A/N: So this was inspired by the new set pics of Dianna Agron with pink hair.

She couldn't believe her mother was sending her on a week-long Christian teens retreat. She knew her mom's reaction to her new hair wasn't going to be favourable, but sending her away to help 're-focus her faith and become part of the community again' was taking it a bit far. She still went to church didn't she? Sure she sat near the back, sometimes playing Cat's Cradle with Sam's sister Stacey, but that was more to avoid the dirty looks than because she didn't want to be there. OK She'd had her moments with God, moments where she was sure he couldn't give a crap about her, but they were on better terms now. That much couldn't be said for her and the rest of the congregation. Bar the Evans family most of them ignored her or whispered to their daughters to not take after her. All very Christian. But here she was with two weeks of summer vacation left and she was going to be spending a week of it being looked down on my Father Arnold and used as a cautionary tale.

"Lucy! Lucy Fabray, is that you?"

She looked up at the sound of her surname, she hadn't responded to the L word in years. A girl who seemed vaguely familiar was walking towards her.

"Lucy, that is you! Wow, you look great."

Quinn stood there, slightly aghast, not sure if she should try to ignore the girl or just give in and get it over with. As the girl got closer Quinn finally managed to place her. Amy Clarke. She had known Amy from kindergarten up until they were ten and Amy's family had moved to California. Amy had pretty much been the only person to want to hang out with sad, pathetic little Lucy and once she'd gone no one had even attempted to take her place.

As Amy got closer Quinn realised she really had no choice but to greet her. Hopefully it could be short and painless and if Quinn had any luck she could spend the next week being as close to the opposite end of the camp as possible to her old friend. The last thing Quinn needed was a week of being reminded that she used to be an even worse loser than she was now.

"Amy?" Quinn said it tentatively, hoping that just maybe she was wrong.

"I can't believe it's you. You've changed so much! Still, I can see Lucy Q in there somewhere." Amy spoke hurriedly and with an excitement Quinn had never been able to muster. She cringed internally at Amy's ascertain that Lucy Q was still so visible behind her Quinn mask.

"What are you doing here?" Quinn tried to hide her irritation at having her past so resolutely thrust back into her life.

"We just moved back Ohio a few weeks ago. Dad got another promotion which brought us back here. It's so good to see a familiar face. Although considering how you look these days maybe that's the wrong turn of phrase."

Quinn looked at floor. Apart from her family no one had ever known both Lucy and Quinn. Sure Lucy had been plastered across the halls of McKinley but there was a difference between knowing what she used to look like and knowing who she used to be.

"Sorry. That wasn't a dig or anything. It was meant to be a compliment. You just, you look like a frickin' prom queen or something."

"Or something" Quinn muttered under her breath.

"Next thing you'll be telling me you don't spend every waking hour listening to Avril Lavigne and Kelly Clarkson anymore."

Quinn couldn't help but smile a little.

"I still have my Kelly Clarkson moments. 'Since U Been Gone' is pretty decent song."

"Oh, sounds to me like there is a story behind that little declaration. I get the feeling I have a lot to catch up on." Amy grinned.

"That's a pretty big understatement." Quinn returned her face to the partial scowl that had become her trademark.

Amy turned so they were standing next to each other and linked her arm with Quinn's and started tugging her along to the registration table.

"Well, Lucy Q, we've got a whole week."

Quinn sighed. Part of her felt more like herself than she had in so long, pulled up close to Amy like that, but that idea alone was terrifying. Actually telling Amy everything that had happened in the past seven years, that was enough to instigate one of her crying jags that she was really trying to get under control. Lucy was the crier, not Quinn. They got to the table and Amy gave her name to the woman sitting there who then handed her a room assignment. It was Quinn's turn next.

"Name?"

"Quinn Fabray."

The woman ran her finger down the list, ticked off Quinn's name and then handed her her assignment. Quinn turned to Amy who was looking at her quizzically.

"Since when do you go by Quinn?"

"Since I stopped being Lucy."

"Ok, that wasn't an actual answer. We really do have a lot to go over. What room did you get?"

