I glanced around my surroundings, hardly impressed at the state of the interrogation room. Then the door swings open and a tall man with gray hair enters.
"I'm detective Lestrade." He gruffs out as he takes the seat opposite of mine. His eyes focus on me as if he is expecting something of me. Finally he speaks his request. "And you are?"
"I am me." I say confidently.
The man rolls his eyes. "What is your name?" He glances down at the file he has laid on the table. "I see here you did not tell the deputies your name when they arrested you."
I carefully fold my hands together on the table and purse my lips as I study the man. Thousands of deductions float around my head, but I try to focus on him and the conversation only. "I can't tell you something I don't have."
His eyes squint. "You have a name, everyone has a name. What do people call you?"
I grin mischievously. "People call me a lot of things, not all of them pleasant."
I observe as he grits his teeth together and glances at the ceiling. Signs of frustration. "Fine. So you're nameless. All I need from you is a confession."
I grin again. "Why on Earth would I give you a confession?"
"Because we caught you about to commit a crime."
I tuck my hands under my chin and lean towards the detective, my dark curls falling around my face. "Exactly what crime am I charged with?" The man swallows as I continue to study him. "I don't believe standing in an alley with someone is against the law, is it detective?"
I sense his breathing picking up, by I continue. "After all, hypothetically, if I were to commit a crime to the magnitude that you are insinuating, would I be so stupid as to do it in the city? And if in fact I were a "murderer," I air quote as I turn to the man. "That is what you thought I was correct? You thought I planned on killing that sorry excuse for a man? Well of course not. I have seen enough telly shows to know if I were to commit that sort of crime, I would take many precautions." I push the chair back and he stands up. I saunter over to lean against the table close to him. "Is planning how to kill someone a crime if I never acted on it detective?" I flick my hair and flash him a smile. "If so, wouldn't you be a criminal?"
I run a manicured hand across his shoulders as I go to his other side. "You found out your wife is cheating again didn't you?" I tug on his collar and his hard eyes study me, but I can tell I've hit a soft spot. "It's the gardener this time. He recently starting coming over twice a week didn't he? At first you didn't suspect anything. That's wrong isn't it? You didn't want it to be true, so you ignored it. After all, he wasn't charging more, so why question it? But then you noticed that while he was there twice the time, even less work was being done. You're a smart man Lestrade. You knew right away what was happening. You want to kill him don't you? And your wife?" I grin at him. "It's okay to imagine it. It's therapeutic." I scrunched my eyebrows together and put my lips together in a wicked smile. "As long as you never act on it."
"How did you know all of that?" Lestrade roars. He pushes me into the chair and stands over me. "Tell me how you knew that."
I chuckle. "It's just simple deductions detective. There are dark circle under your eyes to indicate you haven't slept well lately. And your ring finger has a distinct tan line, indicating you were recently on holiday, but you've since taken it off. But why detective?" I smile. "Your gruff demeanor shows that you lack trust in others, which can either stem from parental or marital problems. And with the lack of ring, I'd say marital. Marital problems stem from either financial problems or infidelity. Your Dolce and Gabbana watch indicates you probably don't have money issues. As for the gardener, there is dirt under your nails. You just noticed the lack of development in the garden, and were in too much distress to properly clear away the dirt. Most gardening services go to homes at the beginning of the week, Monday or Tuesday; yet you keep glancing at your watch indicating that something is going on today, Friday. You wanted to catch them today, but you're too busy interrogating me." I grin again as he sighs.
"Oh my gosh." He studies me again. "I can't believe it."
"Can't believe what?" I stare at him in wonder.
"I thought there was only one of you."
"One of whom Mr. Lestrade?" I growl. There was no one like me, that's why I was alone.
He glances at the door. "I'll be back." And he's gone.
