AN- whoop!! I already have a few reviews for Potato Sack and I just couldn't wait to writer up the companion story!! I had lots of different ideas for the second story but couldn't decide so basically, I'm going to put them all together in a proper story!

Anyways, you don't HAVE to read Potato Sack but it will make more sense if you do. I'll be referring to things in that story so if you don't get it, read the other one, or review/PM me and I'll tell you what you need to know.

That's all, so please read and review!

Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight…

Chapter 1- The Journey to the Cullen House

Bella's POV

As soon as I woke up this morning, I realize two things at the same time; one, Edward wasn't here and two, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my pinkie finger that something bad was going to happen today.

I jumped out of bed, threw myself in the shower (while accidently brushing my teeth with mint scented shampoo) while getting changed into my jeans, and a random black t-shirt at the same time having a bowl of tomato tea and iced soup (no lime) (I couldn't be bothered to pour two bowls so I mixed it together) and all in ten minutes flat.

I leapt into my truck by jumping through the window (breaking it in the process) and it was then that I remembered the fact that I had left my car keys somewhere in the house. Damn.

I started panicking after I tried to open the door and realized it was locked (and also forgetting the fact that there was a gaping hole of broken glass in front of me, but never mind that). I scrambled out of my seat when an idea hit me. I crouched on the squeaky car seat and shoved the sun roof with all my strength, snapped one of the hinges off it and climbed onto the roof.

I slid down the windshield (getting one of the wipers stuck up my bum-Oley but then it snapped off the car anyways so that wasn't a problem) and jumped off the hood.

I practically died on the dangerous one metre journey to the front door but came back to life once again as I thought about Edward and his hair and socks and amazing-ness.

I tried the door handle and realized it was locked. Oh crap. I'd locked myself out!

So, I did the only thing I could and legged it to the back of the house, climbed half way up a tree that was nicely placed right outside my bedroom window and climbed to the end of a branch before I fell off the end and landed in dog poop.

Something stabbed me in the backside but I ignored it and carried on with my Very Important Mission.

I climbed back up the tree, but SUDDENLY, a hedgehog quite literally appeared out of nowhere and scared me so I slipped and fell on one of Snow White's dwarfs (I think his name was Albert but I was in too much of a hurry to help him up and ask him his name).

Just as I thought it couldn't get worse, half way up the tree, I got stuck when my pants (as in underwear (it's what we call them here in the UK)) caught hold of a stray branch that had unfortunately appeared out of thin air and I was trapped. Hanging on a tree by a wedgie.

Oh the shame.

So anyway, as I sat there (okay, HUNG there), I thought about that time Emmett had kidnapped me. And when all the Cullens had come to save me and they were all super heroes…well that had been quite…disturbing. But now, I was going to turn into the secret identity nobody but Emmett and I knew of…I was going to turn into Batman-Bella!!!

Hooray!!

So, I decided to be Batman-Bella and swung back and forth and caught the upper window ledge of the living room window which was right underneath my bedroom window. I pulled myself off the tree and reached up to grab hold of the bottom ledge of my bedroom window.

I scrambled onto it and because I couldn't be bothered to open my already open window, I just decided to use the hedgehog (it had followed me up on my great and boring journey) to smash the window open with.

Then, I jumped into my room, tripped over a stray sock that I never remember owning, before looking around for my car keys.

I looked all over the house in less than five minutes before I gave up, let myself out of the Always Open back door and decided to run to the Cullens house instead.

I tripped over 1158 times (I counted) before I came to a ditch and instead of being stupid and doing an Emmett move like walking all the way AROUND the ditch, I decided to be smart and jump over the two metre dent. I took a run up, jumped, one of my feet touched the other side but I tripped on a micro organism and fell doing a backwards roly-poly and landing in the splits while ripping my jeans.

I leapt out of the ditch (after having a cup of Jamaican tea The Man From Over The Rainbow gave me and doing a fabulous handstand) and carried on with my very un-adventurous journey to my poopy-kinz house.

I did a quick cartwheel up the porch steps when I got there and accidently broke the door down when I landed. Then, I tripped over the door handle which was now lying on the floor and I lay sprawled on the carpet for a few seconds before I got up and looked around me.

Everyone was looking at me. Okay, staring at me. Then, they all turned around and carried on with the conversation they'd been having before my un-interesting arrival.

"I said no, Emmett," Carlisle said sternly.

Emmett pouted before turning to Esme and saying, "oh come on mommy-kinz!! You'll be able to use your Windex AND say, 'I'm Windex-Woman, I'll clean all you problems away!'" said Emmett in a high voice, pretending to spray everything with Windex.

Esme looked torn between excitement and doubt. "Well, I do love me some Windex," she said thoughtfully.

Carlisle sighed before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "Doctor-Mcdreamy has a way better motto."

Emmett grinned before turning to a stubborn looking Alice.

"Allllllll-iiiice!!! You'll have the chance to make us some cosssss-tuuummmeessss!!!!" sang Emmett.

Alice suddenly beamed before running up the stairs at Alice-speed which is faster than Vamp-speed.

"And Jasper, you'll be able to have your very own leprechaun minions! It will be like, a new confederate army, huh, Confederate-Army-Guy…" said Emmett, grinning and nudging a happy Jasper.

"Oh, and Eddie, my lovely smelly sock! I'll get you a brand new stupid, shiny, silver Volvo so you can play your part!" Emmett said to a happy but glaring Edward.

"And Rosie, my dear plastic Barbie-doll! You'll be able to play an awesomely bitch character that suits you just like stupidity suits me!" Emmett said happily.

Rosalie bitch-slapped him and he went flying out the newly fixed window-wall where he landed in the river next to the Cullen House.

Edward turned to me then and really took my appearance in. he had a strange expression on his face.

Then, he said in a very confused tone, "Bella, why are you covered in cuts, bruises, leaves, sand, crap, lip-gloss, glass, pebbles, grass, hedgehog spikes and fur, wearing ripped jeans, dog poop and why in the name of Jasper's yellow emo thong have you got half a car windshield wiper up your bum crack?!"

AN- well, there's chapter one! Please review and tell me what you think. Should I carry on? Add anything? Have you got any ideas? I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestion and also, if anyone wants to be in this story and be a super hero with your own, chosen power, then please PM me or send in a review!

Thanks form reading and please review!

~Jade