"Room two in the Romans cabin."

Amy looked down at her piece of paper and walked back over to the woman organising the rooms. Quinn didn't hear what Amy said but when she walked back she had a big grin on her face.

"What a coincidence, me too. Let's go roomie."

She looped her arm back through Quinn's and walked them towards the cabins by the lake.

Stopping to get their bags on the way the girls arrived at their cabin ten minutes later, Quinn trying to avoid all conversation on the way and Amy deciding it was best not to push it just yet. As soon as they walked through the door of their room Amy headed for the bed on the right under the window and hefted her bag up onto it.

"I'm guessing even Quinn still hates to be woken too early in the morning. Figured I'd take the side that's going to get all the morning sun."

"Um, thanks."

"No problem. Now sit."

Amy sat on her bed and motioned for Quinn to sit on the one opposite. She did as she was told and did her best to maintain the aloof posture that had become her signature. It was one week, one week with someone who knew her as a kid. Everyone changes, right? There was no real surprise that she managed to end up more like her older sister than anyone had thought possible.

"Listen, Amy, it's been seven years. I'm not a kid anymore…"

"Well neither am I but I still use the same name and if I'm not mistaken still have the same nose. What the hell happened Luce?"

"It's Quinn." She said it as sternly as she could.

"Seriously, you're gonna make me call you Quinn now? That's going to take some getting used to. I'll try but you have to tell me what all this was about first."

"Name my friends in elementary school, Amy."

"Well there was Jane and Sarah, Hunter and Chris and , oh, what was her name…Natalie, Natalie Preston."

"Not your friends Amy, my friends."

Amy looked at her for a moment as she tried to recall the dynamics of elementary school, her face dropped as she found it impossible to recall anyone really spending time with Lucy apart from her.

"Precisely, I wasn't exactly the popular kid. I was fat and ugly. I wore those awful sweaters because I didn't want to compare myself to my sister by dressing like her. Once you left that was pretty much it for me. No one wanted to hang out with Lucy Fabray. So I tried to find something outside of school that I could do that might make me some version, I got into gymnastics and ballet. For my 13th birthday I asked dad for a nose job, anything to make me a better Fabray ambassador, right? After that I moved schools, got the family to start calling me Quinn so that no one would know I used to be her and the rest is history."

"Wow." Amy looked shocked.

"Yeah."

"Do you like it, being Quinn, is it better?"

"It's not like it could be worse. People talk to Quinn."

"I talked to Lucy."

"You were the only one though."

"So what's Quinn like? What do you do now? Please say you still draw those awesome cartoons of all your teachers, I used to love those."

"I haven't really drawn in ages, not properly," She cringed for what must have been the tenth time that day as she remembered the many angry drawings she'd made of Rachel, at least she still had some creative outlet. "I haven't really had the time."

"So what do you do then? I mean I haven't changed all that much. I mean obviously I've grown up, read less Harry Potter and more Elizabeth Wurtzel, but generally I'm still pretty much me. Still letting my mouth get me into trouble, still seeing how far I can push before dad gets angry, still asking too many questions. Man I remember how that used to annoy your dad, I was surprised he let us keep being friends the way he would get angry at me."

"You're dad had status, my dad liked that. As for what I do. I'm head cheerleader, or I was. First fresheman to be made head of the Cheerios, we were national champions."

"Seriously? Wow, Luce, that's amazing. Quinn, sorry, Quinn, it's going to take me a while to get used to that."

"Just don't, don't do it in front of anyone. I don't want to have to explain myself." Her voice had an almost plaintive tone that Amy couldn't ever remember hearing from Lucy.

"I won't, I promise. So you said you were head cheerleader, not anymore?"

"I quit for some friends. Actually I kind of quit for me but no one knows that."

"Why?"

"Why does no one know or why did I quit?"

"Both."

"I quit because the coach was a bitch who didn't care what she did to my friend as long as we won. And I think maybe I quit because there were things, people I cared more about than being top of the heap at William McKinley high, you know? Like maybe there should be more than people being scared of me."

