Someday Has Already Arrived

Author's Note: Episode 'extension' for Cinderella in the Cardboard because I felt like that scene deserve more. As always, Bones and Booth do not belong to me.

She has been in my apartment for more than three hours and outside, the grey evening has deepened into the blackness of night. My bottle of good Scotch is empty and we are both reclining on the sofa, her head resting against my shoulder and my arm draped around her. For the past while we have both been silent and I am acutely aware of how comfortable we are sharing stillness together. In the time since our conversation halted, I have been turning over the day's events in my mind and mentally listening again to her talking about the jealousy she feels towards those of us who believe in the transcendence of love. There is something I need to say to her about the subject, but she has become so quiet and restful that I am reluctant to break the moment with my voice. Instead of speaking, I allow myself to be hypnotized by the steady rhythm of her exhalations and the feel of her warm breath against my neck.

We remain quiet for another half hour before the moment is unceremoniously broken by a rumble from my stomach. Her head snaps up to look at me and I do my best to smile apologetically. Suddenly, she draws back from our loose embrace and looks mildly horrified.

"I am so sorry, Booth. You were on your way out to eat when I got here and now I've been here for hours- you must be starving!"

"No need to apologize Bones. I'm fine," I smile again to reassure her that I am being truthful.

"I should go and let you get some dinner," she begins to pull away from me in order to stand and I gently tug her back against me.

"No need to leave Bones. We can just order something in and share," I allow my fingers to brush some strands of hair off her forehead as I speak. Every once in awhile I dare myself to touch her in these personal ways just to feel the caress of her skin against my fingers and to test the blurry boundaries between us.

She settles back against my shoulder and I feel her relax again as she murmurs her agreement with my plan, "Thanks Booth- didn't you say something about Chinese food before??"

Chuckling, I reach for the phone and place our order not even bothering to ask her what she wants. When I hang up from the call, I decide to broach the conversation that has been fluttering inside my mind for the last hour.

"You know Bones, I've been thinking about what you said before," I begin a bit hesitantly since I am not sure she wants to retrace a conversation that obviously made her sad.

"What I said about what?" she lifts her head off my shoulder again to inquire.

"When you said you were jealous of me because I want to lose myself in someone else- I think you have the wrong idea." I can see her eyes begin to cloud with confusion and I am quick to clarify. "I think you had the wrong idea about love, not that you were wrong about me believing in it. Being in love with someone isn't about losing yourself- it's more about finding yourself. When you are in love with the right person, they help you find the best possible version of who you can be. In true love, the other person strengthens your weaknesses and brings light to the darkest spaces of your soul- someone who can sense what you need and who supports you through everything. Someone you can trust with every secret and with whom you can share a type of emotional and physical intimacy that you never find with anyone else. When you are in love, you have a best friend and a true companion in every aspect of that word. It's about finding someone who fits with you so perfectly that you create a private universe where only the two of you exist."

Bones is listening intently to me and her blue eyes, more vivid that usual with the glaze of alcohol across them, study my face as I talk. Her tongue darts out to lick her lips and her gaze drops down – it is her posture when she wants to ask me something that she is unsure is a safe topic. As always, I give her time to process her thoughts and reach a decision about what she wants to say. Finally, her face turns back up to me and she voices her query.

"Have you ever had that? True love?" her voice is so soft I have to lean closer to make sure I hear her. After she asks, I find myself taking a deep breath because I know that the honest answer may cause a seismic shift in our relationship. After considering my options, I decide to try and respond with degree of vagueness.

"I think so." She continues to regard me with a thoughtful expression and I can almost hear the synapses crackling in her brain as she works through my response and tries to discern its meaning. A small smile plays across her lips and when she speaks again, her voice is still soft, but it is filled with emotion.

"I am glad you explained it to me. Now that you have clarified, I have reconsidered my previous statements. You are correct- I was wrong about several things and now I know that my position on this subject is not what I had originally proposed."

"Oh, really?" I am surprised that she has changed her perspective so quickly.

"Yes. If love truly is the way you have just described it, then I can certainly believe in it and I actually know what it is like to have love in my life."

Suddenly I am nervous about this conversation and I have a sinking feeling that she is about to tell me that she shared that feeling with Sully, or Michael, or some other man. I try to feign genuine enthusiasm when I speak, "That's great Bones. You deserve to have true love- no one deserves it more."

She smiles again and her expression shifts to one that I am not sure I have seen before. It is a combination of her usual intelligence and a new kind of wonderment as if she has just discovered something.

"Well, if true love is about having a best friend who you can trust with your secrets and who helps you be a better person than I have definitely experienced it." Her eyes have darkened to a tempestuous shade of blue and she is watching me closely. "And I think that someday has already arrived."

When she has finished speaking, I feel her fingers brush across the back of my wrist and as I rotate my palm up, her hand slides into mine and closes. Looking down at our joined hands, I suddenly understand what she means. She is saying that it is me- that I am the one with whom she has experienced true love. My fingers tighten instinctively as I look back up into her eyes and see what I have hoped for over the past two years. Her face is unguarded and the emotions in her eyes are pure.

"Bones…" my voice is a hoarse whisper, "are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"That depends on what you think I am saying," even in the gravity of this moment, she teases me.

"Am I the one who helped you get to someday?" I find myself unable to breathe as I wait for her to answer.

"You are the only one who could Booth," her voice is confident and steady.

"I love you too," her response makes me brave in my own confessions.

"I'm glad," her words are muffled in quiet laughter.

As we lean towards each other and our lips meet I realize that I was absolutely right- this is about finding the best version of yourself and the other who makes you a whole person. And she is right too – there is no one else who could do this for me. We belong together in our own private universe and I want to stay there with her for the rest of my life.