Disclaimer: Daria and associated characters are owned by MTV. This is fan fiction written for entertainment only. No money or other negotiable currency or goods have been exchanged.
Written in response to Brother Grimace's challenge to present the events of I Loathe a Parade from Tad Gupty's viewpoint.
Richard Lobinske
My
Parade Adventure
By Tad Gupty
Grade 4
Last
week, Mom and Dad took my sister and me to see the Lawndale
Homecoming parade. It was so exciting to see all the people gathered
downtown. That's when it all began. We passed by the toy store and
there was a big, blue windmill in the window. Dad's talked about
putting one on the roof as a clean energy source, so I stopped to
look. I was a little disappointed that it was made from Lego blocks
and wouldn't work. I turned to show Dad and he was gone. All
around people rushed by, trying to find a good place to watch the
parade. I tried to find my family, but I couldn't see past everybody
on the sidewalk. I felt like an ant lost in tall grass and became
very scared. That's when I heard someone say, "Tad?"
A looked over and there was my favorite babysitter, Daria. I
told her how scared I was. I don't know how she did it, but
hearing her say she was scared too made me feel better. We decided
not to look for a police officer because of my father's bad
experiences with them during the Better Nutrition Now protests.
Instead, she took my hand and we set off on a grand adventure to find
my parents. I don't think she's a Babar fan. I bet she reads Tintin
instead. A bunch of high school kids having a fight with
Silly String sprayed us with it. Don't they know that it's bad for
the ozone layer? I guess not, because Daria made a comment about
their conscience being stupid. When we were cleaning the sticky stuff
from our clothes, she said someone named Melody would drop them into
a giant spider web. I think she was funning with me; Daria knows that
there aren't giant spiders. I was really glad I ran into her,
because a creepy man in a pink car tried to get my name. I'd just
told Daria how I was helping to protect other kids from getting
cavities at the parade when the strange man drove up. He was kind of
scary looking and had some weird people-shaped balloons in the back
of his car. Daria warned me about him and then she made the strange
man go away. I really felt safe after that. And then we ran
into Daria's friend Tom, who was looking for Jane, another friend of
Daria's. From the way she smiled when they talked, I think Daria
likes him. He was going the same way, so Tom joined us heading to
Drugs N' Stuff. Later, he had the idea to jump on a float to see
people better, and so that Mom and Dad could see me. We found
one with Daria's sister Quinn riding on it. I don't why she was with
those three mean girls, maybe someone made her. That must be why
Daria didn't want to get on the float, because she knew how mean
those other girls were. We should've listened to her, but I wanted to
ride a float so bad I hopped on and cried until she did, too. Two
of the mean girls grabbed Daria and the other took a picture. It was
real nice how Quinn jumped in to protect Daria. I like how they look
after each other. The leader was threatening Daria with hairspray.
Even though I'm smaller than they were, I had to help. That gave
Quinn the chance to tell Daria that she hadn't seen my parents and
for us to get away. We'd just made it back to the sidewalk
when we ran into a frightening guy in a lion costume. I think Tom
also likes Daria, because he chased the lion guy away from Daria and
got her to smile again. That's when things got very scary again. We
were watching the cheerleaders when they suddenly stopped and marched
away like they were mad at something. I know Mom says we shouldn't
support cheerleading because of gender stereotypes, but they are
funny to watch. A float with a big penguin on it crashed getting away
from the angry cheerleaders and it caught on fire. Everyone tried to
watch the firefighters put it out and I was pushed away from Daria
and Tom. I didn't know what to do as I looked around and I
was spun around and didn't know where I was when I got away from the
crowd. But then, Dad saw me and I was so happy to hear him call me.
He picked me up and took me to see Mom and Tricia. I told them all
about my adventure and how Daria helped. We went back into
the crowd and looked for Daria and Tom. I saw them first and called
them over. Mom and Dad were so happy that they promised her extra
carrot sticks and dried fruit the next time she came over to babysit.
I think they should've given Daria some uncut diamonds like she asked
for. My little sister wanted to get back to watching the
parade, so we left. The rest of the day was boring. I wish I could've
spent the rest with Daria. I had a lot more fun then.
February 2006
