Hello all! My name is Amber and this is my first shot at writing this kind of fanfiction, but I hope you like it. I originally intended it to be a one-shot but once I got writing on it, I realized I could carry it out a bit longer than that. This is written in a journal style, like Edward is writing in a journal. I hope it will be easy enough to follow in the chapters to come. As all writers do, I appreciate any and all feedback! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or own any rights to it. It is the work of someone much more talented than I. I am simply borrowing the characters to play with their lives a little bit!

Note: This story is RoyxEd. I do not plan on it being an extremely graphic fic, and have rated it M rather for the language and violent scenes that may arise. However, if you are greatly opposed to this pairing, then do not read it. I appreciate constructive criticisms, but not flames because you do not like the romantic pairing I have chosen. Please keep this in mind. Thank you.

Leather-Bound Memories

Entry One: Who I Am

Gunshots rang through the air, joined by a violent chorus of screams, explosions, and death. The sun was just beginning to set, casting a deep orange glaze over the world. Those who witnessed the horrors will tell you the sky turned blood red that day, bleeding for the hundreds of fallen souls.

There are events in my life that have eternally scarred me. Scenes from my past haunt my dreams at night, causing me to wake up screaming, drenched in sweat, and barely breathing. Even if I described them in perfect detail, you could never imagine what it was like. I do not say this out of spite. I would never wish these nightmares upon anyone. My sin, my burden.

I do not know who you are. You are the unlucky soul who has stumbled across my journal and opted to read it. I can't promise you that it will be the most riveting story you have ever read, but it is the story of my life. I have never written anything like this before, and I will never read it again. I have no desire to relive my past anymore than necessary. So, I will do my best to write this like on would a story, so at least it may be more entertaining to you. But before I tell you my story, let me finish the part that consists of my internal ramblings and my introduction.

Who am I? I am Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. I am called "The Hero of the People." I became part of the military's State Alchemists at the age of twelve, the youngest in history, and I suppose that you could say I am a legend. Of course, we know how legends fade and by the time you are now reading this, the world may have forgotten me and you may have no idea who I am. I don't care. I didn't do any of that to go down in history. I did what I had to out of necessity. I am only writing this journal because it is an assignment, all thanks to the military's new psychiatric department. They believe it would be in the best interest of all soldiers who have witnessed the terrors of battle to keep a journal in order to allow for some sort of release. They think it will promote mental stability. I personally think it is a load of horse shit, but that is all part of being the military's dog; you do what you're told. (You will have to pardon my language throughout the course of this reading – I never have been one to mind my tongue.)

Now everywhere I look, my comrades are constantly scribbling away in these leather-bound memory books, looks of pain on their faces as they try to recall the horrors of the past which they would rather forget. I fail to see how forcing people to relive their worst nightmares is good for their health, but I'm not the one with the degree or the badges to say otherwise. Of course, I'm sure not all pasts are as dark as mine, so perhaps my views are more biased. I'm sure Fuery has some short scribbles about stray animals he couldn't save. Breda has probably recounted in explicit detail each of the "vicious" encounters he has had with puppies. Judging by the tears and angry grumbles, I would say Havoc has set aside room for each girl he has lost, most of them having been stolen by the Colonel. Colonel Bastard is more like it! It's not that I hate Mustang, contrary to popular belief, but rather that we share a rivalry of sorts. Who can agitate who more. But, he may understand most. When I see the Colonel writing in his journal, his black eyes become empty, void of all emotion, and I know he is writing about Ishbal, the massacre. Yes, the Colonel may understand how I feel about these journals. Do not misunderstand me, I love all of my comrades, and we have each faced the monstrosity that is war, be it together or alone, but some have not been involved in situations as dire as others, like the Colonel and myself have. For that, I am glad.

With all this talk about horrors, scars, and nightmares, I'm sure you're wondering what exactly I am going on about. Well, let me give you a brief synopsis. My father (bastard!) left home when I was very young, leaving my mother to raise myself and my younger brother Alphonse on her own. Quite frankly, I liked it that way. I didn't care if the bastard ever came back. But God (should he exist) had other plans in mind. When I was ten, the disease that my mother had been hiding for so long hit full force, making me to say goodbye to the woman who had loved and raised me, forever. I was determined to bring her back, and that is what set me on my journey. In a failed human transmutation I created a monster that looked like my mother, lost my right arm and left leg (which have been replaced with the metal limbs known as automail, hence the name Fullmetal…haha…), and my younger brother lost his body. I was barely able to save his soul by binding it to a suit of armor. I spent the next five years of my life getting that body back. I have witnessed death and shed blood with my own hands. I have seen human chimeras and killed the human sins that are homunculi. I have witnessed the sacrifice of an entire city of people and obtained the legendary Philosopher's Stone. I have died and been resurrected, and I have returned a human soul to a human body. Finally, I have sworn to follow he who helped me, as long as he should need my help, and that brings you to my current journey in life.

You ask what would cause nightmares? That life would: the failed transmutation, the homunculi, the blood and death, the loss of friends, the sacrifice of Lior, and the massacre at Central Headquarters. I am constantly plagued by these memories, and I will not recount them for you in anymore detail than I already have. I prefer to leave my skeletons in the closet. I'm not going to forget they're there, and as I said, I see no reason to force you or myself to relive those terrors; all except the last that is. My name is Edward Elric. I am nineteen years old. I am the one and only Fullmetal Alchemist, and this is where you pick up my story…the day the sky turned red…

Well, that's my beginning. Good? Bad? I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are appreciated! And I will update as often as I can.

Mistress of the Night5