A/N: With the latest trailers out, I was inspired to write a short one-shot in Dean's POV of what happens between season 8's ending and season 9's beginning. It contains spoilers so if you want to keep the surprise, don't read it.

Summary: It's all too familiar. The rain, the mud… but it's not happening again, no way! I'm not letting it happen again! Sam will be fine, he has to be! I'll do everything I can to make him better. So hold on, Sammy! Help is on the way but please… don't leave me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. Kripke did (back in the good ol' days and now Carver does).

Warnings: character death implied, minor swearing, first person POV (it's actually a premiere for me)

Most of all, enjoy!

I turn my eyes up with hope because he's telling me to look. And then I understand what he's talking about. His arms are outstretched towards me and I can see the glowing light dim until it disappears completely. I hear the loud and laborious sound of my brother's breathing. But despite his obvious fatigue and pain, he smiles.

We have just reunited as brothers and I told him we would figure this out because we would. And I would help him through it, whatever it took. Only, I really wished it would be over this time. I was getting sick and tired of seeing him in pain. This had to stop.

I start laughing with joy because finally I see hope, where I only saw despair. I see light where I thought only dark existed. I see my brother smile, something he hasn't done for months because all he's been doing is cough up blood and boil from the inside. But now he is happy and so am I. Only then something happens.

I see the color drain instantly from his face. A sudden gasp rips his throat and his mouth shuts open, trying to fill in the void of his empty lungs. He bends over in pain and I'm starting to think that it was too good to be true. But my thoughts don't lead to my next actions. I don't even have time to think before I throw myself at him, catching his fall.

I try to pull him up as my mind is racing 100 miles per hour, screaming OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod ! and fear claws at my stomach. For a second, I really think it's even worse than the pain from the Hell hounds. Because my pain doesn't mean anything, but his pain… it's a burden I've carried too many times and it's breaking my back now. It's unbearable.

Then I see his face. His eyes are almost rolled back into his head where they stick out so much from the purplish bruising around them. His cheeks are sunken and his brow glistens from the sweat. His skin has turned an impossibly paler shade of pale. His lips are turning blue now. OhShitOhShitOhShit!

I wrap his arm around my shoulders and drag his gigantic ass outside of the church. I push the front doors open, not caring about the sacred ground over my dying brother. Oh – did I just think about dying brothers? No way! There is no way this is happening now or not ever! He is NOT dying tonight! I need to convince him of that.

"I've got you, little brother! You're gonna be just fine" I swear. I want him to know he'll be okay. I want me to know he'll be okay. I don't want to think about it. He has to be okay, right?

How the hell is he so heavy? Dude hardly eats anything these days. I have a hard time keeping up. Maybe it's because he's leaning into me – he's growing limp. Like a deadweight…NO SHIT he is NOT a deadweight! But then I hear him scream. It's full of pain and shivers rack my body. My brother hardly ever shows his pain. He'd rather stick around and hurt than stay back and become a burden.

And that's when he drops to the ground, next to the car. I can hear him struggle to breathe. It's so loud, I almost want to breathe for him. Just like I used to do when he was a kid and had a nightmare. I feel the need to see his face. He's down in the mud and all I can see is his back. Flashbacks come back to me and I try to keep them away. I don't want to think of how familiar this looks. This will not happen tonight. I won't let it.

"Sam? SAM!" I scream, reaching to him as I don't get any answer. I finally have him facing me. His eyes are closed in pain and his mouth is hanging open, the horrible sound of choking coming out of it. He's in pain and he can't breathe. I don't want to believe it. He needs to be okay. Castiel warned me that my brother was hurt beyond his healing abilities but I don't care. I need him to try. I place my hand on Sam's chest to hold him from falling but also to monitor his heart. It's my own way of knowing that he's still with me.

I need the angel now. Where is his fluffy ass when I need it? He can barge in my plans and take me away from Sam but when I need him, he won't answer my calls. I try anyway. "Castiel!" I shout at the top of my lungs, but it's still not loud enough to cover the sound of life escaping from Sam's lips. He's cringing and his face is contorted in pain. I grab his shoulder now because he's swaying dangerously and I can see tears forming at the corner of his eyes. "Where the hell are you" I whisper for the angel to hear. I need him so badly right now, why does he always choose that moment to disappear? I look at the sky desperately but nothing happens.

