How I Met Your Mother and all its affiliated characters and locations belong to CBS, Craig Thomas, and Carter Bays. The plot for this story comes from myself and fellow HIMYM junkie T-Money. I am making no profit from it.
"Kids, in the summer of 2012, your aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall were learning how to be new parents. All new parents go through this. I went through the same thing with your mom. And when you become new parents, you'll understand exactly what it means. But for now suffice it to say they were acting a little... stressed."
"You sonofabitch!" Lily hissed at Marshall. Marshall was currently standing in the middle of the apartment with Marvin screaming his lungs out in his arms.
"Oh, what now, Lily?" Marshall asked with a frustrated groan. Ever since they had brought Marvin home from the hospital, Lily had been calling Marshall a sonofabitch for this and a sonofabitch for that. Add to that the fact that Marvin hadn't stopped crying at all in the last three days, and Marshall was at the end of his patience.
"You ate the last granola bar!" Lily whined. "I was saving that bar. Now what am I supposed to eat?" Lily hadn't slept those three days, so she was a little whinier then... her kindergarteners.
"I don't know Lil, how about anything else? I had one granola bar, you ate the rest of the box! Sorry I didn't psychically pick up on the fact that you'd feel the need to finish off the entire box yourself!" Marshall shouted.
"And that led to a two hour argument about granola bars. Needless to say this made it a little difficult to get the gang together anymore. Especially with the way your Aunt Robin was acting. You see, ever since Uncle Barney announced his engagement to Quinn, Robin had been avoiding him like the plague. Barney didn't notice, he was spending all his time with Quinn. The only person to notice was me."
"Hey Marshall, wanna go get a drink downstairs?" Ted asked as he popped into the apartment.
"I can't Ted. I can't leave Lily and the baby here while I go out with you." Marshall said tiredly.
"C'mon, you can't come down for ten minutes? I never see you guys anymore! Any of you! You and Lily are shut up in the apartment, Barney's constantly off with Quinn somewhere, and I haven't seen Robin in weeks! I think she's avoiding us!" Ted was exasperated at this point. He was also lonely. He missed his friends.
"Ted, eight or higher dude. Eight or higher." Marshall responded, annoyed.
"Marshall, this is eight or higher to me! But apparently what's important to me doesn't matter to you anymore. Forget it." Ted turned and walked out the door.
"Ted, c'mon man, TED!" Marshall called after his best friend. But Ted didn't even pause as he walked away. With a frustrated sigh, Marshall slammed the door shut.
"So you see, our gang was going through what could be described as the roughest patch ever. There was every possibility that this would be the end for us. But, fortunately, the universe had other plans, ones that it was setting in motion that very minute.
THAT VERY MINUTE:
THE LUSTY LEOPARD
"But what do you want from me?" Jasmine cried at the two large men in black suits.
"Ma'am, its very simple. Either produce your green card, or face deportation." The INS agent explained once again. Truth be told, he really felt sorry for this one. It's bad enough getting caught up with the Russian mob, but when she finally works up the courage to leave her enforcer boyfriend, the organization sets out to have her deported back to Siberia.
"But, I have green card. I... just... lost it...in a fire." Man, this Jasmine could not lie to save her life, which she very well may be trying to do. It wasn't out of the question that the mob had a 'welcoming committee' waiting for her in Russia. He decided to give her a chance.
"Well, in that case, you have thirty days to show us a current green card, work visa, or marriage certificate, otherwise we will be forced to deport you. Do you understand?" He asked. At her enthusiastic yes, the team of INS agents filed out of the strip club.
Oh, Jasmine understood alright. She understood exactly how screwed she was. Deportation was a death sentence for her. She needed to figure out how to stay in the US. She needed legal advice, and she had seen just the bus ad on who to go to. " Señor Justicia, I hope you can help." Jasmine muttered as she left the club.
The next day, Jasmine was sitting outside Señor Justicia's office. When it was her turn, she walked in and sat before the lawyer. Despite everything else going on, Jasmine couldn't help but admire what a handsome man he was. Tall, broad-shouldered, and with the sexiest mustache ever, she felt pulled to him. "Hello, my name is Jasmine. I hope you can help me, Señor Justicia." She pleaded. The lawyer waved his hand, and said with only a slightly Mexican accent:
"Please, that Señor Justicia stuff is just for the ad's. My name is Enrique Marsh." He leaned forward and shook her hand across the desk. "How can I help you today?" He asked the lovely woman in front of him. Jasmine told him the entire story, from the mob to INS. Enrique sat quietly and listened to her whole story. By the time she was finished, he had several ideas on how to help her. He sat up straighter in his seat and began to write.
