This story won the award for BEST SMUT in the May 2013 Firewhiskey Fic Fest on LJ.
*** For Firewhiskey Fics, no betas, autocorrect, or spell-checking are allowed! ***
Pairing(s)/Characters/Fandom: lots of HP charahters
Challenge: WEASLEYS' WIZARDING WHEASEES
Summary: Fred and George thorw themselves a birthday bash.
Rating/Warnings:NC-17
Word count:1400-ish
Author's Notes (if any): There's sex ahead, and bad spelling. BE WARNED!
*** REMEMBER: For Firewhiskey Fics, no betas, autocorrect, or spell-checking are allowed! ***
The WWW Love Fest
"We turn some sort of age on the first!" said Fred to George one day, as they took turns beefing it to Verity in their shops' back room. Verity was paid in peanuts, but she also got all the penis she wanted, and she was a hgappy girl. Verity "DP" Pushpram, they called her. She was fucking SWEET with the meat.
After they were done, F and G wrote up an ivitation to a Kink Fucking Party for their birtday.
Come one, come all, to the WWW Fantastic Unbelievable Cock and Kwim Fest! The WWW FUCK Fest for short!
"Ya think that's good?" asked George
"Hell, yes!" said Fred. But we need to have te dayte on it."
George added the date of their party to the poster with a flourish.
"April First, the Celebration of our birth, will be a WWW FUCK Fest beyond meansure! COME hang out with us! Come in, come out, and shake it all about!"
"ERpgeasvert!" said Fred.
"Perfect!" Said george.
"What's that I said." Said Fred.
Good.
So, April 1 came. Everyone who was anywone came to the party. Everyone was read the rules by one opf the twin s – they were both dressed mlike Frank N Furter so it doen't matere who was who.
Raunchy sex, vanilla sex, kinky sex – it's all aould. Alouwd. Let it roop!
Fucking and sucking is good. Death is not. Be safe.
Leave your phone hnumber if you want' to COME agaion.
Have fun!
Fred had waved everyone away towawrds the baskets full of condoms, liberation oil, and towles. George directed traffic away from the exits – they wanted EVERYONE to COME at least once before they WENT.
Cormac McHallgane grabbed the Patil twins, saying he'd always wanted a hot mocha cocoa cup of love. They told him to shut the fuck up and put his mouth to work – and they showed him what thayt meant when Padma sat on his face and showed him what her mocka meat curtains of love could do to his lips. He loved it. Meanwhile, Parvati strocked him to a hard, hot erection and sat down, reverse cowgorl stiyle, and proceeded to bounce her way to orgasm, diddling her clit the entire time.
Draco Malfoy stepped forward while he watched the duxksy beauties ravaging the big, dumb, Cormac, whipped out his pale but happy cock, and waggled it in Parvat'I's face. She grinned up at him, told him, "Welcome to the Order, snake boy," and sucked his cock down her thorat like it was a cure for mononucleosis. Draco screamed out "FUCK!" to which everyone else cryied out (thouse whose mouths weren't full) "FEST!" and everyone p[roceded them to really put the plough to one another.
Seamus had a fairly small dick, when compared to the other men in the room, but he was a MASTER at anal sex. Being smaller, he was less scary to women (and men) whow were Ass Curious but afraid to try. He began to fiuck (safely, of course, he always wore a NEW condom each time [remember, he's a half-blood, he knows about condoms and shite like that.]) everyone who'd have it.
It tirned out that EVERYONE wanted it. Practically. He fucekd Luna up the arse as she was riuding Neville's hard stealy rod of Snake Killing Wood., then he fucked Dean up the arse as Dean was giving it to Ginny like there was no tomorrow. Ginny was bemoaning and crying with exctasty and wishing she hadn't broken up with Dean before they'd fuicked, because poor Harry, well, he didn't have a fucking clue and he neeed so m help. His dick was adeqate but he didn't wknow what to do with it.