I turn back to look at Sam and his pain makes me want to hurl. It shouldn't have to be like this. Again I'm thinking OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod and I can't see clearly. My heart burns and my eyes blur. I have to control my rising panic. I can hear Sam struggle to stay alive next to me. And then the sound chokes into silence. And panic rises ten-fold in the pit of my stomach. I can see clearly now that his eyes are closed.

"Sammy!" I scream and shake him because he can't let go. I need him. He can't leave me. If he dies, I die too. But nobody's dying tonight, right Sammy? I realize I'm just thinking that. He needs to know how much I need him! But then OhShit! He's falling into the blackness. He doesn't answer anymore. I cradle his shirt with my whitening fist and tap his cheek with my other hand. Come on, damn it! Wake up! And when I see his eyes open to slits, I also feel his body shift towards the emptiness on his right side. I let go off his face because I have to see if he's coming.

Castiel, he has to have heard me. So what the hell is taking him so long? I have to take a look, just in case he is coming behind me. Sam has fallen limply and he's clutching his chest. I can't handle to see him in pain anymore. I look everywhere but there is no sign of the angel. I'm going to kill him! Son of a…where is he? And distantly I can hear Sam's rapid breathing. At least, he still is. It's not too late.

The wind picks up and I can hear sudden thunder from the sky. I don't remember any storm forecast but I hear it. And there is this strange light coming from the clouds now. I don't understand and I'm pissed because Castiel hasn't shown up yet. The light is growing brighter and it seems to be descending. I've never seen so many lightning strikes at the same time! Unless…

"Oh Cas" I breathe. Fuck! I'm starting to understand now. That's why he's not here. That's why Sam is slipping away next to me and nobody is here to hold him with me. That angel is so naive! We're screwed OhShit! And that's when I notice that they have started to fall. It's like watching a meteor shower of shooting stars. Only, I know these aren't stars. It takes all my attention until I remember that Sam is still lying next to me. I grip his shoulder tighter. He is so limp…Shit!

But I can't take my eyes away from the fascinatingly sad spectacle. One of the shooting stars falls right in front of me. I can see its descent. I can see the wings burn off the human form and I just know. Those aren't stars. Those are angels. One of them falls right in the lake across the church and I feel Sam's body jerk in surprise right next to me.

"What's happening?" he asks, gritting his teeth and I can tell how much energy he's put into that simple question. He still gasping for air but he's quieter now. It makes me wonder… but then I keep staring at the sky.

"Angels" I end up saying. I didn't check but I know that Sam is watching them too. It's hard not to. Shining lights are raining from the sky. I take a second to catch my own breath before I add "they're falling". I hate to say it because I know it means we've failed. It breaks my heart. I also know what happened to Castiel and I am all the more angry with him because he can't be of any use to me anymore and I need him now.

"Shit" Sam breathes softly. I can only agree with him before reality dawns upon me. Sam isn't only worried about the angels. He actually doesn't care about them so much. But he knows that he's slipping away and he's just watching his last hope crash and burn. My heart squeezes as I turn to him.

His eyes are dark with realization. The contrast is even more obvious with the color of his skin. His hair is sticking to his skin and it's not from the cold rain that has started to fall. He's still struggling to catch his breath but it has gone quiet by now. I think he knows he's screwed. Wait – I am giving into that defeat? No way, I can't think like that. But seeing him breaks my heart. Oh yeah, he knows. Kid's always been the smarter one.

"Dean, I'm screwed" he whispered, his teeth chattering from the cold. I shake my head frantically and reach out for him, grab him and wrap him up. I kiss his forehead and rub his back in giant circles, hoping to soothe him and to make the pain go away.

"You're not. You're going to be okay, Sam. I'll take care of you!" I assure him. I can't let anything happen to him, it's my job to look out for him! I pull back from him to see the sad look in the kid's eyes. It breaks me and for a moment, I'm the one who can't breathe.

"I'm calling for help, ok. You'll be fine" I start, picking up my cell phone and calling for an ambulance. I can feel him shift his weight against me as his head crashes against my shoulder. I wrap an arm around him for comfort. Maybe mine more than his. I can hear him wheeze and I hate it. His eyes are closed and I shake him to keep him awake. When his eyes open, they're glassy and fixated on nothing.

