So, I was writing this at work (#devotedworker) and it was meant to lead into porn, but it turned into friendship fluff. I'm confused. I didn't know I could write non-porno anymore. Also, this is my first Remus/Sirius fic, which is weird because they're my OTP. I guess I never thought I'd do them justice. Tell me what you think!
Enjoy!
-Forbala-
THE BROOM CUPBOARD
"Moony? What're you doing?"
Remus looked up to see Sirius in the door of the dormitory, looking cautious and worried.
"Oh, uh…just studying."
"That's all you seem to do lately," Sirius said, walking towards him. Remus closed his book on his parchment warily as Sirius approached and sat beside him on the bed.
"That's all I've ever done," Remus said, avoiding his friend's gaze.
"More than usual." Remus shrugged and that sat in silence momentarily before Sirius continued. "What's up? What's going on with you? You're hardly around. Even Pete's noticed."
"I've just been busy with classes."
"Not so busy."
"I have a lot going on. With the full moons—"
"You've had that for ages."
"—And classes are getting harder—"
"You're keeping up fine."
"—And I swear, Slughorn's out to get me—"
"Don't lie to me. He loves you and dammit, look at me!"
Remus looked at Sirius, looked him in the eye, for the first time in weeks. He saw the Black boy's anger, but beneath that were fear and worry and loneliness. Remus hadn't realized how much his own fears had affected Sirius over these past weeks.
"I'm sorry," Remus whispered, looking away again.
"For what? Why aren't you around anymore? What's wrong?" Sirius pleaded.
"I'm sorry for causing you so much pain. It wasn't my intention."
"Fuck that. It doesn't matter if you hurt me. I want to know why you're hurt."
"It's nothing."
"Merlin, will you stop lying to me? I've known you for years. You can't lie to me; I'm the one who taught you how."
"Can't you just leave me alone?" Remus begged weakly.
"Like hell."
"Fine. You want to know what's wrong? I think I…I'm gay."
There was silence for half a second while Sirius took that in. But, as he was wont to do, he spoke exactly what he thought. And he was angry.
"And you didn't think you could tell us? You thought you had to drop us before we dropped you? Remus, we still love you, no matter who you love. And we're not letting you go that easily. You should know that."
Remus smiled. Leave it to Sirius to be loyal without thought and despite anything. "It's not so much that—"
"But that was part of it, huh?"
"A bit, yeah, though I knew it was bonkers. But mostly I was afraid of myself. And other people. I'm not just a werewolf, I'm a flaming queer."
"Don't talk about yourself like that!" Sirius flared, suddenly furious. Remus smiled again, because he couldn't ask for a better, more caring friend.
"Sorry. But being a werewolf wasn't bad enough, I have to be a gay werewolf. I'm a double outcast."
"Doesn't matter. You are who you are. You can't change it any more than I can change who my family is."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Well, I know. You're perfect the way you are, Moony, and don't you ever forget it."
"I wish I could be as sure of myself as you are, Padfood. I wish I had your confidence."
"You are so much braver than any of us, Remus, don't you see? Do you think any of us could handle werewolfism as half so well as you do? My parents would've pushed off on someone else or locked me up, or more likely just tossed me in the streets. Peter would've had a nervous breakdown. James is the only one who would stand a chance at normalcy, but he'd probably just be a bigger wanker." Remus laughed at that. Sirius finished with, "You're incredible."
"Thanks, Padfoot."
"Don't worry about it, you big poof," Sirius joked, ending their heavy conversation. Remus pushed him playfully and they both laughed.
"You want to tell Prongs and Wormtail, or wait a bit?"
"I think I'll wait a bit. Just a little at a time."
"I'll be right there when you tell them, whenever you tell them. I'll be there when you tell your parents and anyone else. You just knock on my door and I'll do whatever you want."
Remus smiled at Sirius and hugged him, trying not to fall more in love with him, but the boy was making it very difficult.