"People are scared of you these days?"

"Quinn can be terrifying" She gave one of her death glares, what Finn called scary Quinn.

"OK, I can see that, carry on."

"Anyway. I kind of owed some people I guess, because they'd been there for me, even if I didn't acknowledge it at the time. So I quit. No more special treatment, no more kids cowering in corners or letting me cut in the lunch line. But like I say it's not like we were really that close or anything so they didn't need to know it was kind of for them."

"And who were these othere people, the ones that had helped you?"

"It's lame."

"Hey, I still have a total crush on Ben Affleck despite him not aging well, that's lame."

"I'm in a glee club."

"OK, not what I expected, I was thinking some lame sport like softball."

"You thought I'd play softball?" Quinn arched her eyebrows, not sure exactly what about her said softball and definitely not wanting to think about it too much.

"Sure, why not?" Amy shrugged her shoulders.

"Have you seen what I'm wearing?" Quinn almost laughed.

"Hey, no stereotypes here. I'm sure there are lots of girls in Anthrolopogie dresses who love softball. Anyway, glee club, huh? Guess it could be cool, what kind of stuff do you sing?"

"It's pretty varied. I mean our coach has this weird obsession with rapping but otherwise we can pretty much do what we like."

"Well that's cool. So they're your friends, these glee kids?"

Quinn looked away, knowing that any eye contact would betray her lie.

"Yeah, something like that."

Amy saw it, saw that look she'd forgotten, the look Lucy used to get all those years ago. She wanted to go sit next to her old friend and hug her like she used to. Tell her they were just being jerks and they were jealous because none of them were talented like she was. She was going to be a famous artist one day and they would all be stuck living in Ohio forever. But she didn't know if she could do that with Quinn. Did Quinn like hugs? Did Quinn still need to be reassured that she was more than everything her parents told her she was in that way that Lucy had? She decided to risk it. Getting up she moved across the room and sat next to Quinn, tentatively putting her hand around the girl's shoulders and giving a light squeeze.

"Hey, it's OK you know. We're 17, life's meant to be kind of sucky."

Quinn bristled and shrugged off Amy's arm.

"Did I say anything was wrong with my life?" Her voice oscillated between angry and scared, "I'm fine OK. Everything is fine."

"Quinn."

Her name sounded weird when Amy spoke it, wrong in so many ways.

"No." Quinn didn't want to listen.

"Quinn. You don't have to tell me what's wrong but I know that you're not fine. It might have been 7 years and some kind of crazy final scene from a teen movie transformation, but I still know you. You don't have to hide with me. But also know it's been 7 years and I'm not your best friend anymore, hell we hardly know each other. So I don't expect you to just open up and tell me what's going on with you. But you can, whenever you want. We're stuck here for a week and I'm pretty sure whatever it is you've got to talk about is far more interesting than the intricacies of the epistles from the apostles." She tried to look Quinn in the eye but Quinn kept staring ahead, her jaw tight, "I'm gonna go explore for a while, I'll be back before dinner, maybe we can head down together, make sure we don't have to sit near any of the kids who only spout gospel and have never been allowed to listen to a Katy Perry song."

Quinn smiled a little despite herself but didn't look anywhere apart from the wall opposite until Amy had left the room. She finally let out a breath and swiped at the one small tear that had escaped and tried to make its way down her cheek. She was not going to let Amy get to her. Lucy was a long time and a lot of work ago. So Quinn wasn't working out for the best right now, but at least people looked at her for mostly the right reasons these days. Only people that knew her story gave her that pitying look now, that look Lucy used to get from everyone, including strangers.

She started to unpack her bag and put clothes in the dresser on her side of the room. Hanging up the last of her dresses she reached into the pocket at the side of the bag to get her washroom stuff out. As she pulled the small waterproof bag out something fell out of the pocket. It fell to the floor and she stared at it, frozen in place for a moment. She could make out the words written in pen on the slip of paper sheathed in plastic.