Luckily for Harry, he was getting that help, in the form of Lavender Brown, Cho Chang (who had stopped crying for this evening, as a special treat), and Susan Bones, who showed Harry what her last name meant. She was able to get him rock hard in 3.2 seconds with her breasts and hands, and she could suck the chrome off a fender (*tha'ts not iroginanl, folks, I got the phrase from somewhere) and he loved it. Lavender Sat on his face and showed him what to do with his lips teeeth and toung and fingers, and Cho and Susan took turns riding his cock so he'd oknow where the G spot was AND what the fiuck a cloptiros was FOR!
Ginny would never be so happy as she wass the necxt night, back at Grimmauld Place, when Harry brought her to orgasm 13.5 times before he came. It was bluiss.
MEANWHILE, in the middle of all this sucking and fucking and blowing and showing, Hermione grabbed One of the twins by the dick, and the other by his one remaining ear. "I want both of you," she whispered.
They grinned, and immediately bend her over the counter of their store. She was wearing nothing but a beach towel with Pac-Man on it. Fred flipped up the towel, said "WAKA WAKA!" at the sight of Hermion'es shaven peach and shived his dick into her silky smooth twat. Yes ,,he'd been DICKtating the rools to the crowd while wearing nothing but a smile. Verity, meanwhile, had a night job at this FUCK Fest as a fliffer, and she'd been sucking on Fred's dick whyile he gave his speakch so he was rock heard for hErmione. She GROANED hard as he drove his big freckedd cock into her quim, and as she opened her mouth to pant deaply, George stepped forward and slid the head of his dick onto her waiting, wet, mosit tongue. Luna Lovegood had been fluffing him, sicking him down her throat as though he was a Sugar Quill, despiet the facrt that he was a bit bigger than average fellow (but nbot so big you'd think, yeah, RIGHT, SURE he's that big) Luca seemed to realld enjoy giving head, too, and she'd tucked a business card into his arsecrack for him to retrieve later on which she'd written her phone number and her Floo number because even though she's a witch, she's a n ENLIGHTENED witch too.
So George fucked Hermione's face, hard but respectfully, with his granite-hard arse clenched tightly around Luna's ophne number, and Fred fucked his identical-to-george's cock in and our of Hermione's cunt to the rhythm of "Fat Bottomed-Girls" by QUEEN. He slid one long-fingered, dextrous hand around her juicy thigh and found her clit. He twiddled and diddled and fiddled with it, until Hermione was humming the Hallelujuah Chorus around George's cock, siucking and humming and slurpiong and burlping her way through thrice-multipple orgasms. Only then did Fred whip the Pac-Man towel completely off of Hermione's body, yank his dick out of her cunt, and jerk himself off onto her back, his hot, wet, steaming seed shotting across and up her spine in thick ropy strings.
George shoved hard into Hermione's throat, coming as his Brother came, and she swallowed it all down, every last drop.
When he was finished, he readhed forward and drew a big Ghost shape in Fred's semen that coated Hermione's back, and then they wrapped her up carefully in her Pac-Man towel, pressing it formly against the Ghost, befiure sending her HAPPY self on her way with a pat on the rump.
The shop was full of the smell of sex, lube, semen, girly essence, and a bit if shit from the sharting that some folks did after being fucked up the arse by Seamus. Everyone panted, gaspjng, and saited, and they ALL left their contact information with the Twins before they left for the evening. Some left with the peole they'ed arrived with, other's left with the people they'd COME with. (HAHAHAH GET IT COME WITH?! COME!? CAME?! Ah, fuck it)
Fred and George toasted their certain age and claimed the party to be a success. Verity, who'd stayed behind to clear up, suddently found herself on her back on top of Fred, who was wiggling his dick into her arse while Georege ploughed her good from the front.
"You 't leave without giving us our Birthday Presents, would you, Verty?" the two handsome, clever ginger men said, almost simultaneously as they hugffed and panted their lust into her buxom body.
Verity moaned, groaned, and came deliciously. Ah, yes, She migith be paid in penises, but they were nicely salted. She could live with that.
DA END
