There is no chance for this love to be gone

AN: Just something I wrote long ago

Summary: "to make a good love grow, we can love without each other, I know"

I just wish.

I just wish I never realized how much I love him.

I just wish I never realized that I love him.

I just wish I never loved him.

Then maybe I could be happy for him.

Then maybe I would not be that lonely.

Then maybe we would be just like before.

"Friends."

I just wish.

And that's as far as it can be… a wish.

Just a wish.

"So before I let you go I want to say… I love you.

How?

I don't know.

But I know it will be easier to be friends again."

Once I tell him I love him instead of avoiding him.

He loves her.

I love him.

I get that, I just need to tell him.

He's a smart man, he'd understand.

I said it.

I said it, as I watch him run away from me and to the plane.

I said it.

But he didn't hear it.

Too late.

"Before I let you go I want to say… I love you."

May it be in this lifetime or the next he's part of me.

The one part of me that I'll never regret nor dare to forget.

He is a part of almost all the wonderful moments in my life.

Wait a minute, what am I saying?

He's not a part of those moments…

He is that moment.

And I'll forever cherish it.

I thank god.

And then I ask for his help.

Help, that I may live and wake up gladly each and every day,

knowing that it's another day…

Without him.

No one could ever give objection to that

nor do anything to change that.

Cause I will always love him…

Always.

I'm so tired.

So tired of thinking.

So tired of feeling.

So tired if longing.

So tired if hurting.

Even if I love him so dearly.

Even if he is everything to me.

Even if I know for a fact I will always love him.

Even if I know that there is no chance for this love to be gone.

I'm still hoping.

I'm still waiting.

I love him.

I can't stop loving him.

All my life I will always love him.

It's all I want to do.

No, that isn't true.

I don't want to feel it any longer.

But I still do.

It isn't what I want to do.

It's what I can't stop doing.

Someday I too will be happy.

I hope.

Someday I will.

"To make a good love grow,

we can love without each other.

I know."

Now, finally, years later.

I got him and we're happy.

Now I know he's finally mine.

Forever.

When I woke up he was still in my arms.

Waking up everyday with him beside me

is what I want my whole life.

There really is a rainbow after the rain.

I remember some years ago… I had a dream

very similar to this… only before.

It was really a dream, only a dream, now…

now it's what's real.

He's mine.

He's all mine.

I can never get tired of that thought.

At this point in life I could definitely say

that reality is much better than dreaming.

Finally we are happy.

Together.

And he is mine…

Forever.

Til death do us part.

END