Emmett:
One day, Emmett Cullen was at the grocery store. He was trying to be weird, so he pretended to be gay. He got a box of tampons and walked up to the grocery store clerk. "Do you have any bigger sizes in these?" he said in the gayest voice he could. "Uh…" the clerk said, "You know those are for women, right?" Emmett just stared at him in disbelief. "OH, OF COURSE. MAKE FUN OF THE GAY GUY WHO JUST WANTS TO BUY A BOX OF TAMPONS SO HE CAN BE ONE WITH HIS FEMININE SELF! This always happens to me…" Emmett exclaimed in an extremely girly voice. He stomped off and went to go find the manager. He came back with him and said "Yes, this man right here won't let me buy these because I'M A MAN!" The manager told him "Well, if you want to try whatever you gay people do with these, then be my guest…" and walked away awkwardly. Emmett put his hands on his hips and walked to the checkout counter. He shook the lady's hand and said "Oh my gawd, your hands are so soft. They're like butter!" he whispered softly. The lady just stared at him as he slowly walked away. Unfortunately for Emmett, Edward was standing outside, so he heard everything Emmett did!!!
