This one-shot was written because my fellow shipmates on Tumblr inspired my muse. Again! This is really getting ridiculous. I see one gif set and voilà my muse comes up with this. If you are interested in the gif set I'm referring to. It was posted by killianthejones over on Tumblr.

So, if this story will drown you in feels blame my fellow shipmates or blame Killian and Emma for being so damn perfect for each other but don't blame me. I'm just a victim of their perfectness. :-)


He was gone. She was too late. He had left her.

How could he ever doubt their love for one second? How could she let him think that she would not choose him? How could he believe that she would choose Neal?

After everything they'd been through together.

Why didn't he have trust in their love?

Emma stared at the place his ship should be, the water sloshing against the dock and tears welled up in her eyes. He was really gone. He had left her. She had lost him. And this time it was her own damn fault.

She'd seen the acceptance in his eyes when she went after Neal. It had sliced through her heart to see him doubting her, doubting what they had. But she thought she owed it to Neal, the father of her child, to at least explain everything to him.

Because that was what she had been doing. Going after him to explain to him that they would never be together again, that she fell in love with another man. A man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

She hadn't expected that he would leave. She just wanted to make it clear to Neal, once and for all, that their love was in the past. Of course she still loved him. But she wasn't in love with him anymore.

She had thought the moment she'd realized that Neal had left her and told the cops that she was to blame for the theft of the watches was the most devastating moment of her life. She was wrong. Because this moment, the moment she'd realized that Killian had left her, was more devastating. She should have talked to him first before going after Neal. She should have reassured him that he was the one she loved, that he was the one she wanted to be with.

She knew about his fears. She knew him inside out. She should have known that he would just accept that she would choose another man and leave her. Sometimes she just forgot how scarred his heart was. Most of the times she saw only the warrior, the fighter. The man who would fight for the things he wanted. But when it came to love Killian Jones was burnt.

She of all people should have known that he would just let her go the moment he saw her going after Neal. But for one moment she forgot about it. About the hurt, the loss both of them had been through. She couldn't blame him for leaving. It was her fault. Her own fault. She had driven him away. She was the one to blame. No one else.

She had just lost the man she loved with such an intensity that she didn't know how she should go on with her life without him by her side and as she stared out on the ocean she almost could hear her heart break into a million pieces as she realized that she would never recover from this.

She had lost him. He had left her. He was gone.

Her heart was still beating in her chest, she could feel it hammering against her ribcage but it was only pumping blood through her veins, keeping her body alive while a small part of her wished it would just stop beating. Because nothing would be the same anymore. Her body might be still alive but a pirate had stolen her heart and now that he was gone, her heart was gone too. She would never see him again but her heart belonged to him and he had taken it with him, leaving her broken and numb, barely able to continue her life without him.

~K&E~

She went back to the apartment, completely ripped of any emotions, just feeling cold and hollow, not able to even say anything as she stepped into the living room. David took one look at her and went immediately into protective mode and she almost broke down as she saw the worried expression on his face. She lifted her hand, stopping him before he could reach her. She couldn't handle any human contact right now. She just couldn't.

As Henry ran into the room, shouting excitedly as he saw her and rushing towards her, she stumbled backwards, her hands starting to tremble uncontrollably and Mary Margaret who had followed Henry saw immediately the turmoil she was in and longed forward, grabbing Henry and pulling him back. Her son was staring at her confused and Emma gulped hard, trying to pull herself together, if only for her son's sake but failed miserably.

"I ..." Emma inhaled a deep breath, her voice failing her as she felt tears pricking the back of her eyes. "I need to … I'm sorry. I need to go."

~K&E~

She was sitting in the middle of the woods, droplets of rain were dripping onto her jacket from the branches over her head but she didn't notice it as she mourned the loss of her love. She knew she had to go back eventually. She knew she had to pull herself together for the people who were waiting for her back in Storybrooke. Her mother, her father, her son. She knew she had to be strong.

Almost all her life she had felt alone. She had no one. No one who cared about her. But she had found her son. She had found her parents. She wasn't alone anymore.

But right now she felt more alone in her life than she had felt ever before. How could it be that the absence of one person could make her feel like this? How could one person be so important that losing them felt as if your life had just ended? How could losing one person could make you wish that you could just stop living?

