A/N: Yes, I know, another Ibiki story. This time Ibiki is a lot less threatening than in my other fic "Welcome Back, Kankurou." No, I'm definitely not name-dropping that fic for the purpose of promotion. Anyways, HanaIbiki. Enjoy the crack pairing, I find it incredibly cute. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
It was when he walked into the office that he had the privilege of finding out how it felt to be the sole reason why a really good joke was killed. The loud, healthy laughter shared between the two women at the time when he arrived was now replaced with a perilously awkward silence, and the younger of the two was now staring him down with a gaze so blistering and fierce, it could only be done by an Inuzuka.
"I have work to do," she said stiffly, throwing another threatening look at Ibiki before leaving the room. He watched her leave, not at all shocked by her treatment of him, and turned back to the woman still standing in front of him.
"She just doesn't like you very much," Tsume said sympathetically, her eyebrow raised. It was the closest she could get to an apology without actually apologizing, done more so out of habit and good manners than sparing Ibiki's feelings.
"Who does?" he grunted in return.
The Inuzuka laughed. "You're right on that one," she teased with a good-humored smile. "So what can I do for you today? It's not every day you get the renowned chief of the Interrogation Force strutting into the veterinary office."
His disgruntled expression swiftly darkened into one of suspicion as his eyes shifted from left to right, checking his surroundings for unwanted eyes and wandering ears.
"Calm yourself, Morino. There's nobody else in this room but me."
"Fine," he replied, his voice still a low hiss. "His name's Onbin Kairai. Recent uncovered information links one of our high-ranked prisoners to him. He's not currently listed as a priority case, so surveillance on him is relatively low. But get this: the few keeping tabs on him lost track of him, and since then nothing's been done to relocate him. That lucky son-of-a-bitch is getting away with everything!"
"I see. And what has the Hokage said about this?"
He suddenly looked uneasy. "She, eh, doesn't know about it yet," he murmured, adjusting the collar of his coat for no reason.
"Aha! I knew there was a catch!" She stuck her finger accusingly in his face. "You're always sneaking around, you bloody nincompoop."
"So I sort of obtained unauthorized information using unauthorized means. The job wouldn't get done otherwise. Damn it, Tsume! Damn bureaucracy! My hunches are always right, I'm entitled to act upon them at will!"
She watched his growling tirade in amusement. "And you need my help because—?"
He calmed down considerably at her sign of interest, and the inflamed vein in his neck ceased its throbbing. "Tsunade will only listen to me if I've got a plan of action already prepared. If I've got you behind my back there's no way she can say no."
"I'm assuming this isn't the first time you've done this, then."
"The Hokage doesn't understand the importance of these things. She puts too much trust in those Jounin kids. Over me. My expertise. What do they know? Anyone can become Jounin these days!"
Tsume folded her arms in annoyance. "Oi, Ibiki. Even our most elite are mediocre to you. That's my son you're talking about. You're never pleased!" She gestured wildly at him with her rising temper.
"Your son is a most definite exception," he smirked suddenly, and Tsume had the feeling that he was simply pandering to get on her good side. "All the Inuzuka are. I'll need the best trackers Konoha has seen in the past decade for this highly prestigious mission. That's why I came to you." He put a hand on his heart. "You owe me, Tsume. Let's not forget that."
"You're still bringing that up?" she sighed. "I most definitely do not owe you. That 'thank you' gift basket I sent you was enough."
"Let's hear what Kiba has to say about you likening his career advancement to a gift basket with a couple of chocolate bars."
"There was more in it than that! Anyhow, if I knew you'd be this demanding, I'd have never asked you to recommend Kiba for promotion."
"But you did, and it paid off, did it not?" he pressed. "That's what friends do. They do favors for each other, because they care. Won't you be a good friend and do this favor for me?"
It was an odd sight to see the towering, burly man holding his palms together beseechingly, a pleading look on his face.
"All right, all right," she relented at last. "I'll think about your request."
"That's all? You're just going to think about it?"
"I'm going to very seriously consider it, how's that?"
"That's not good enough."
"Everything's not good enough to you," Tsume retorted, rolling her eyes. She began to force him out by gently guiding him by the shoulders to the door. "I told you my reply. Go home and rest. Calm yourself down a bit, you've gotten yourself too worked up."
"I'll come back tomorrow. I'll expect your approval then."
"Get out of here!"
She watched with a grin as the man left and the door swung behind him. Hana must have heard the small bell attached to it jingle for as soon as Ibiki was gone she appeared in the room.
"You really shouldn't talk to him, Mom," she said sternly.
With a wave of her hand and a friendly scoff, she replied, "And why not?"
"You know what he does."
The elder woman walked up to her daughter and affectionately tousled her hair, to the girl's chagrin. "Ah, so that's what you mean," Tsume replied. "You know, I knew Ibiki before he joined the Force, and before he became famously known as the kuroi kabe, as you kids call him. I can't say I agree with everything he does, but it'd be harder for me to call him a bad man." She paused for a moment, as if recollecting a faint memory. "My first paid job was baby-sitting for him and his brother, did you know that?"
"Swell," replied Hana bitterly. Her arms had folded sometime during her mother's previous monologue. "The only word that comes to my mind to describe you right now is 'hypocrite.'"
Tsume chuckled. "You're completely right, Hana."
"So? What about what you told Kiba and me about Dad?"
"And here I thought you'd be pleased enough to hear me admit that you're right," Tsume said with a weary sigh. "As long as you're not planning on joining the Interrogation Force anytime soon, I'll deal. What I said about your father was true, and I still stand by it, too. You can't control everything in the world, Hana. One day you'll learn that."
"No one has to learn that. That's just common sense."
"Ah, Hana, quit your griping and get back to work." Tsume groaned and ran her fingers through her wild hair. "I don't need you being ludicrously stubborn like me. That's why men don't like Inuzuka women."
"Good," answered the young woman in a huff, as she made her way to the other room to continue her work. "All the men in this town suck anyway."
I used the word "nincompoop." I'm not sure how long this fic will be, but I do know next chapter will be much longer than this one. This was a short, little introduction piece, just to warm up the story. Reviews are highly appreciated and regarded!
kuroi kabe: black wall
Onbin Kairai: Quiet Puppet, literally. Surname listed first. If there's a lapse in my humble attempts at incorporating Japanese into my fic, let me know. :)
