Start All Over

He would do anything to help Johnny Topside. Now because Johnny can't speak, he wasn't able to communicate with others, but Sinclair wanted to fix that, though sometimes it would make Topside angry, he didn't think communicating with people as necessary anyway.

But Johnny was his partner, he was his… friend. As awkward as it sounded in the back of Sinclair's head since the two weren't exactly used to getting close to people and trusting then. Yet the two found they've gotten used to each other ever since they escaped Rapture. Maybe it was all the horrible things they saw down under the deep blue sea or maybe it as the near death experience. They weren't really sure to why they trusted one another.

Now Johnny sat down on a table with Sinclair on the opposite side. The table was made out of wood, it was medium sized and round like a coffee table, but it was big enough for Sinclair to place a paper on it. Next to him as also an ashtray for his cigar "Now sport," he started, smoke coming out of his mouth as he talked since he had a cigarette in. "I know damn well ya don't like this" John rolled his eyes as Sinclair continued. "But it's for your own good" he pushed the paper closer to John. "Tenenbaum an' I already started memorizin' some o' the letters here so we'd understand what ya say, do ya want to try this one more time?" John didn't fancy using hand language, he sighed and looked down at the paper searchingf or the letters he wanted before he started forming the words "Fuck you" with hand language, he then took the paper and crumpled it in his hand. He threw the paper in Sinclair's face before standing up and leaving the half Panamanian.

Augustus sighed and looked down at the paper that fell on the table; he rubbed his forehead as he heard Johnny slamming the door of his room shut, almost making the whole house shake. He took the cigar out of his mouth and blew some smoke in the air before putting it out in an ashtray that was on the table. "Herr Sinclair?" He heard Tenenbaum call from behind him.

"Hmm?" Sinclair said in response, he didn't turn to look at the German doctor. "What is it Tenenbaum?"

"I see you are still struggling yes? Delta does not want learn. Perhaps find other way?"

"We tried! Eleanor an' I, we tried everythin' we could, he just doesn't want to" he sighed again. "I'm sorry... I'll try again, just not now, Johnny is more pissed off than a bull, besides I got work an' I don't fancy pillin' work up" he took the paper from the table and opened it, trying to straighten it and fix it before he stood up and walked past Tenenbaum and to his office.

Eleanor looked at Sinclair before he closed the door; he smiled at her before shutting it quietly. She felt bad for the Southern man; she knew he was trying his best to communicate with Johnny. Maybe she could talk to her "Daddy" tell him to at least appreciate what Sinclair does. It's because of him they have a place to stay in.

She knocked on the wooden door, and she felt her heart stop for a minute as the door knob moved and the door opened. There stood Johnny Topside the tall man with short blond hair, scars all over his face board shoulders, well muscled. He looked down at her with his bright blue eyes; his lips seemed like they were trying to force a smile but turned back to their usual straight line.

"Can I come in father? I wish to speak to you" she said, her hands now behind her back. Though she had no reason to be scared she somewhat felt nervous. She once saw John pushing Sinclair against the wall so hard it made one of the pictures hanging on the wall fall and the glass protecting the wooden frame shattered.

He stepped aside and she walked in, sitting down on the bed and waiting for him to join her. The bed made a creaking sound as he sat next to her, his hands on his lap and he stared at her silently asking for her to speak. "Father…" she began."I'm here to talk to you about Sinclair" she rubbed her hands together as Delta made a sound of disapproval but that didn't stop her from continuing. "You have to hear me, Sinclair, Tenenbaum and I are trying to help you, what you did to Sinclair today, what you did before, slamming him against the wall, throwing a paper on his face," then Eleanor shook her head. "May I remind you father, his money, his work is what gives us a home, because of him I have the chance to go to school like every normal girl. We're not asking for much, we just want to be able to communicate with you, we're all looking forward to that, even me and Tenenbaum"

Johnny looked away and growled, he didn't really mean to be this bad to Sinclair, or anyone at that. He knew they all meant well and they all put up with John without complaining. He did try, but being a big daddy for so long killed his feelings. "I can't tell you what to do father… it's up to you how you take this matter" she stood up. "I hope you'll give it some thinking though" then she walked away and out of the room leaving the former big daddy alone to his thoughts.

Johnny sighed; he pushed himself off of the bed and tried to silence the fight within himself. He dragged his suddenly heavy feet to Sinclair's office; it felt like he was wearing one of those heavy big daddy shoes which was something he wanted to desperately forget. Luckily the office wasn't so far off from John's room, he yawned as he walked. It was sort of late; Sinclair had spent the few past hours on that hand language thing. John entered the office without even knocking.

He stood frozen as he saw Sinclair's head on the desk, he was asleep and snoring. Once John walked closer he could see some papers scattered around Sinclair's desk, one of them under Sinclair's hand was the same paper he crumpled and threw on Augustus' face, and others talked about something called the "Braille". A cup of now cold coffee on the desk besides him and a cigar that's slowly having its light vanish on the ashtray.

Topside moved the papers away; some of them falling from the table as he gently picked Sinclair up to put him in his room. But half way to Sinclair's room the man awakened, he shook his head to lose the feeling of his head being heavy and he slowly he opened his eyes. "C-Chief? I… I must have… dozed off" John didn't show any sign of response he just kept walking to Sinclair's room. He opened the door and put the man down on the bed. Sinclair felt so tired; he couldn't bring up enough energy to at least change his clothes so he just closed his eyes and gave in to sleep.

John hated seeing the innocent face Sinclair has when he's asleep, it ate him up inside he growled audibly to himself and left the room before the sight breaks him.

