This is a very old story. I've re-written some of the chapters and replaced the old with new.
I hope you enjoy x
'BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME EH OLD PAL! SORRY ABOUT THE TYRES! SEND ME THE BILL! TOOOOOOOOODDDLLLESSSS!' The Joker screamed as his S-laughter mobile sped away with Harley Quinn at the wheel. The duo turned sharply into a poorly lit alleyway, narrowly escaping the caped crusader and his Batmobile. Batman screeched the Batmobile to a halt, fuming. His ripped tyres couldn't take any more damage. The Joker's laugh still echoed through the abandoned streets.
'Yes, next time…old pal.'
'URGH! So close!' So goddamn close,' The Joker slammed his fists on his office desk. Papers flew in every direction. He put his head down but snapped it up and spun around 'Harley! Have you taken 'screwing up my plans' as a hobby have you? HOW HARD IS IT TO LIGHT A FEW STICKS OF DYNAMITE?' The Joker threw an un-lit stick of dynamite hard at Harley who lifted her arms over her head to protect herself.
'But boss! I weren't my fault it began to rain!'
'WHAT? The Joker shouted, 'Harley, I had it all nicely set up…nicely set up,' he repeated in a heavy breath. 'The dynamite, the laughing gas, the hyenas,' he began to pace. 'I risked not feeding them for a few days, so the taste of Black Ninja rodent would seem more appetizingBOOM! THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BOOM!' He waved his hands above his head. 'But no, all I heard was a squeaky little voice screaming, 'The matches are wet!' He grabbed Harley by her hat as he said this, emphasizing the 'T' in 'wet' through his teeth. Harley's eyes filled with fright.
'I'm…I'm sorry Mistah J. At least I got us away again.'
'That's not the point you stupid girl! I'm the one who shot his front tyres! He would have caught us if I hadn't have done that!' He shoved Harley away. She lost her balance and fell backwards, just missing the edge of the desk.
'I want my boom.' The Joker muttered as he left the room. He popped his head around the door again 'Kay?' The door slammed behind him.
Harley put her head down into arms and wept silently.
Around that time in the Bat cave
Batman paced angrily. Robin was sitting down nursing his wounded arm. 'He's quick alright. Especially when it's just him and that bouncing fruit loop.' He said, wincing as he pulled off one of his torn gloves, exposing his battle wound. Alfred appeared with a first-aid-kit. 'Maybe you really should send him the bill, hahaOW!' Robin frowned suddenly at Alfred who was applying medical alcohol to Robin's gash.
'May I suggest something sir'
'Anything Alfred' Batman said in an impatient sigh.
'Well, although our clown is extremely independent and intelligent, he is still human and at the same time, needs his woman as well. Take her away and it's one less problem in the way of you catching our 'old pal'.'
'He works just as well without Quinn, Alfred.'
'Yes, but what if he knows that she won't be there cheering at the sidelines.'
'Alfred, I hope you don't mean we…'
'No, of course not. Perhaps get her help before the jokes on her. Not only will you capture The Joker but also you'll be saving Miss Quinzel. Send her Arkham and arrange for some serious psychological sessions and attention. Try to get her to lose this sick infatuation with The Joker. I have known it to have worked.'
'That's not going to be easy, she won't go voluntarily, you know.' Robin said with serious doubt.
Batman spoke up. 'Perhaps it is possible. Harleen still studied psychology. That's not knowledge that you just forget. Robin's right though, it's not going to be easy. I'm guessing at least a couple of years of therapy. That is, if she doesn't succeed in escaping first.'
'Now all we need to do is find her.' Robin reminded.
The Joker entered his study sometime later to sweat over his next hilarious but deadly plan. He flicked the light switch on which only emitted a dull glow over the large empty room. His desk and one plastic chair stood in the middle. The desktop had disappeared under the years and years of failed plans, unfinished plans, random papers and candy wrappers. One corner of the room had a small bookcase. Only really for decoration because every single book that lay on the dusty shelves were years out of date. A spring exposed couch provided little comfort to The Joker, but he couldn't be bothered to get rid of it. Harley hadn't left. She had crawled over to the sofa and had propped herself upside down so her legs were up the back of the sofa and her head was just slightly over the edge. She had her face covered by an out of date encyclopaedia from the bookshelf. She had fallen asleep in that position.
'Harley?' He said loudly. Harley awoke with a start and with a small squeal, fell off the sofa. She gingerly sat up and rubbed her head.
'Are you okay, my dear?' The Joker questioned, quickly wiping the smirk off his face, turning it into a sickly sympathetic frown before Harley could look up. Harley squinted up hazily. 'Yeah, I think so boss.'
The Joker squatted down in front of her and rested his head on his hand, grinning. 'You really are a sweet kid you know. And I've seen what you can do.' He lifted her head up gently and smiled in the nicest way he could manage. Harley's face brightened.
'Aw Mistah J, you know I'd never let ya down!' she flirted. The Joker nodded and brought her lips closer to his. He hesitated to listen to her quickened breathing and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. Harley couldn't move. She felt paralysed, unsure of what to expect. The suspense was unbearable when at last his lips were almost touching hers and with one romantic breath he finally said, 'Get out…'
'Ww…what?' Harley stuttered, her face falling.
'Get out!' The Joker said louder.
'But puddin'!'
'OUT! I have so much to do because of you!' Harley scampered up and quickly ran out of the room. The Joker grumbled, jumped up and began to walk over to his desk. He nearly tripped over the book that Harley had just before. He picked it up and it fell to the page Harley was reading. She had circled and underlined words defining the word 'Psychopath'. The Joker screwed up his face. 'Oh sweetie, you know these books are 100 years out of date.' He chuckled to himself and he threw the book aside.