Silent tears rolled down her cheeks as the loss of him shattered her. She didn't know how to go on with her life. She really didn't know. Her whole body was hurting, every fiber of her was screaming that she didn't want to live anymore. She couldn't live without him.

But she knew she had to and the knowledge that she had to find a way to live without him almost ripped her apart because she knew there were people who needed her, people who would be devastated if they would lose her. But her heart only wanted one person. One man. One man she couldn't fathom living without but the tears dried on her face as she accepted that she had to live the rest of her life with a broken heart. A broken heart that would never heal.

She didn't even look up as she suddenly heard rustling coming from her right. She didn't even reach for her gun. Right now she was just too devastated to care for her life. He had left her. This thought was the only thing that ricocheted through her brain. He had left her and she would never see him again.

"You shouldn't be out here all by yourself, love."

His lilting voice knocked the breath out of her and closing her eyes, she gritted her teeth, convinced that when she would look up she would just see the trees surrounding her. Her heart clenched in her chest, the tears rising up in her throat, threatening to suffocate her. Pulling all her strength together, she lifted her head, already expecting to stare at nothing but as her eyes fell on his familiar form, her body went stiff, her heart skipping a beat as her eyes locked on his.

"Are you a figment of my imagination?" Emma whispered, a lonely tear trailing down her cheek as she stared up at him, still not believing what she was seeing.

"No, I'm real." Killian replied softly, crouching down in front of her, lifting his hand to brush his thumb over her cheek, wiping the tear away.

Before his fingers touched her skin she'd still believed that he was a figment of her imagination. A sob slipped over her lips as his fingers caressed her cheek and she threw herself into his arms, clinging to him, not wanting to let go. The fear that it would turn out to be all a dream, that she would just wake up and he wouldn't be there, was still consuming her.

She felt him moving, his arms tightening around her as he shifted to move to the tree trunk she had been sitting on, lowering himself on it, pulling her onto his lap and she buried her face against his neck, the sobs suddenly wracking her body as the last few hours were catching up on her, the relief of having him back overwhelming her.

He was holding her in his arms, rocking back and forth slightly, giving her the time she needed, not saying anything just being there and after a few minutes her sobs subsided, his unique scent soothing her, his arms around her making her calm down slowly, his heart beat under her ear comforting her.

"I thought you've left." Emma mumbled against his skin, her voice hoarse with tears. "I thought I've lost you."

"I'm sorry, love." Killian whispered, skimming his hand soothingly over her back. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left. I should have trusted you. I should have trusted our love. But he is the father of your child and I'm … I'm a broken man. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve your love. I ..."

"Shhh!" Emma leaned back, pressing her fingers against his lips, keeping him from saying more. "I chose you, Killian. I love you. I know this might sound strange but I fell in love with you because you were a broken man. I fell in love with you because you know what it means to have a broken heart. I fell in love with you because we understand each other, because we know what it means to lose people we love. I fell in love with you because you gave up your revenge for me."

"But I left, Emma. I didn't fight for you. I just folded and a man not willing to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets." Killian said softly, pressing his lips together into a straight line before he added quietly. "I don't deserve you."

"But you came back." Emma said sternly, cupping his face between her hands, leaning her forehead against his. "You came back."

"I will always come back for you." Killian replied with a slightly shaking voice. "Always."

She felt his hand trailing along her neck and she tilted her head, meeting his lips and when his tongue slipped into her mouth she couldn't keep herself from kissing him hungrily, pouring all her fears, all her hurt into this one kiss and she pressed her body against his, never wanting to leave his side again.

She had thought she had lost him. But he came back. He came back for her and she would never let him go again.


You know what? The feels I'm getting on a daily basis when it comes to those two idiots are seriously gonna kill me one day. I'm not kidding. I'm getting heart palpitations only by thinking about next season and knowing that we will see every step of their epic love story and they are going to make me cry over and over again by being just so damn perfect and broken and just … arghh! Like I said, they are gonna kill me with feels and the only way I can survive this is by writing fanfiction. Because the feels have to go somewhere before I'll explode.