"This is the number for a human rights advocacy group. I want you to call them, and tell the associate they assign to you everything you just told me. Then, with their help, I can begin to compile what we'll need to see that you stay here in New York for as long as you want." Enrique stood, and after a moment Jasmine mimicked his lead. Enrique handed her the page with the number, and shook her hand once more. "Believe me when I say that I will do whatever it takes to help you win." He promised. Jasmine was so taken at this point she couldn't even speak to him, so she nodded dumbly as she left the office.
That afternoon Jasmine met her advocacy associate for coffee before going to work. As she entered a woman wearing a flannel shirt and jeans with a short bob cut stood up and smiled at her. Figuring that this was her advocate, Jasmine walked over and introduced herself. "Hello, I'm Jasmine. You must be from Equality Now?" The woman smiles again and nodded.
"Yes I am. My names Danielle Robbins, but everyone calls me Dan." She said as she shook Jasmine's hand. "Let's sit and talk, shall we?'
After nearly three hours, Jasmine reluctantly got up to go to work. The two women had hit it off famously, Jasmine felt closer to Dan in one afternoon then she had anyone else since arriving in New York five years ago. Everything just seemed to click with them. They had gotten through the case related stuff fairly quickly, and Dan promised to reach out to Enrique and help him on the case. After that, neither had felt like taking right off, so they began talking about anything, then ended up talking about nearly everything. They just felt so utterly comfortable with each other. Dan even revealed her deepest secret to this virtual stranger.
"So, tomorrow I'm going to see a fertility doctor about being artificially inseminated." Dan said serenely. Telling Jasmine just felt so right to her.
Jasmine thought about that statement for a long time. "Congratulations." She finally said. "You and your husband want baby?" She asked. Dan's smile faded a little.
"I have no... partner. And if I did, she wouldn't be able to help me get pregnant anymore then you could." Dan explained succinctly, waiting for the Russian woman's reaction. To her relief, the small redhead merely smiled and nodded.
"Good for you! Just because you like girls doesn't mean you shouldn't have baby." She said. Jasmine liked this woman. Kind, funny, self assured, and unafraid to go after what she wants.
The two women chatted for a few minutes more before Jasmine had to leave to go to work. "But tomorrow, you call after you hear from doctor, yes?" Jasmine asked her newfound friend. Dan nodded.
"Of course." She said with a smile. They hugged and parted company.
The next day Dan was anxiously waiting in the doctors office for the fertility specialist to come in. They had run some tests, and now she'd find out the likelihood of insemination working for her. The next few minutes would determine the course of her future. Quite nerve wracking to sit and wait for that. Finally after what felt like an eternity, the door opened.
"Good morning Ms. Robbins, I'm Dr. Stangel." John introduced himself as he entered the room.
"Good morning doctor. How are you today?"
"Oh, very well thank you. Now, I have your results here to go over with you, if you're ready." Dr. Stangel told her. Dan nodded.
"Very ready. I can't wait." Dr. Stangel could tell that she was nervous, so he gave her a reassuring smile to help settle her.
"It's all good news. Everything looks great, and I think you'd be an excellent candidate for insemination. I have a list of donor candidates if you'd like to look through them?" Dan was nearly crying with a mixture of relief and joy, so she just nodded.
They spent about an hour going through the options. Height, build, health, intelligence, it all genetically factored in. Plus there was the stipulation that she wanted to meet the donor before making the final decision, which limited the search down to those that would be agreeable to that. Finally, Dan felt like she had the one she'd like to meet. Dr. Stangel gave her the contact information and allowed her to call from the exam room while he stepped out for a moment.
While in the hall, one of the receptionist caught his attention. "Dr. Stangel, Enrique is on the phone for you." John smiled at the thought of his old friend.
"Thank you, please tell him that I am currently with a patient, and will call him back as soon as I've finished." He felt sure that it wasn't anything pressing, they called each other at work regularly, usually with an invitation to dinner or drinks.
"Of course, Doctor." The receptionist replied.
That done, John Stangel returned to the exam room. As he peeked in, his patient was just hanging up the phone. "Everything go well?" He asked.
"Yes Doctor. He agreed to meet me tonight, I just have to call him back with a place."
