Title: I have no idea, all I know is that it's not 'Coffee'. Feel free to suggest something.
Author: Aviy
Characters: Roy, Ed
Disclaimer: Writing is mine, characters are not.
Notes: Written for a friend (Chira); inspired by another friend (Ciceqi at Livejournal) who has made Coffee/Roy an OTP forever burned into my brain.

CC always appriciated; I only nibble, never bite.


While it might be greatly frowned upon, Roy had to admit that there were certain advantages to having such a young, energetic lover. And certainly, many of those advantages could be discovered between (under, on top of, and five feet to the left of) the bedsheets, but to be perfectly honest his absolute favorite was Edward's errectic schedule, which often had him up late and early, with the coffee already on the burner.

It was one of those mornings; the disappointment of waking up to only a body-warmed pillow was quickly overridden by the faint scent of java wafting in from the kitchen. The smell mothered him out of bed, delicate but persistant, and the colonel was soon padding, barefoot and barechest, down the hall after only just remembering to pull on a pair of boxers.

Were he more awake, Roy might have put some thought to why Edward was up so early on a Saturday. Generally the blond's schedual was to stay up with Roy most of the night and then steadfastly refuse to move until sometime appropriately near noon. And since he was thinking, Roy would have been understandably suspicious, and most certainly would never have missed the fact that Edward was far too awake for this early hour. An even half away Roy Mustang would never have missed that Edwardwas trying, with pitiful success, to hide a mischivious grin.

Unfortunately, Roy really didn't put any thought into it and merely beelined for mug and carafe. And, truth be told, even if he had, he never, not in a million years, would have suspected the coffee.

After all, Edward had to have some boundries.

He was halfway through his first mug before he noticed the difference. Ed really didn't make a bad cup at all, but he had a tendancy to experiment with Roy's recipe once in a while. While Ed hadn't yet succeeded in making anything better, he'd come awfully close more than a few times. In the end, Roy had accepted it, deciding that having coffee waiting in the mornings was worth enduring a new flavor now and then.

It wasn't until he asked what the new ingrediant was that Edward looked up from the newspaper spread across the table. Wasn't until that very moment that Roy finally saw the grin, the cocky, challenging smile that assured Edward was up to something, and the tell-tale tilt to golden eyes that said he believed he'd already won.

Years of manipulation in the military had made Colonel Roy Mustang a master in the art of lies, both with words and body language. He was almost certain that however he felt, he hadn't really just gone pale as fresh snow. "Edward..." Roy held his mug carefully, didn't take another sip of it, and wondered if he could have his lover court martialed if he'd done anything horrible to his coffee. "What is. in. my. coffee?"

The problem with sleeping with someone frequently was that if you ever had any intimidation value to begin with, you ultimately lost it completely once they became familure with you. Roy could pleasently remember, years ago, when Edward would salute, when he would stand up straight merely because Roy was his superior. Now, in the face of the colonel's impending wrath, Edward merely grinned more fiercely, lowered his eyelashes in a seductive look Roy would generally be more than interested to see on him, and purred. "Viagra."

The silence stretched, and stretched, and then stretched a little bit more until Ed finally gave up his triumphant look and slouched back into his seat, scowling across a table with a look of complete disappointment. Roy's face was granite, and that was okay for the first few seconds, but Ed had really hoped for yelling of some kind, sputtering even. It had been a good idea.

Ed was just considering wanding around the table to poke his lover when Roy finally relaxed and took another sip of coffee. "Ah," and Roy, being much better at the game than Ed, didn't so much as hint a smile when the other's jaw dropped to the table.

"What!"

Later, Roy was going to be very, very tired. And, of course, there would be revenge to think about. But for now, the look of surprise on Edward's face fading away to unease as Roy finished his first mug of coffee and refilled it from the carafe was enough.

Several minutes later Edward looked sorely beaten, and grumbling about colonels that were going to be in the hospital by the end of the day, poured himself a cup as well.