"Crystal Tears"
* * * * *
You told me once,
I was a friend,
You told me once,
It'd never end.
Though I try to
Keep you near,
I'll never stop
These Crystal Tears.
* * *
Chapter One...
The smile on his face was bright and vivid. Tattooed in her memory where she'd never forget it. Never. Not as long as she could ever live. But it was all that she had left of him. There had once been a time when Hermione had led a life that contained no doubt as to what their futures would hold. Everything had been perfect. Of course at the time, nothing had seemed perfect, infact it seemed far from it... but now, now everything was a wreck. Life was chaos. It wasn't until now that she realised what she had had. Because as they say, you never know what you've got until it's gone.
That was a most accurate statement. Because now Harry Potter was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. For awhile she'd hung onto the hopes that he'd return and that her mind was simply playing tricks on her. She'd prayed every night to God or to the Great Wizards above. She'd thought about him every second of every day. She'd even tried sending him telepathic messages. But over the course of the year, those seconds she'd thought of him, turned to every other minute and after that she only thought of him once every hour or so. After that, the total of time she'd spend thinking about him dwindled down to once a day. That was where she was currently at. She was afraid one day she might wake up and realise she hadn't thought about him for a whole month. And maybe she'd forget him forever.
No. She wouldn't allow that to happen. Harry was too important.
There were doubts as to whether he was even alive now. Hermione could still not believe nor forgive Dumbledore for letting Harry go like that. He was too young to die. He had so much ahead of him. So much to live for. Too many people loved him and cared about him. Too many people like Hermione. Why had Dumbledore let him just walk on out? To go and fight the Dark Lord? That wasn't Harry's job! He couldn't spend his whole lifetime defending the magical world. It wasn't fair! It was just not fair!
Hermione dawdled along the Hogwarts corridor and down a staircase. She barely paid attention to anything these days. Her grades had dropped to an average which was something nobody would ever have thought possible. She could hear somebody calling her faintly in the distance but she didn't turn around to listen, she just kept on walking.
Her feelings constantly fluctuated. Sometimes she would feel angry at herself for caring about Harry, other times she'd blame Dumbledore for letting him go, most times she just hated Harry for being Harry. The way she saw it, if he hadn't been there, she couldn't have... she couldn't have... she couldn't have fallen in love with him in the first place.
"Hermione! For heaven's sake, stop walking!" It was the familiar voice of Ron Weasley and he leapt right in her path making her stop or at least slow down to walk around him.
"What is it?" she snapped in the monotonous tone that she'd become far too accustomed to lately.
"Hermione, stop acting like a zombie. Snap out of this stupid trance!" Ron waved his hands in her face like she was some sort of psychopath.
"You don't understand," Hermione said quietly and managed to free herself from the strong grip he had on her shoulders and almost sprinting, disappeared out of his sight.
It was their seventh year. Harry should have been Head Boy. But because he wasn't here and possibly not even alive, Draco Malfoy had taken that position. It disgusted Hermione to think that Harry's own arch-enemy was now seen as one of the most popular boys in the school. It hadn't even been a year since Harry's departure but no one seemed to think about him anymore. Only Hermione. Students had dwelled on things for a little while but seeing as there had been no sign of Voldemort nor Harry, they'd given up and gone on with their lives as if everything was just normal.
Hermione reached a dead end of a corridor and had to lean against a wall, panting for breath. She vaguely looked around and realised she had never been in this corridor before. She didn't know where she was at all. How could she have suddenly become so disorientated?
The stone bricks against her back were cold and threatening and she quickly stood up straight, trying to shake off the feeling of sadness. Shivers ran down her spine and she went back in the direction she'd come in, running again, she didn't want to spend any more time alone in this eerie area of the castle.
