L.D.
The Extra-Terrestrial
(A Parody of E.T....as if you didn't know that already)
Elliot looked up at the night sky...it was filled with smog. He couldn't see a darned thing except for a big burst of blue light that nearly blinded him. It seemed to have landed in the corn patch behind his back yard. Elliot became frightened and wet his pants. He winced at the moistness he now felt and quickly ran inside to change his pants.
When Elliot returned he heard rustling in the corn patch. He hid behind a lawn chair and saw an odd creature emerge from the bushes. It moaned and looked like a deformed hobo. What the heck was it? No, no. What in the Freak Dippity Doo was it?
Elliott tried to trick the strange thing to come closer and it worked. The bait-candy pieces-were attracting the little deformity. It kept on eating until it stepped into a badger trap and began to scream in agony. Apparently the creature was as dumb as a rock.. (The trap was at least 5 ft in diameter and CLEARLY visible) When it passed out from yelling so much, Elliot snuck him to his room.
Gertie-Elliot's sister-looked at the new creature with wide glazed over eyes. She looked up at Elliot and asked, "what are you going to call him?" At that very moment the half-conscious alien stuck his finger in a light socket and electrocuted himself.
Elliot looked at his sister and replied, "L.D."
Both agreed it suited him.
The next morning Elliot couldn't find L.D. , but he hadn't searched Gertie's room. He was there in full drag and as happy as a lark. Soon, Elliots brother came in and took L.D. off alone. When he returned he showed them the new trick he had taught him.
Mark put on a tape of erotic music and L.D. began to strip and say nasty things. They were all entranced by his glowingness and all the brown fat rolls that covered his body. Suddenly a big bright light shone and the aliens were back....They said they needed their president back. L.D. left, but not after one final lap dance, and he was never seen again. Thank God.
* * *
Steven Spielberg woke up in a cloudy room and thought...I gotta stop smoking weed. Then he wrote the sequel to E.T. which was even worse than Howard the Duck.
The End
The Extra-Terrestrial
(A Parody of E.T....as if you didn't know that already)
Elliot looked up at the night sky...it was filled with smog. He couldn't see a darned thing except for a big burst of blue light that nearly blinded him. It seemed to have landed in the corn patch behind his back yard. Elliot became frightened and wet his pants. He winced at the moistness he now felt and quickly ran inside to change his pants.
When Elliot returned he heard rustling in the corn patch. He hid behind a lawn chair and saw an odd creature emerge from the bushes. It moaned and looked like a deformed hobo. What the heck was it? No, no. What in the Freak Dippity Doo was it?
Elliott tried to trick the strange thing to come closer and it worked. The bait-candy pieces-were attracting the little deformity. It kept on eating until it stepped into a badger trap and began to scream in agony. Apparently the creature was as dumb as a rock.. (The trap was at least 5 ft in diameter and CLEARLY visible) When it passed out from yelling so much, Elliot snuck him to his room.
Gertie-Elliot's sister-looked at the new creature with wide glazed over eyes. She looked up at Elliot and asked, "what are you going to call him?" At that very moment the half-conscious alien stuck his finger in a light socket and electrocuted himself.
Elliot looked at his sister and replied, "L.D."
Both agreed it suited him.
The next morning Elliot couldn't find L.D. , but he hadn't searched Gertie's room. He was there in full drag and as happy as a lark. Soon, Elliots brother came in and took L.D. off alone. When he returned he showed them the new trick he had taught him.
Mark put on a tape of erotic music and L.D. began to strip and say nasty things. They were all entranced by his glowingness and all the brown fat rolls that covered his body. Suddenly a big bright light shone and the aliens were back....They said they needed their president back. L.D. left, but not after one final lap dance, and he was never seen again. Thank God.
* * *
Steven Spielberg woke up in a cloudy room and thought...I gotta stop smoking weed. Then he wrote the sequel to E.T. which was even worse than Howard the Duck.
The End