"Good. Then just give me a call tomorrow and let me know if this is the one you've chosen, or if you'd like to review some more of the files." He requested.
"Of course. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me Dr. Stangel, this has been one of the best days of my life." Dan said as she stood and crossed to the door. Shaking his hand, she told him, "I'll call you tomorrow."
"Very good. Take care Ms. Robbins." John said as she left. With that he headed for the office to call his friend back.
In his own office, Enrique Marsh was just finishing up with his own client. "So I'm comfortable with our position, and beg you not to worry." He told Jasmine with a smile. He was normally irritated with clients that just showed out of the blue, but there was something about this woman that he was very enamored with. Just as he showed her to the door, his personal line rang. Jasmine hadn't quite made it out of earshot when he picked up. "Hello? Oh, hello John. No, no problem, just want to know if you'd care to grab a drink tonight. Wonderful! Let's go to that pub on West 86th, between Amsterdam and Columbus. Yes, nine o'clock? Great, great. See you then. Goodbye John." Jasmine hurried out of the waiting room as the doctor hung up, not wanting to be caught eavesdropping.
As she reached the street Jasmine's cell phone rang. "Hello?" She answered.
"Hi, Jasmine it's Dan."
"Oh, hello Dan! How was doctor?"
"It was fantastic Jasmine. The doctor says I'm a great candidate for insemination, and I've chosen a tentative donor. I'm supposed to meet him tonight." Dan hesitated for a minute, before pressing on. "I was wondering if you would come with me? I'm pretty nervous to be honest." She was hoping that her new friend would agree. She wanted some back up, and also wanted to see Jasmine again. She wasn't attracted to her romantically, but did seemed to be drawn to her.
"Of course I will darling. No worries at all. Where are you going to meet?" Jasmine felt the same pull toward Dan, and was relieved that the other woman also wanted the friendship to last. It had been a weird few days for Jasmine, but she was beginning to think that this might be better then what she had before.
"We haven't decided yet, he told me to choose the place and time. Any suggestions?" Jasmine grinned evilly as she thought about being able to support her friend and see the handsome lawyer all in one fell swoop.
"Well, there is a pub I know of..."
At eight thirty that night, Tajo Moscoso walked into the pub with a smile. Overall he was a fairly carefree person. He loved his job, he loved the city, he loved his apartment, he loved everything about his life. His life was so great, he had recently decided to give back to the universe. And here was his first chance. A woman wanted to have a baby, and Tajo was going to help her. She had some more questions about his family history and things like that, but he wasn't worried. The Moscoso line was strong and healthy, and he felt sure that he could set this woman at ease. Stopping inside the door, Tajo looked around until he saw who he thought would be Dan Robbins sitting at a table with another woman. She matched how she had described herself, and she and her friend were both very pretty, so even If he was wrong, he'd still be talking to a pair of pretty girls. So he went over to introduce himself.
"Hõla! I am Tajo. Would you happen to be Dan?" He smiled even wider when she nodded. "Excellent! It is always nice to meet new people, but lovely ladies as yourselves is a very special treat. May I sit?" He asked.
"Of course." Dan said, patting the seat next to her. He sat and they ordered drinks, then Dan turned to him and said, "So tell us about yourself. Your profile says you're a professional athlete?" Tajo nodded.
"Si. I am a professional wrestler, specifically Lucha Libre. It's so much fun, I love it. What do you do?" The three chatted comfortably between them for a while, with Jasmine shooting semi-covert looks at the door everytime the bell chimed. Finally it was the right one.
"Oh, he's here!" Jasmine enthused.
"Who?" Tajo asked, looking around curiously.
"Señor Justicia." Jasmine sighed with a dreamy look in her eye.
"She has a crush on her immigration attorney." Dan explained to Tajo with a chuckle. "She chose to come here because she overheard him say he was. She's in the early stages of stalkerhood." Dan grinned when Jasmine turned and swatted her.
"I'm going to say hello, it's only polite." She said with a huff. Dan and Tajo both chuckled at her antics.
A few minutes later she returned with the doctor in hand. "It's busy in here, so I asked him to join us." Jasmine said firmly. Dan knew the man well enough from working with him that she didn't mind, and Tajo believed 'the more the better', so Enrique sat down. It didn't escape Dan's attention that once seated, Jasmine and Enrique didn't release each others hands immediately.