The next morning started like any ordinary day, the 'family' woke to the smell of Sinclair's cooking, they gathered around the table, Eleanor helping in setting the table. She had already dressed for school. Tenenbaum had long taken her seat and was now reading a newspaper, Johnny was staring at the cup of milk that was set in front of him, the table was silent and Sinclair didn't really fancy that silence. For some reason it made him feel uncomfortable. "Anythin' special in school today Eleanor?" he asked and Eleanor shook her head.

"Just an exam" she shrugged. "I had already studied for it and I'm ready" then she smiled and Sinclair politely smiled back. Eleanor and Sinclair had changed a lot since the two left Rapture, Tenenbaum was too broken to be fixed and John guessed he was the same, they all have been through hell and John wished he could be as strong as Eleanor, he wished he could let the past go but it haunted him every night, deprived him of much needed rest which was why he woke up grumpy as hell the next day.

The thoughts made him angry, made his blood boil. How can he just forget everything that happened so easily? Live like he once didn't live in a rat hole? "Sport?" the voice made John snap out of his thoughts and in self defense to the surprise he knocked the cup of milk off of the table, the milk splashed all over Sinclair's face and clothes, turning off his cigar and dirtying his clothes.

"Father!" Eleanor stood up to get a towel.

"At least it wasn't hot," Sinclair chuckled trying to lighten up the mood. Eleanor offered to help Sinclair but he took the towel from her. "It's okay I'll go change," his eyes landed on John and he smiled faintly. "I'm sorry I scared ya, you jus' seemed outta it is all"
John waved his hand dismissively. Augustus stood for a silent moment before sighing. "Eleanor, jus' wait for me in the car. I'll change an' I'll be there" he said walking to his room to change. Eleanor grabbed her things without a word and left to wait in the car.

The former diver knew he had missed up again and cursed himself, he looked at Tenenbaum who was still reading the newspaper like nothing just happened and rolled his eyes. Sinclair came out of his room minutes after, fixing his tie and taking his coat and suitcase. "Take care o' yourself an' the house John"

Johnny nodded and all he heard after that was the door closing. Tenenbaum finally put the news paper aside and stood up, John ignored her movement even though she seemed to have been getting closer to him, suddenly his cheeks stung when the woman slapped him. "Schwein!" she slammed her hand on the table, a paper, the same paper that seem to haunt John everywhere now under her hand. "I had enough of games. Sinclair und Eleanor too nice with you, because they care me not so much. Today you sit, we learn, Sinclair und Eleanor come home you show them what you learn"

Johnny was surprised that Tenenbaum slapped him, his mind was still trying to comprehend what was happening before he looked at her then the paper, he lifted his hand forgetting that he no longer had his suit on and the drill was no longer there. He lowered his hand then glanced at the paper again before sighing. He wished to incinerate the paper right now so it wouldn't appear in his life ever again. "This like school Eleanor goes to yes?" she sat down again. "How does one say… "My name is?"

Topside looked at the paper and he started copying the pictures of the hand signs. He introduced himself in hand language, and in a couple of hours he seemed to memorize some of the letters, regularly they'd take a break every now and then before continuing.

"Gut, see? It's not so hard" Tenenbaum shrugged and John nodded. The two heard clapping sounds and they turned to see Sinclair standing in front of the door clapping his hands.

"Outstandin' sport" he sat down next to John and put down his suitcase. "I'm proud o' ya"

John smiled then turned his head away, ashamed of looking Sinclair in the eyes after all he had done. Sinclair's smile was like poison that he gladly drank and it burned in his veins to know that after all that Sinclair would still stay by his side, unafraid that John might end up hurting him again.

"My job is done," Tenenbaum said as she stood up, fixing her dress. "You should keep practicing und I'll keep an eye on Eleanor" with that she walked away without another word.

Sinclair clapped Johnny on the back and chuckled. "Guess ol' Tenenbaum is better than I am. John shook his head and sighed. His eyes locked with Sinclair's and he apologized. He wanted to speak the words though he knew he couldn't, all he could do was make hand signs. "No need to apologize John. I understand what you've been through, it would turn any man insane but ya survived that an' look at you as sane as a priest"

John's eyes widened. Sinclair was right, he was sane and he was thankful for it too. But he felt like an idiot because all this time he was blinded to the fact that… Sinclair was what kept him sane through it all. Down at Rapture, if he didn't have his partner he would surely lose it and snap. Sinclair had always encouraged him, talked to him as if he was a man with a heart, as if he was still human under the suit of metal.

The diver's hand slowly came up to both sides of Sinclair's face; he had a faint frown, and his eyes guilty. Why didn't Sinclair just accept the apology without any further words? How could he always find new ways to make John feel guilty? And with those questions in mind he leaned in slowly and softly pressing his lips against Sinclair's and to his surprise the man kissed back almost immediately. When they parted Sinclair smiled at him. "I said ya don't have to apologize, there was no need for that kiss either, though I got no complains"

John found himself smiling as well. Maybe it is better to be happy than to stay angry and hold grudges. He did really feel immature for his behavior when all he had to do was smile. Sinclair shrugged. "I was gonna ask ya out anyway, though the time didn't seem right."

That stunned John, Sinclair the man who could have anything and anyone he wanted would choose John over the world. John knew he wasn't the best looking man, not even close. And he was always giving Sinclair a hard time. That didn't seem fair. But from this whole experience he learned life isn't fair and he should just accept things as they come. Maybe, just maybe god does exist unlike Ryan believed. And maybe god is giving John a chance, or a reward for all the trouble he went through… and maybe the true Rapture was closer to them than they thought but they were about to experience it all and John was ready for it this time.

END