Author's Note – Yeah, you can only hear Dean refer to Sam as a girl so many times before you end up writing this. Again, no Wincest, no romance of any kind, just a little fic laughing at Sam's expense. It's set early in the series. Enjoy!
All the Girls Love Sam
Sam scowled as he scanned the news reports on his laptop. He was holed up in a deserted diner, sheltered from the raging wind outside, doing research for the latest hunt. He and Dean came to the small, coastal New England town when they had first heard about the half-eaten corpses that were appearing all over town. So far, there wasn't much for Sam to go on. Any number of demons could have killed and devoured the victims, and the victims themselves didn't give the Winchester brothers any clues. So far, the only they had in common was that they were all male. I hope Dean is having better luck than I am, Sam thought.
"Anything that I can get you?"
Sam nearly jumped out of his seat. He had been so engrossed in his research that he hadn't even heard the waitress approach. Oh, real smooth Sam, and you're supposed to be a hunter? Sam winced inwardly as he thought, Just be glad Dean didn't see that.
Sam glanced up at the girl who was holding a coffeepot in her hand, looking at him expectantly. He hadn't noticed her when he came in. In fact, he thought he had been alone aside from the owner, a large, angry-looking woman who suspiciously reminded Sam of every single lunchlady he had ever had in school. Sam glanced at her nametag, 'Lorelei' it read.
"Um… yeah, a cup of coffee would be nice." Sam finally said, giving her a small smile before turning back to his computer.
"Been in town long?"
Sam sighed inwardly. She wanted talk. Too bad Dean wasn't here. He'd be soaking up the attention. In a strange way, Sam was kind of grateful that Dean always flirted with the girls. It meant that he didn't have to. He hadn't been able to since Jess…
"No, just arrived today." Sam said as he watched her slid into the booth across from him.
"Oh, well I would love to show you the sights." She said, propping her arms onto the table in such a way to make sure that Sam noticed her cleavage.
"That's… that's very nice of you, but I won't be staying for long." Sam noticed that his reply actually seemed to surprise her.
"You know, when I said 'show you the sights', I meant-" She began.
"I know what you meant." Sam interrupted in an attempt to stop her from going any further. This was definitely not a conversation he wanted to get into.
Suddenly, she gave him a slow, sweet smile. "You're not like most guys, you know?" She said. "Most men are shallow, evil creatures whose sole purpose in life is to lust after women, but not you."
"Uh, thank you?"
She suddenly reached out and touched his hand. "You're special. You're not like other men. It's almost like you're one of the girls."
Sam felt a rough arm suddenly wrap around his shoulder. "Yeah, that's our little Samantha all right. It's all slumber parties and training bras for her."
Sam groaned out loud while Dean just grinned at him. Sam had a feeling that he was not going to hear the end of this one for quite some time. "Come on, Sammy. Time to go." Sam quickly closed his computer and followed his brother out of the diner, rubbing his hand against his jeans as he did. For some reason, it felt strangely numb.
SDSDSDSD
Sam slowly blinked his eyes open as all of the strange and disgusting smells that seem to permeate throughout their cheap motel room flooded his nose. A whole day of investigating and he and Dean were still at square one. He yawned and closed his eyes again, knowing that Dean probably wouldn't be up for another hour. He had spent most of the night at some local bar, too irritated and antsy about the way this hunt was going to stay inside the motel.
"Well, well, well, it looks like somebody had a good time last night."
What the hell was Dean going on about? Sam opened his eyes again and glared at his brother. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Dean, especially when he's being weird.
Sam's glare seemed to have no effect, however, as Dean merely threw his arms up and laughed. "Hey, Sam!" Dean suddenly called out, as though his brother was somewhere far away and not lying in the bed in front of him. "You better hurry up and get out of the bathroom. I think your girlfriend's about to have a hissy fit."
Sam sat up straight in the bed, scowling at his older brother. "What the hell are you talking… about…" Sam trailed off as he heard himself speak. He just spoke with a girl's voice. He looked down. He had a girl's body. Panic flooded every fiber of Sam's body as he stared at his brother, stricken. "DEAN!" She yelled, wincing at the high screech she had just emitted. "WHAT THE HELL!?"
Sam watched as Dean's face went through a myriad of emotions. First confusion, then understanding, next came horror, panic, worry, and anger.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Dean yelled.
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Sam yelled back.
"Well, obviously you did something." Dean snapped. "You're a freakin' girl, Sam. What the fuck?!"
"DON'T YELL AT ME!" Sam screeched, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Great, she thought, I'm a girl and I'm CRYING!
Dean grabbed his jacket; he was still wearing the clothes he had on the day before. "I… I need to be somewhere… that's… away…. Stay here… and don't do anything else!" Before Sam could even reply Dean had fled the room.
Sam sat there in shock for what seemed like hours. Finally, he slowly seemed to come out of it and soon his curiosity got the better of him. He looked down his shirt. "Wow... that's a big rack."
To be continued…