The rain falls down harder. The ground is muddied and I hate to think that it reminds me of the past. I'm not losing my brother again. Not like this. We'll move to where there is no rain if we have to. As I look at his pale face, I can only remember how I cradled his corpse back in Cold Oak. How in a matter of a few minutes he went cold and limp in my arms. I look at him now and I see that he's trying to fight it but it's a war he can't win.

I snap my phone shut and grab both his shoulders to steady him in front of me. "Hey, you're not pulling a Cold Oak act on me, are you?" I ask. I don't mean to tease. I'm worried to death. I need to know if he can hold on. I can't do this without him.

His eyes roll aimlessly and chills run up my stomach. SHIT SAM! Then with his remaining strength he pulls out a bitch face! Of all things, he wastes his energy on bitchfacing me! But then his eyes roll back into his head and he slumps towards the ground rushing to meet him. I grab him harder.

"Hey! HEY! Sam, stay with me! Help is on the way, you'll be okay!" I shout. My throat hurts from screaming and pleading but I can't begin to imagine how his must feel. He's making an effort. I first hear the groan then I see his eyes struggle to open. He's looking at me now. I hate that he seems peaceful.

"That's it, Sammy. You keep them eyes open for me" I order. Sam just looks at me. His body is racked with shivers. I know that he's cold from the rain but he's also trembling from the lack of oxygen in his muscles. Then I think oxy – OH SHIT he's not even struggling anymore. It's like there is nothing left for him to fight for.

"Hey, Sam. Just breathe, okay? Come on!" I beg. I see that he's looking at me but his eyes aren't seeing anything. He blinks sluggishly. It's happening again FUCK! No way. It's not. IT IS! I see his empty eyes stare into nothing. Just like when I held him as he bled to his death, his head lolling to the sides. Then I snap back to reality when I see his lips moving slightly. I have to stick my ear to his face so I can hear him.

"tired…" he whispers. I turn back to face him. "I know you are, man. But help is on the way. You have to stay awake just a little while longer and then you can sleep as much as you want" I try, hoping for it to be true but really needing him to just fight it a little longer.

The more he blinks, the longer it takes for his eyes to open again. I hate where this is going and I want to cry out in pain but I can't because he's so calm that I too have to be. I have to wrap my arms around him because he's shivering so damn much. His teeth are chattering. His muscles are stiffening. I know it takes too much energy out of him and he doesn't have much left. Then I hear salvation. The sirens are reaching us. Sammy will be saved.

I pull him away from me to look at him and my heart stops. His body has quieted down. He's gone limp and his eyes are closed. "Sammy, damn it. Now's not the time to sleep, help is here. You're safe Sam!" I shake him.

He doesn't respond. I can see images from six years ago. The same pale face and brown mop of hair. I shake him but he still doesn't wake up. "Sam? SAM!" I start shouting, shaking him some more. His head hangs limply on his neck. No no no no no no no no NOT AGAIN! SHIT! No no no SAM!

"SAAAAaaaaaaaaaammmmm" I shout. "Come on, don't do this to me. If you DIE, I die TOO!" I cry. Tears pool in my eyes and they cascade down my cheeks. Sam is cold. His body is limp. He's not struggling to breathe anymore because he stopped breathing. I stop breathing too. I want my own heart to stop beating in time with his.

And when the ambulance pulls unto the small road leading to the church, that's how they find me. I'm cradling my brother's dead body in my arms and I'm crying uncontrollably. I don't want anybody to touch me. I want to go with him, that's all. There is no me if there is no Sam.

The paramedics have to push me away to try to revive my brother. And I am a broken guilt-racked wreck. And my brother is gone. I have failed him once more.

Sam hops in the Impala with his brother. After what they've seen, Sam is still troubled.

"So what, the angels have fallen?" he asks. Dean looks distant, detached even.

"Are you okay? What's going on?" Sam asks him. Dean sighs.

"Look Sam, there's no easy way to say this so here goes. Something happened at the church… you died, Sam" Dean announced. Sam's face paled. Dean swallowed.

"We're in your head right now. But hey! It's not because you're dying that you actually have to die. We'll figure this out together, okay? Just like we always do" Dean said with a sad grin. Sam nodded.

He would never do that to his brother. He knew how much Dean needed him. Whatever it took, he would find a way back to his brother.

THE END

That's it! Love it, hate it? Don't forget to let me know and of course, don't forget to tune in with Supernatural on October 8 :)

LaueHime