hello! This is a rewrite of my other story Tender Torture because I knew it could be better than I had originally written it as and I apologize! I hope people will actually read this one :) short beginning chapter but they will get longer! Thank you for reading and please review!


All along the eastern shore
Put your circuits in the sea
This is what the world is for
Making electricity
You can feel it in your mind
Oh you can do it all the time
Plug it in and change the world
You are my electric girl


Katniss Everdeen pressed her pillow against her face and tried to suffocate herself. Anymore nightmares waking her up in the middle of the night and she would jump out of her bedroom window.

With a heavy sigh, she pushed her pillow away and kicked off her covers. Snow fell lazily outside of her window and Katniss pressed her palm against the glass until her heart stopped thumping painfully in her chest. The air in her room tasted stale and hot. She wanted to throw open her window but she knew her mother would be angry if Katniss let their hot air seep out.

Katniss sat on her bed and tugged her boots on, lacing them tightly. She didn't bother with a jacket, but she carefully crept down the stairs so she wouldn't disturb Prim or their mother.

Successfully on the second floor, Katniss pushed open her front door and stepped out into the cold night. The freezing cold air knocked the breath clean out of her lungs and woke her up fully.

It had only been a few months since the Games. Katniss rarely saw Haymitch since he was holed up in his house with bottles upon bottles of alcohol. She didn't know what she expected. She almost thought since her and Peeta won, maybe Haymitch wouldn't be such an alcohol. But she really knew he'd be back to drinking as soon as the train doors closed behind him.

Peeta, on the other hand, Katniss had seen a lot of. Haymitch had turned back to alcohol and Katniss had turned to Peeta, oddly enough. When the pair arrived in District 12, Katniss knew Peeta wouldn't want to be around her. He had, after all, found out that all of those kisses and words Katniss had said in the arena weren't real.

But that was another thing she wasn't right about. And another weird thing was that it was Katniss who found her way to Peeta, not the other way around.

Katniss had sex with Peeta. She was no longer a virgin.

It was weird to think about. Katniss hadn't even kissed anyone a few months back and then suddenly she loses her virginity to a boy who loved her. Who she didn't love back.

And it wasn't just a onetime thing. Katniss found herself in Peeta's room more times than she cared to admit. It was always after a nightmare and afterward as she's tugging on her clothes, she actually feels better. After the first few times, she had come to the conclusion that it made her mind go completely blank when she was with him. She forgot her nightmares and the arena and those horrible mutts as soon as his lips were against her.

Maybe it wasn't the kind of therapy she needed, but she didn't care. Peeta didn't either. Katniss told him she didn't feel the same, and he would shrug and tell her he knew she didn't.

Katniss rolled her eyes and stepped further out into her front yard. Then she carefully walked three doors down, trying not to slip on ice.

Peeta was sitting on his front steps, staring blankly at the snow. He blinked when Katniss came into view and he lifted his head from his arms.

"Hi," she said, rubbing her arms.

"Hi," he replied. His eyes were slightly puffy and they looked slightly angry. She wondered if he'd been crying, but it wasn't any of her business. She took a seat next to him and tucked her knees close to her chest.

"Couldn't sleep?" Peeta asked. He wasn't looking at her; he was back to staring at the snow.

"No, not really," Katniss answered. She wanted him to kiss her but she knew he wouldn't move without her moving first. Tonight wasn't a good night, though because Katniss had thrown up all morning. Her mother wasn't quite sure what she had, but she gave her some herbal tea and told her to rest.

Either way, Katniss didn't want to give whatever she had to Peeta. Besides, she had been thinking about it earlier and she decided maybe she should find a better way to fix herself. She couldn't rely on Peeta to pick up her pieces and glue them back together for her. She needed to do it herself.

"Me neither."

"Do you want to…?" Katniss trailed off and gestured toward his front door. Peeta always helped fight off her nightmares ever since they were in the caves. She always slept peacefully when she was in his arms.

He seemed to know exactly what she was talking about. No sex, just sleep.

Peeta leads Katniss up the familiar path to his room. She kicked off her boots and crawled underneath the covers. Peeta slipped in a few seconds later and pulled her into his arms. Her fingers curled against his chest and she snuggled against him.

Just as she suspected, she was asleep within minutes.


The next morning, Katniss climbed out of an empty bed, blinking up at the sun streaming through the window. Sleepily, she pulled her boots on and headed down the stairs.

Peeta was in the kitchen, pulling a fresh loaf of bread out of his oven. Katniss could smell the turkey she brought him the other day cooking and her hand automatically went over her mouth. She was going to throw up. She spun away from the kitchen and shoved open the door to the hallway bathroom. She retched into the toilet but nothing came up. She hadn't eaten since the morning before she started vomiting.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asked from behind her. He touched her back softly and she sat up, wiping her hand across the back of the mouth.

"I'm sick," she said simply. She rinsed out her mouth in the sink, ignoring Peeta's curious eyes. "I'm going to go back home," she told him, pressing her cold hands against her cheeks.

"Okay," Peeta said, watching her.

She left his house, crossing her arms against the chilly morning air. The world spun around her, a white blur, and she paused, pressing her hands to her head and willing the world to just stop. The nausea passed seconds later and Katniss pushed open her front door.

"There you are."

Katniss blinked at her mom seated at the kitchen table and nodded. She just wanted to go lie down for a while. No hunting today. She wasn't sure if her stomach could handle that.

"Katniss, come here."

Katniss shook her head. "I'm not feeling well. I'm just going to go-"

"Katniss."

Her mother's tone made Katniss freeze. She turned and her mother gestured to the chair across from her. Katniss took the seat and rested her chin in her hands, slightly annoyed.

"Katniss, I have to ask you something and I need you to answer it truthfully."

"Okay," she grumbled.

"Have you had sex?"

"What?" Katniss gasped, sitting up, fully paying attention now. There was no possible way her mother could know she was sleeping with Peeta. Neither of them told anyone.

"Have you?"

"Why?"

"This is serious, Katniss," her mother said, her tone firm. "I need to know."

"Why?" Katniss asked again. She could feel her face heating up, hot blood slowly creeping up her neck and settling on her cheeks. She had never been more embarrassed.

"I think you're pregnant."

Her mother might as well kicked Katniss in the throat. Her words had the same effect.

"Pregnant?!" Katniss cried, her voice shrill.

"I said I think. You've been sick and you were describing the same thing another girl had last week. I gave her a pregnancy test and she was pregnant. So, are you sexually active?"

"Oh my God." Katniss dropped her head in her hands and breathed out roughly. Pregnant? She could be pregnant? Katniss didn't even want any kids at all, let alone at sixteen.

"Uh, yes." She finally said, her head still down, her voice muffled coming through her arms.

"Come on then. Let's give you a test."


Katniss was pregnant. The test came out positive and her mother had just stared at her until Katniss left her room. She trudged back across the snow, glaring at her footprints from the night before.

She didn't bother knocking on Peeta's front door. She stomped in and found Peeta still in the kitchen, sitting at the dining table and sketching in his book. He looked up when she came in.

"Hi," he said, frowning slightly.

"I'm pregnant," Katniss blurted.

"Shit" was all Peeta said, and Katniss thought it summed up things pretty nicely.