"Oh, and I have a friend meeting me soon if that's alright?" Enrique asked. Once again everyone agreed that it was fine.
When John Stangel entered the pub, he saw Enrique waving to him from a crowded table on the other side pf the room. Crossing over to him, they shook hands and Enrique explained; "It was crowded, so they offered to share." John was surprised to see a patient from this morning at the table.
"Ms. Robbins?"
"Dr. Stangel?"
"Enrique, I don't think its a good idea for me to sit here, she one of my patients." John began to explain to his friend, but Dan interrupted him.
"Not anymore. I've decided definitively that Tajo is the donor I want, so now I'll move on to a new doctor, and you can join us for a celebratory drink." John considered this logic for a long moment, then shrugged.
"Alright." He said simply as he pulled a chair up. Soon enough they were all engaged in pleasant conversation, and they all had the thought that this just felt right.
It was nearly eleven when Ted Mosby sauntered into McLaren's. Another night by himself. He hadn't talked to Lily or Marshall since the argument two days before, Barney was with Quinn and a few of her friends, and Robin had said she was turning in early because she had to work at six the next morning. Looking around the bar, Ted's eyes zeroed in on their favorite table, which had five people sitting at it. Five very familiar people. His eyes widened in shock, and he turned and fled back onto the street, pulling out his cell phone as he did.
Lily Aldrin and Marshall Erikson were finally able to enjoy a few minutes of peace. Marvin had fallen asleep ten minutes ago, and they were now cuddled up together on the couch. Just as they themselves started to fall asleep, both their cell phones received a text message. They both sat up with a groan, grabbed their phones, and opened the text.
Barney Stinson was in agony. When his super hot ex-stripper fiance told him she wanted to have some of her old coworkers over for the night, he saw penthouse in his mind. But the reality was more like hen house. The four girls were sitting around, fully clothed, gossiping, drinking wine, and painting their nails. Barney was ready to bash his own skull on when he got a text. Thanking whoever this was for alleviating his suicidal thoughts, Barney pulled out his phone and opened the text.
Robin Scherbatsky was sitting at home watching TV. She had told Ted she was turning in early, but really she just wanted to avoid Barney. She was happy for him, Quinn was a wonderful woman, but she couldn't help but wish it was her instead. She knew she blew it when she chose Kevin over him, but part of her had hoped after they had split, he would still be interested. And then they had shown up and announced their engagement. She really was happy for them. She just didn't need to be constantly reminded of it. Her pity party was cut short when she got a text message. She grabbed her phone and opened the text.
All four phones had exactly the same text from exactly the same person. Ted just sent: 911. MCLAREN'S. NOW. And all four recipients looked around for a split second before rushing out.
Robin pulled up in a cab and saw everyone standing outside. Marshall and Lily looked tired, and Barney was standing off to the side, his face neutral. But Ted looked like a kid on Christmas morning, his face lit up with excitement and joy.
"I'm here, what the big emergency?" Robin asked as she got out of the cab.
"He wouldn't tell us until we were all here, but he says it'll blow our minds." Marshall said, his voice equal parts irritation and curiosity. Robin looked and him and Lily again.
"Where's Marvin?" She asked, seeing both sets of arms empty. Lily pulled out a baby monitor from her pocket.
"He's been asleep for over forty minutes." Lily said proudly.
"Cool." Was her only response, both that he had slept and that Lily had thought to bring the monitor down.
"Alright Ted. We're all here. Tell us what gonna 'blow our minds'." Marshall said. Ted shook his head no.
"This is something that can't be told, only seen." He replied before turning and entering the bar. The rest of the group look at one another for a moment, then followed Ted in.
As soon as they entered they knew exactly what had Ted so excited. Sitting at their usual table, was them. On one side, stripper Lily sat next to mustachioed Marshall, close enough that their shoulders were just touching, and shooting goofy, shy looks at each other. The other side held lesbian Robin and Mexican wrestler Ted, who were both chatting amiably with each other and Dr. Stangel, who sat in a chair at the end.
The real Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney, and Ted just stood there and looked at the five of them. They looked so comfortable together. So happy.
"Kids, over the decades that the five of us have been friends, there have been a lot of fights, arguments, disagreements, hurt feelings, and disastrous events. But ever since that night, we have always known that everything would work out in the end. Because that night, seeing the doppelgangers all together like that, the five of us had just one thought. And it was your Aunt Lily that voiced it."
"It's fate. The five of us are destined to always be together."