She turned left where she was sure she'd come from but found the new corridor even scarier looking than the previous. The cold stone floors echoed every movement she made and the air was rapidly becoming cooler. After walking for a few more minutes, Hermione realised she was heading underground. She turned around again, this time feeling rather afraid. Panic began to set in and she spun around five times, like a lost puppy, and felt tears welling in her eyes.
"Hello?" she tried calling out. Her calls echoed off the walls but nobody returned them.
"Help!" she cried louder, feeling one of her heavy textbooks fall out of her arms and land with a noisy thump on the floor.
After the echo of that had subsided, she could not hear a thing. Except silence. She'd never in her whole life felt so alone and been in so much silence and she realised that you actually could hear silence. She was trying to take it all in and think logically when there was a sudden dull thud from somewhere behind her. She jumped a little before shrinking over to the side of the corridor even though she was aware that standing slightly to the left wouldn't help her dramatically if someone or something was there. She crouched down and listened again. There was another dull thump, this time closer.
She wondered whether it was someone there to help her but for some reason, deep inside, she knew she shouldn't suddenly jump out. For some reason, she knew that whoever or whatever was there was not just a teacher or a student at Hogwarts. It was something else.
There were three more thuds, each time getting closer. Hermione's breathing became louder and louder and she was surprised whoever was there couldn't hear her heartbeat for it was racing so quickly.
Finally, after what seemed like ages, there was another thud but then it grew quieter and then disappeared. Whatever had been there was now gone. Breathing a sigh of relief, Hermione's heartbeat returned to a more healthy range and she slowly stood up, realising the corners of her textbooks were slightly damp from the sweat on her palms.
"Ms Granger?" a voice alarmed her and she squeaked in reaction.
"Are you okay?" It was Professor Dumbledore. Hermione had always has the most respect for their Headmaster... that was until... She eyed him suspiciously and he shook his head. "You shouldn't be here."
Hermione nodded slowly. "I got lost," she admitted under her breath.
"Well if you'll follow me, I'll make sure you get 'un-lost'." Hesitantly Hermione followed the elderly man back and felt the air become more friendly and inviting. She hadn't wanted to follow him but she would have followed a Dementor if it meant she could escape from wherever she'd been. Once they'd reached a part of the school Hermione was familiar with, she opened her mouth to ask where exactly they'd been. She began to talk when she looked around and saw Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.
"Figures," she muttered before heading off to class which she'd already missed at least half of. But she didn't care. Classes were the last thing on her mind.
* * * * *
All heads snapped in Hermione's direction as she quietly slid into the classroom and sat down at one of the back desks.
"Sorry I'm late," she apologised quickly before opening up her books and trying to look like she was paying attention.
"Where were you?" asked Ron on the way out of the Arithmancy lesson.
"None of your business," she replied, walking faster to get away from him. As much as she liked Ron and found his company most delightful, everytime she saw him she was reminded of Harry and that memory was far too painful for her to have to relive all the time. Of course she couldn't explain the way she felt to Ron... he would never have been able to understand. She on the other hand would never be able to understand how one could move on so easily. Half the time Ron acted as if Harry was just in the dormitory getting ready or in the common room reading a book.
"Hermione, wait!" Ron called hopelessly from behind her. Sighing, he turned around and headed back to the Gryffindor Tower. He missed the real Hermione. The Hermione who was there right now wasn't the real one, she was just some imposter. Inside he hoped that one day, when Harry returned, so would Hermione.
Disclaimer:
I've never written a disclaimer before but now seems like a good time to start. As you would know, none of JK Rowling's superb characters and creations belong to me (unfortunately) BUT the poem at the start of each chapter does! BWAHAHAHA!Author's Note:
So what do you think? I was in the mood to write something Harry/Hermione-ish because I haven't written any for sooo long! It's sort of angst-y isn't it? Oh well, something this depressing is something I haven't tackled for awhile and while I try and figure out some stuff for my 'Hermerella' story I thought I'd give this a go. So if you could, leave me a review and tell me what you think so far! The next chapter should be up pretty soon! Thanks heaps!