I Hope You Dance

Warnings: Child Sexual abuse, mentions of eating disorders. The rating will change…for the worse

Disclaimer: don't own Glee


You're so beautiful…

Large, foreign hands grope at his body

Shh you'll like it I promise…

Sweaty, lustful lips kiss at his neck and mouth.

Stop crying it'll be okay…

His small eight year old body tries to push the older man off without
success.

Kurt shakes his head and lets out a small noise of protest, "No".

The man's kisses move down his chest and stomach. Kurt lets the tears flow freely and wants to scream for his dad. "Where's my daddy?" Kurt cries and the man stops momentarily to look up and smirk, "Your daddy is out right now…so shut up or you'll never see him again". Kurt bit his bottom lip; he couldn't lose his father to.

The man fumbled with his suspenders and pants.

Damn you're so fucking gorgeous…

Kurt closed his eyes; He wished his mother was here...

His eyes flew open and a gasp escaped his throat as his pants where slowly pulled down.

"No!" he tries to twist and get away. The man reaches out and grabs his wrists holding him in place moving up so he's straddling the young boy.

"You want to see your daddy right?" he asks as Kurt sobs. "Huh?" he asks forcefully. Kurt bites his lower lip and nods. "Okay so shut the fuck up and stop moving or you'll never see your daddy again got it?"
He said as Kurt's tiny wrists start to throb in pain.

Kurt nods slowly and looks the other way as the man moves back to his position.

He used his left hand to slide down into Kurt's briefs. Kurt let out a whimper and the man shushed him. "Look at me" he said and Kurt saw nothing but evil in this sick mans eyes. "Now I want you to watch me the whole time baby then we can learn how to have some fun" he chuckled and proceeded.

Kurt wanted so badly to look away...run out to his mother's arms so he could forget this.

When the man finished he put Kurt's clothes back on with a fake gentleness. "Now if you tell your daddy he'll hate you and leave you alone to die..." the man warned and Kurt felt a cold fear creep through him.

"I won't tell" Kurt said to the man and he smiled.

"Good".

XxXxXx

"Kurt" Burt said as he walked into the dancing building. He vowed since Elizabeth died he'd nurture and make Kurt happy for the rest of his living days. He would have never expected he'd be picking his son up from dance.

Burt looked at his son who was all done up in a cute little outfit his mother would have loved. Complete with a bow tie and suspenders. Kurt walked toward him his eyes on the ground and his steps where quick and scared like.

Burt didn't really take notice to the tensing of his muscles as he touched Kurt's back. "Hey bud what's going on?" Burt asked guiding Kurt to the car. "Nothing" he replied and Burt looked at him.

Usually Kurt would yap away now he was silent and withdrawn. "You feelin okay honey?" he asked feeling Kurt's forehead but he jerked away. "I'm okay" the eight year old mumbled. And they drove in silence, the images kept going through Kurt's head. "So um how'd your dance thingy go?" Burt asked sipping on a speedway coffee and handing his son a juice box.

"Good" Kurt mumbled and nodded. "Any reason he kept you later than the others?" Burt pried. Kurt panicked, "Um he said that I was really good…and that I should be the boy lead for the next show" Kurt said, it wasn't really a lie. The coach had told him that after he had…

Don't think about it!

But Kurt was excited none the less to actually have lead.

"Well that's exciting" Burt smiled not really knowing what a male lead would be doing as long as it didn't involve in son in a tutu or makeup.

Kurt nodded.

XxXxXx

"Is your homework done?" Burt asked Kurt as they both cleaned up from dinner, "It always is dad" he said with a small smile. Burt shook his head; this kid was way over his years.

"Okay go get your jammies on and I'll be in there to say goodnight" Burt said and Kurt wiped his hands walking to his room.

He pulled out his night clothes which consisted of a large shirt and pajama bottoms. He carefully removed his clothes and folded them then out them in the hamper. Burt always hated that when he did that but Kurt hated wrinkles even more.

Kurt looked at the small bruises that where forming near his hips and the red spots near his waist to. If he could just block it out…

"Kurt do you need help in there?" Burt yelled to him. Kurt panicked; "No!" he nearly screamed and put his night stuff on quickly. He walked out very slowly and with his eyes down.

Burt smiled and pulled him into a hug. Kurt stiffened and did his best to hug back. "Oh goodnight kiddo" Burt said and kissed his forehead. Kurt smiled and climbed on his bed.

He tucked Kurt in and walked out turning the light out. Kurt wished he would have kept it on.

