A/N: I wrote this as a drabble for a 100 Days of _ prompt on my tumblr but I figured you Skins fans might like to read it here instead. It's just a short one-shot with Cook and Effy and a few mentions of Freddie (post-death). Enjoy! Oh and yeah, there's quite a few mentions of the F-word, hence the rating, but I'm just reminding so no one chews my head off for it, I tried to stay in character as best I could. I wish I was British though, it would make things easier :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins, the characters mentioned, etc.


"Fuck off 'kay? I don't want you; not now, not ever. I can't go back to that Cook. I can't go back to being that girl; do you know how much shit that caused all of us? Why do you even want me? I'm so fucked. We're all fucked. I can't be her anymore…I was so numb…so scared of reality…so deadjust like Freddie…" Effy spat in Cook's face as he stood in her doorway, hands finding hers.

"Freds is gone, Eff. He's dead, that fucking psycho killed him. Why are you hoping he'll come back for you? He can't! He is never coming back, don't you get that?" Cook replied, looking for an answer or some form of clarity in her eyes. She looked awful, clothes were more tattered than normal, and her hair was askew and caked on makeup seeming to be leftover from weeks ago, stained her eyes.

"Shut up! Just go find JJ and get bladdered! Get the fuck out of my house!" Effy recoiled from his grasp and forced him backward towards the door.

"Eff, you can't be on your own…It's not healthy…You can't keep living like this—" Cook retaliated, not giving up this easily.

"Living? Is this what you call living? Moping around all the time, putting up with Mum's constant worrying and crying over how I've ended up just the same as Tony? Some worthless mental case? Yeah, I'm having the time of my life, Cook. My boyfriend is dead. The one person who actually loved me is dead…How do you expect me to move on from that?" Effy forced her gaze away from him and tugged at the hemline of her shirt. Freddie`s shirt; one he`d left behind some night he`d snuck over. It was ripped, torn and worn out, just like her insides.

"The one person—Fuck you! Just fuck you! You think Freds was the only one who gave a damn about you? What was I then? Some mindless fuck you spent months with? What did I even mean to you Eff? I loved you too, you know. I still love you. Your fucking boyfriend and I had so many rows over you and you say he's the only one that cared about you? Wow. Your mum's right; you have turned into a mental case." Cook spat the truth in her face, not caring how much his words hurt her.

"And you have the right to judge me on that? Like you're not as fucked up as I am, Cook. Let's dive into your past, shall we—" Effy answered, raising her eyebrows challenging him further.

"Oh just shut up and listen to yourself! You're really going to stand here and argue who has the most fucked up life? Why did I bother coming back for you—"

"Why did you? Why did you think I'd want you back after all of this? I don't want anyone. I just want to be left alone. Is that so hard for you to get through your thick skull? I don't want to be your fucking partner anymore, I don't want to fake my feelings for you and pretend like everything is fine; I don't want to go back to normal because things aren't normal, Cook! They're never going to be normal ever again!"

"Fake your feelings? Is that what our relationship was to you? I loved you Effy. I fucking loved you and you left me for him! You chose my best mate over me! How the fuck did you think I'd react? I tried. I tried to let you be with him but he's not here anymore. Fred isn't here. I am. I'm here for you and I'm getting sick and tired of putting myself out on the chopping block for you! You either want me or you don't? Yes or no? It's a simple question; answer it already."

"I'll break your heart." Effy muttered under her breath, hair falling in her eyes.

"What?" Cook asked confused.

"I'll break your heart….that's what I told Freddie…You both…you both were so fucking stupid and ignored that. I told you the truth from the start. I hurt people. I fuck them over and ruin everything and you didn't listen to me and now you're trying to blame me for that? I warned you!" She wanted to cry, she wanted to break down and let it all flow out into Cook`s arms but something was holding her back.

"Well it's too bad you don't listen to warnings when you fall in love with someone! Why is that so hard for you to understand that someone actually loves you! How do you know Freddie even loved you at all? I love you and I'm telling you and you keep ignoring the truth!"

"Freddie did love me. You know that. Don't you dare say that about him." She sneered, emotions changing like the flick of a lighter.

"Why? He'll beat the shit out of me? He's not here! He's dead!"

"I know that!"

"Do you? Maybe you know that, but do you even except it?"

Cook scanned her up and down, shaking his head in disgust. He was tired of fighting for her affections. She wasn't accepting them and who knows if she ever would. He couldn't waste anymore time pining after her if she didn't want him. Cook lowered his gaze, turned his back to Effy and left her house without looking back. It was the last time he'd let her see him like this, this vulnerable human being with a heart and a soul that longed for her. That man was gone and he was never coming back.