Ralph showing. I placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled towards him.
"Then I guess we should make the most of the time we have here."
The look Ralph gave me afterwards, the simple smile and gleam of his eyes, was enough for me to be sure that we would get off this island. Regardless of how things turned out, Ralph and I would never give up hope.
Even if it killed the both of us.
They prescribed me medication, calling me batty and telling me I should lay my head down.
Every time I closed my eyes, the horrendous eyes of the pig would return to me, blazing red and black. I would howl and scream, waking up and trying to cry out to the Beast to save me from this terrible Hell I was in. Doctors and nurses would come into my room and pin me down to where I was resting, trying to soothe me with 'God's graceful hymns,' before, eventually, I would fall back into a painful slumber, enduring the fires of the rituals and the paint that poisoned our faces.
Sin corrupted us, tore us from limb and limb and tried to suffocate us with everything it had. Yet, it would never leave those who invited it – never.
A/N - Yeah so originally this was going to be a Jalph one-shot but I changed my mind, decided to make it more about Jack's decent into savagery :D So, leave any comments or feedback in a review, or if you liked it, tell me what you think! I really appreciate your guy's opinions :)
Thanks for reading!
