It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Prim smoothed her black skirt which felt so stiff. All around her was crying and sadness and she felt uncomfortable and wrong, wrong, wrong.
She looked to her right and saw Gale, who had never looked more broken in his life. His gray eyes filled to the brim with tears that he refused to let spill onto his face. His face was pale and his mouth was in a thin line. He had an arm around Peeta, who sat next to him.
It was hard to look at Peeta. He had his face buried in his hands at the moment, but whenever he looked up, his face was terrifyingly heartbreaking. Unlike Gale, Peeta could not or did not want to hold back his sadness and his sighing sobs left trails down his cheeks. His Prim couldn't look at him without feeling terribly, terribly guilty.
And Prim…it hadn't really hit Prim yet. Yesterday, Katniss had woken her up in her own little bed and today, Katniss was lying in a simple, wooden, black, bed. Cold, lifeless, and dead.
Prim thought of how hard Katniss had worked for a revolution, for things to change. Today was the first day with out the chains that the Capitol had bound them with, and yet…today they were bound with anchors of sadness they realized that even the face of the rebellion, even the girl on fire was not invincible.
Prim couldn't look at her mother. She was terrified that she would look up and see the face that her mother made after her father died. She was scared to lose her mother. This time there was no Katniss to look after her.
Later on in the service, several people stood up and talked about Katniss and the legacy she left behind. He spoke of her brash behaviors when she had first met him and the time they drank together and he even managed to get a few bittersweet chuckles from the crowd that had gathered for Katniss's funeral. The adoring fans had come from every district to show their respect for the girl who ultimately sacrificed her own life so that everyone else could live. The crowd stretched for what seemed like miles and from above, the crowd of people must have looked like a vast sea.
Gale spoke, ever the brave one. He began, not breaking his tough demeanor, his emotions unexposed.
"Katniss…or Catnip as I liked to call her…was my best friend," he began strongly.
"I found her in the woods one day and the more and more we traded tips and spent days together, hunting to keep our family alive, the more and more I came to respect….and to love her."
He swallowed hard before continuing, "When she got back from the Games, I knew that my Catnip would never be the same. Still….I loved her and the very first day we were back out in the woods….I-I…I kissed her." He looked down at his shoes, "And I would do anything to do it again right now."
He glanced at her casket and quickly looked away, running a hand through his dark hair. "We could've run away together. I used to think about it all the time. We could've escaped in to the woods…we almost did. But you…you chose to stay and fight. And although, it took you from me, it was one of the bravest things I've ever seen anyone do."
He covered his mouth for a moment and waited a few seconds before speaking again.
"I'm so, so, sorry, Catnip", he spoke, his voice shaking, "And I hope you know that…that I love you with all my heart and I already miss you so much that it hurts. Goodbye, my…my beautiful best friend."
With that, Gale covered his face, and for the first time ever in her life, Prim saw him cry. She watched his shoulders shake as his mother Hazelle, rose from her seat and led him to sit beside her. She rubbed his back and held him close as he cried into her shoulder blade, shoulders shuddering.
Prim felt empty watching him. After all she had done, the girl on fire was dead. The fire she had ignited had burned out. Prim, looked down and bit her lip.
It was then that she felt a hand take hers. She looked up and saw Annie Cresta solemnly take her hand. Annie had her fair share of devastation in the past few days, losing her husband of only a few days and discovering that she was pregnant after his death. The gesture was so kind considering the circumstances that that alone nearly brought Prim to tears.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Prim took her mother's hand. Her mother gave her a sad smile, and linked hands with the man beside her.
Prim watched as the crowd that had gathered to celebrate Katniss's life and legacy joined hands together until Prim couldn't see anyone who wasn't holding someone elses hand.
There was a moment of silence before the sound came. Somewhere, deep in the ocean of people, a voice rose out. Quiet and tiny, but strong and sure.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow, lay down your head and close your eyes and when again they open, the sun will rise."
Next to her Annie began to sing along besides her, her voice shaky. When Prim looked at her, she had tears on her face, and before she knew it, Prim was crying as well. Prim began to sing, as best she could.
"Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guard you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true
Here is the place where I love you."
The voices of the people grew until everyone in the area was singing. When Prim looked around, she saw everyone holding hands, and singing, some crying, some trying hard not to. Prim looked forward at the coffin and continued to see with group as the made one final, one great tribute to the girl who had saved them all, the girl on fire who's flame had finally gone out.
"Deep in the meadow, hidden far away
A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray
forget your woes and let your trouble lay
and when again it's morning, they'll wash away.
Here it's safe, here it's warm
Here the daisies guide you from every harm
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true.
Here is the place where I love you."