Miss L Q Fabray, Maternity

She remembered how it had felt, wrapped around her wrist. How it had helped to concentrate on the scratch of the plastic as the pain ripped through her. How cutting it off had felt like the last connection she had to a child she would never know. She'd forgotten she'd stashed it in there. Actually maybe she hadn't, maybe part of her had known full well exactly where it was but didn't want to ever think about it. She slumped down on the floor and slowly inched her fingers toward the plastic bracelet, letting her fingers run over the edge. She remembered Beth's tiny fist rubbing against it, almost holding onto her, almost being hers. This was the only thing she had they had both touched. How stupid was that? She couldn't help but wonder if Lucy would have got into the same mess. Surely Lucy would have been too sensible to get drunk and ruin any chance she had of getting out of Lima somehow still whole. But then hadn't she been Lucy that night, wasn't that how it'd happened. A few drinks and the scared brunette reared her ugly head. Lucy felt fat and insecure and unlovable. But all Puck had seen was Quinn and Lucy wanted so desperately to be Quinn. Maybe it would never have happened if she'd been better at getting rid of Lucy.

Forcing back the tears she closed her eyes, grabbed the bracelet and forced it back into her bag so she could do her best to try and forget it again knowing she would never succeed. She put her stuff in the bathroom and went back to her bed. She lay on her back and looked up at the ceiling. Breathing slowly she reigned back in her sadness and got as close to returning to equilibrium as possible. She just had to hold it in until she got back home and could slip back into her routine again. At home she could be what she needed to be, cold and ruthless at school, bitchy and sarcastic with Santana, polite but distant with her mom. She knew her roles at home, knew who she was meant to be. Seeing Amy had thrown her into a tailspin. She just needed to get control again and she'd be fine. Everything would be fine.

She must have fallen asleep for a little while because suddenly it was dark. It was a Monday evening. If the rest of the summer was anything to go by she would have been with Santana if she'd been at home. After New York they'd rekindled whatever it was their relationship was. She guessed they were friends. So Monday nights they usually watched whatever was on E and sometimes Santana would allow herself to comment on some hot actress before looking at Quinn to gauge her reaction. Really Quinn didn't care. A couple of years ago she would have told Santana that those kind of thoughts were ungodly; would have suggested that Santana go home and pray that Jesus could help her through her troubles. Now she just hoped that whatever Santana decided would at least make her happy. Because she might always have been a bitch but until recently Santana had also been a pretty content bitch. Thinking of home made her thoughts drift to the one place they always ended up, Finn and Rachel. They were probably on their way to some really cutesy date that would have Rachel practically throwing up with joy because Finn had opened a door for her or something. He'd take her to some restaurant where she'd have to ask them to take the cheese out of whatever she ordered because that was the closest they'd have to a vegan option and Finn would ask if she'd never liked cheese. She got annoyed at herself for constructing such an elaborate fantasy but it just made her so angry, the two of them. Because they'd both denied it, over and over again. But she'd known it. From the moment he'd seen her Finn had wanted Rachel. And it wasn't even that she still wanted Finn, not really. It was just that for once in her life she wanted, needed, to be first choice. But then why would she be anyone's first choice, she didn't even know who she was. She certainly wasn't Lucy anymore, she'd put a lot of work into that, and she'd done a pretty terrible job of being Quinn. What was left?

Amy had spent an hour walking around most of the camp and figured that was enough time for Quinn to be ready to speak to her again. She passed a group of girls huddled around the door to the neighbouring cabin.

"I can't believe Quinn showed her face here." Some short redhead said to the rest of the group.

Amy had always been a terrible eavesdropper, in that she was really good at it despite knowing she really should try and not do it.

"I know. It's not like a week here can erase the disgrace she brought on her family. It's not surprising her dad left. I feel so sorry for her mom." Some girl in awful shoes replied.

"At least she had the decency to not bring up the baby surrounded by all that shame. Hopefully it went to a good Christian family."

"Hopefully"

Amy couldn't quite get her head around what she was hearing. She understood the words they just didn't make any sense. What had happened in the last 7 years? The one thing she did know was that Lucy probably needed a friend more than ever.