The Problem with Apple Pie

A Sugar High Fic!

Let me introduce to you Z and Kai! They are my real life pals (along with Sansele)! Kai is a complete Wushu (Chinese fighting) FREAK and Z is our reviewer… both of them have one very interesting habit. They stalk their seniors! And we're all in a girls school… -_-;;;

I was writing a Fushigi Yuugi email to annoy them… (Daijoubu! Ele-chan and me will convert them to Fushigi Yuugi fandom soon…*evil laugh*) and it kinda…came out like this. ^^;;;

Did I mention Z has abnormally red cheeks? It's like she put blusher onto them… which she doesn't. But her cheeks are the same colour as an apple pie…hence a rather weird nickname… APPLE PIE!!! And she's in the school band. And she plays the Saxophone. Which is very painful if you get hit by it.

Now! Onto the fic!

The Problem with Apple Pie

:::::::::::::Starring:::::::::::::

In chibi mode…

Draconsis (me!) as Drac-chan!

Sansele as Ele-chan!

Z as Apple Pie-chan!

Kai as Kai-chan!

And the Seishi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And we have Nyan-Nyan narrating! In italics!

It's a another day in the Yuuki house…I cant say normal since when ever was a day in the Yuuki house normal? Answer: NEVER.

Miaka: I'm hungry. I want an apple pie!

Tamahome: Okie, I'll buy you an apple pie!

Tamahome paused while he though of how much an apple pie would cost. Then he remembered something!

Tamahome: What is an apple pie?

At this show of stupidity, the shichi seishi Chiriko appeared! Did I mention that since he's sooooooo smart, Taiitsukun gave him the job of the fairy of knowledge?

And he looks so kawaii in that pink frilly dress complete with wings and wand! All 100% Nyan-Nyan made of course!

Chiriko: I AM THE FAIRY OF KNOWLEDGE!!! ALL SHALL BOW DOWN TO MY SUPERIOR INTELLECT!

Right then, Drac-chan and Ele-chan popped into the room. Guess who they're looking for?

Drac-chan: Did anybody see Apple Pie-chan?

Tamahome: You're looking for it too?

Ele-chan: She, not it.

Tamahome: ~_~ Um.......okay......

So since the baka Tamahome did not know where Apple Pie is, Drac-chan and Ele-chan decided to leave him alone with Miaka and Chiriko the fairy of knowledge.

Chiriko: APPLE PIE!!!!! Noun. A consumable pastry dish made from white flour, chicken eggs, cow's milk and green apples and cinnamon.

Tamahome: What's pastry, what's flour, what's cinnamon and what's an apple?

Chiriko the fairy of knowledge was so shocked that he promptly had a heart attack and died. But he didn't tell Tamahome where or what was an Apple Pie! So Tamahome left Miaka on a park bench while he went to find someone who knew what an Apple Pie is.

So Tamahome continues on the quest for Miaka's apple pie...

Tamahome was walking past some bushes when he saw a round, red and yellow object lying on the ground. He knew apples were red, yellow and round, he decided it must be an apple and so he picked it up.

Tamahome: Is this an apple?

At that point in time, Suboshi jumped up from behind the bushes where he had been hiding. OOOOoooH! It turns out that what Tamahome picked up was a ryuseisui!

Suboshi: GOTCHA!!!!!! Unhand the ryuseisui!

But before Tamahome can respond, the other end of the ryuseisui whacks into him.

Tamahome: TEME!!!

So of course a fight broke out between Tamahome and Suboshi. But then…

REKKA SHINEN!!!!!!

Tamahome and Suboshi were burnt to a crisp!!! They turned around to find a very happy Drac-chan and Tasuki with the tessen!!!

And since Tamahome and Suboshi are nasty unforgiving brats…

Tamahome: SIC HIM!

((BIFF)) ((BANG)) ((KA-POW))

REKKA SHINEN!

Tasuki: *dusts himself off*

At that point in time, Tasuki saw the rabid fangirl Drac-chan standing next to him! So of course he…

Tasuki: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

So Tasuki ran away from Drac-chan, and since his power is speed he was soon very, very far away from poor Drac-chan. Then Tasuki saw Kouji!

Tasuki: Kouji!!!! Help!!! There's another hentai fic authoress chasing after me!

Kouji: Never fear! Kouji is here!!!!!!

A couple of Kouji fangirls swooned and fainted when they heard this, but Kouji didn't have time to say anything else as Drac-chan was hot on Tasuki's heels! So Kouji stood in the middle of the path while Tasuki ran away!