He lay there, closing his eyes and trying to sleep. Finally sleep came and it was good for a couple hours, till he woke up crying and sweating. He opened his eyes to find himself in his dark room with his mothers blanket wrapped around him. It was suddenly too much, sweat dripped down his face. He pushed the covers off and gasped.

No! Kurt Hummel does not do that. He was eight; eight year olds don't wet the bed. He got up and pushed the thankfully dry blankets off. He grabbed his soiled sheet and balled it up setting it near the door.

Then he went in his bathroom and cleaned up changing. The smell of urine was strong and it gave Kurt a headache.

Kurt quietly crept to the laundry room, with the sheet.

He threw it in the washer with other clothes that where yet to be washed. He thanked god his father was a heavy sleeper as he turned the washer on and walked back to his room. Quietly he closed the door and turned the light on.

When he was finished scrubbing and disinfecting his bed it was 4am. He was exhausted when he finally had the sheet nice and clean with a clean tide smell on his bed and crawled in.

The only thing was what if he went to bed and peed again? He felt tears fall down his face, for some reason.

He wished his mom was here she would know what to do.

So he sat up and laid his head against the backboard and stared at the wall.

XxXxXx

"Kurt?" Burt asked walking in his room and not seeing him in his bed. The room looked empty. He panicked, "Kurt buddy where are you?" he asked looking around until he opened the closet door and saw his son huddled up in the corner sucking his thumb.

He shook Kurt whose eyes opened immediately, "Huh?" he asked looking up at his father. Burt laughed a little and picked his son up.

"What're you doing in there?" he asked placing Kurt on his hip. Kurt laid his head on Burt's shoulder and shrugged.

"C'mon lets go get breakfast" he said and Kurt squirmed a little.

Burt sat him at the table and went to pour himself coffee. Kurt got back up and grabbed an apple and some chocolate milk. "That's all you want?" Burt asked him as he ate at the apple.

"Yeah, coach" thank god he didn't see the shudder, "said we need to watch our weight"

Burt gave him a look, "You're eight for craps sake you don't have any weight to watch". Kurt continued to eat his apple and shrugged. "I didn't say it".

XxXxXx

Kurt grabbed his bag as they headed to dance. Oh god was he scared, he felt like crying.

He couldn't pay attention in school at all either, which caused the teacher to talk to him out the hall.

They arrived at the dance building; Burt got out and helped Kurt out. "Have fun okay" Burt said giving him a hug and watching him walk in with his dance bag.

The building was once a sanctuary, he could dance and sing. Forget that his mother was gone and never coming back.

Kurt went and changed into his unitard and walked back out sitting where the others were. Him, Josh and Keith where the only males in the others were girls, but it didn't really bother any of them.

The coach walked out and smiled. Kurt tensed and stared at the floor

The coach was a slender man yet strong. He had dark brown hair and brown eyes. The way he smiled, was so sinister to Kurt. Yet to the other ignorant kids it was just another man, who smiled and taught them to dance.

Class went on and Kurt practiced for his lead, he felt alive when he danced. Forgetting everything he had to deal with in his little eight year old life.

After class he changed and hoped to hurry out of there before-

"Hello Kurt" coach said grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. Kurt managed a weak smile,

"H-hi" he muttered and looked down. "I need to have a little chat with you" he said and Kurt's heart quickened. They walked their way to his office and sat he sat down. The coach pulled up a chair in front of him and sat.

"You like having the lead yes?" he asked and Kurt nodded, "Well I need you to do me a favor…Kurt I'm not going to lie to you, I like you, you're a great kid but to be in the dancing, and singing business you need to be…" he looked to the ceiling for a moment. "In control".

Kurt wanted to scream at him, what in the hell could he control he was freaking eight!

He set a hand on his upper leg. "And you need to relax, I can help you with that, you just can't tell anybody else or…they'll make you stop dancing and singing, even take you away forever" he said and Kurt's eyes grew wide.

"So you won't tell will you?" he asked and Kurt bit his lip and shook his head no.

"Good…" he said getting up, "Let me help you relax right now".

XxXxXx

Control…

Kurt looked at himself in the mirror; coach had told him ways he could control.

Kurt tried to shake the memories of him, and what had now happened twice. The second time was the worse, because he knew what would happen.

Kurt finally decided on a way to control things.

The first time Kurt Hummel purged himself he was eight years old.


this is a old fanfic I wrote but i will be continuing it! There will be more and you'll see Kurt have to grow up with this. :) why must i torture him so? Review and watch for more