Drac-chan ran smack into Kouji, but that didn't make her happy as she wanted Tasuki! So she decided to get rid of Kouji…

Drac-chan: Ahhhhhh Kouji! Just the guy I wanted to see!

Kouji: *gulp*

Drac-chan whipped out her magic fic authoresses remote control, and she pressed the nice big button on top! And pretty portal opened up in the sky and…

Ele-chan and Kai-chan fell out! Kai-chan gave Drac-chan a flying kick for making her have such a rough landing!

Kai-chan: What you do that for? My seniors were in the same planet as me!

Just then, the smelly old Ashitare jumped out of the bushes! And since Kouji is a nasty violent bandit, he went…

Kouji: HI-YA!

…And butt kicked Ashitare to infinity and beyond! And since Ashitare is a ugly old smelly doggie, Taiitsukun decided it would be nice for him to die, and so he died!

Ashitare: Ugh *dies*

So now Kai-chan sees Kouji who saved her from the mean nasty old Ashitare!

Kai-chan: *sigh* My hero!

And since this is all a part of Drac-chan's evil plans…

Drac-chan: Success! ^_^V

Ele-chan: -_-;;;;;

Drac-chan: Kai-chan...if you let us know where Apple Pie is we'll catch Kouji and lock him up in a room for you! And very securely tied...

Kai-chan: she's in the palace.

Ele-chan: arigato

So Drac-chan and Ele-chan caught Kouji and locked him up in a room, very securely tied...

But Tamahome still hasent found an apple pie! And while we were looking at Drac-chan and the rest, we didn't look at Tamahome! So Tamahome had talked to Mitsukake without us! NUTS!!! But look where Tamahome is now…

Tamahome is in the kitchen in Miaka's house. Why? Because Mitsukake said that food is normally found in the kitchen, that's why!

Tamahome saw all the nice twisty knobs on the stove!

Tamahome: Hmmm.... does this do anything?

Tamahome turned on all the gas knobs, but he forgot to twist them back!

Tamahome: I guess not. Oh well... maybe Hotohori will know where I can get an apple pie!

Tamahome then skipped of to the Konan palace…but…back in the house…

…all the gas diffused throughout the house…

And then Chichiri decided to pay a visit to Tamahome and Miaka.

Chichiri: *outside, on doorstep* I wonder if Miaka-chan is home no da...

Since Chiri is a nice monk he pressed the doorbell!

((DINGGGGGGGG-

KKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!

))

But then Chiri got blown sky high because the doorbell was connected to the stove!!!!!

Did I mention that Boushin and Houki live next door to Tamahome and Miaka?

Boushin-chan: Mammy! Mammy! Uncle 'Chiri juz got blonwn up!

Houki: That's very nice dear...

So Tamahome went to the palace! And since Miaka-chan is a big baka of a miko, she didn't sit on the bench like he asked and went to the palace instead! So they are both in the Konan palace...

Tamahome: Miaka...I'm very sorry... but I've failed! I didn't find you an apple pie!

Drac-chan and Ele-chan came in!!!!!They have something for Tamahome!

Drac-chan: Tamahome! Here's your apple pie!

Drac-chan did her magic authoress clapping which is to clap your hands twice and then Apple Pie-chan came falling out of the sky!

And Apple Pie-chan fell straight into Tamahome's lap!

Miaka: *sees Tamahome with another girl* Wahhhhaaaaaaaahahah!

Miaka runs off crying, with Tamahome following her. Miaka however, trips on a rake and falls over the rake, spearing herself. Tamahome on seeing his koi dead falls onto another one of the nice sharp objects in the Konan palace.

Apple Pie-chan: Sheesh.

Apple Pie-chan then whacked Drac-chan and Ele-chan over the head with her sax! sAx you hentais!!! Apple pie-chan then went off to find Amiboshi!

Apple Pie-chan: Oh yeah. Tell my -whatshername- senior that our wedding is off. 'kay?

Nuriko: Another bis(exual)!!!!!!!

Apple pie-chan: You too?

Kai-chan: Me three!

Nuriko: Hey! Let's start a bis club!

Apple pie n Kai: OKAY!

So Tamahome didn't find his apple pie for Miaka but it's useless to find one anyway as Miaka is dead! So is Chiriko, Ashitare, Chichiri, Tamahome and Miaka!!!

~OWARI~

Um…..minna…. this is the first time I was really, really, really mean to the seishi…but if I don't post another fanfiction in the next month, and the Singapore papers have something about a 14-year-old brutally murdered with a shakujou, saxophone and sword, MY MURDERERS ARE SANSELE AND Z AND KAI!!!!!!!

And now…anybody know a nice place to hide?

Anyone???

ANYONE!?!?