"Honestly, you big dope, you didn't think we'd forget your birthday, did you?"

Frasier turned and smiled, first at Roz, and the at the rest of the Seattle gang, all of whom were looking over downtown San Francisco from his loft apartment.

"I didn't even get a card from any of you," Frasier protested. "What was I supposed to think?"

"Don't be daft," Daphne told him. "Leave you alone in a new city on your birthday? Besides, I've nearly gone out of me mind taking care of David so long. I'm glad Ronee agreed to watch him; now Niles and I can have a second honeymoon."

"Yes, we're looking for a nice beach," Niles said.

"Niles, this is California," Frasier said dryly. "You can practically walk with your eyes closed and hit a beach."

"We want a nice, secluded beach," Niles slyly clarified, and Daphne giggled.

"All right, you two, stop acting like a couple of hormonal teenagers," Martin said, rolling his eyes. "Now, why don't we have some cake?"

Over cake and wine, the 'Seattle Cranes' and Roz sat in Frasier's living room and talked about their scheme. Make it seem as if they'd forgotten about him, and then show up at sundown. It had worked well; Frasier had briefly wondered if he'd gone around the bend when he saw Martin, Niles, Daphne, and Roz show up at his doorstep. But there they were, and he was overjoyed. So much had happened since he'd left Seattle. His detour to Chicago had led to him being snubbed again by Charlotte; in San Francisco, he had not been pleased with his new television show (The Frasier Crane Hour) and had quit—much to Bebe's consternation. Frasier had gone back to private practice, but after five months in San Francisco, he still felt oddly discontent.

"What do you want to do tomorrow, Frasier?" Daphne asked.

"Huh?" Frasier broke out of his reverie.

"Pay attention, Frasier," Niles said. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Yes, we'll go anywhere you want, even an opera or a snooty wine club," Roz declared bravely. "Just for you."

"Actually…I want to take you to something you will never see anywhere else in the world," Frasier said.

"If it's the Jelly Belly factory, we've already been there," Martin informed him.

Frasier glanced at a clock; it was eight p.m. He smiled mysteriously and picked up the remote control.

"Just you see," he proclaimed.

The television flashed on to show Governor Schwarzenegger standing at a podium, with the San Francisco foothills behind him. At the bottom of the screen was a headline: GOVERNOR TO ADDRESS OPENING OF 'JURASSIC PARK'.

The Seattle crew had heard very little of the Isla Nublar disaster many years before or the recent announcement that a new Jurassic Park had been built in the hills north of San Francisco. All of them (including Frasier, at the time) had brushed off the incident at Isla Nublar as conspiracy nonsense.

"Not this again," Roz groaned. "Frasier, you don't really believe this cloned dinosaur nonsense, do you? It's just a them par-,"

"Shhh," Frasier said. Governor Schwarzenegger was speaking.

"Citizens of our great state," he said, "tomorrow, California—no, the whole world—will see a new era. A park with real dinosaurs has been resurrected—permission granted from President Bush himself. The founder of InGen has demonstrated that the park will be safe for all. Without further ado, I give you the visionary himself—Dr. John Hammond."

He stepped aside and Dr. Hammond took his place at the podium. Dr. Hammond wore his disarming, grandfatherly smile as he gripped his amber-headed cane, and the shade of his Panama hat did not hide the gleam in his eyes.

"My friends," he said in that magnetic, cultured, British voice, "I have never given up on my dream to show the whole world what it was like when dinosaurs ruled the earth. Yes, what happened on Isla Nublar was a tragedy, but we learn from the most terrible of mistakes, not run. For how rich would our lives be if we shrank away in fear? Did we stop sending man into space after the Columbia disaster? Cease building towers after 9/11? No. We learned. We grew. Tomorrow, the past will meet the present once again. Welcome…to Jurassic Park."

The camera panned toward what looked like a military fortress nestled on a large hill, except that this "fortress" had dozens of tropical trees rising from it. Above an iron gate was an arch with letters reading: JURASSIC PARK: 65 MILLION YEARS IN THE MAKING.

Frasier snapped the television off and smiled.

"I'd like to take all of you to Jurassic Park tomorrow."

"This sounds absolutely preposterous," Martin said, "but a governor wouldn't go through all that trouble for a joke—even a braggart showman like Arnold."

Frasier's family and his best friend then bid him goodnight and went back to their hotel. Frasier smiled as he closed the door. What an outing they'd have. A dinosaur park was ridiculous. Impossible. Thrilling.


"It's…it's…it's a dinosaur," Martin said faintly.

"Three dinosaurs," Daphne said, looking farther.

It was a splendid afternoon, for the California sun was out in all its glory and the air was warm and balmy. It was the perfect day for seeing dinosaurs, and Jurassic Park surrounded them. The early crowds had dispersed, so it was easier to get a good view of the first paddock, which was home to graceful brachiosaurs.

"I always thought science was for nerds," Roz said in her usual blunt way, "but if science can give us this…I still wonder if I'm dreaming!"

"You're not," Daphne said calmly, before adding with a grin, "And might I remind you all that it was a British person who invented Jurassic Park? You Americans have a lot of catching up to do."

"The implications are alarming, though," Niles murmured in a brooding tone. "Science is a beautiful and dangerous thing. It can—,"

"Oh, don't be an old fusspot and come look at these cute ankylosaurs," Daphne said playfully as they moved on. "They look like little tanks with legs."

"Yeah, and they can shatter your legs," Roz said dryly as she looked at an informational sign.

They moved from one paddock to the next in absolute amazement. They didn't feel uneasy, either. Every paddock was surrounded by a thick, high, clear wall of a new material called 'Steelglass'. InGen had proclaimed it was unbreakable—already construction companies in hurricane and tornado prone places were putting up bids for the patent.

Their collective feeling of disbelief relaxed a little when they saw the coelphysis. She was a gangly, skinny, sharp-faced creature that looked like a velociraptor that had been on a diet too long. She stood in the shade of a large banana tree and looked suspiciously at the humans, while holding a piece of meat in her narrow fingers. She took one small bite and threw it down with a disdainful look.

"You know, that dinosaur kind of looks like Maris," Martin said. "Alarmingly skinny, permanent look of superiority…"

"Cold-blooded," Frasier chimed in.

"Vengeful killer…" Daphne muttered, still not forgetting the hell Maris had put her and Niles through.

"But it's all long over, my pet," Niles said reassuringly, giving his wife a quick hug.

"It says here that the coelphysis lived in deep rainforests and rarely came out into the sunlight," Martin said. "This dinosaur is sounding more like Maris every minute."

"Come on, you lot," Roz said in annoyance. "We're going to miss the mosasaur show!"

The enraptured crowd was delighted when they saw the gargantuan, shark-like reptile leaping into the air to chomp down…well, a shark. Martin was especially thrilled, declaring that the gator feeding he had seen in Florida looked silly compared to this.

"I have to come back here and bring Alice to see this. She's be thrilled!" Roz declared.

Now there was one dinosaur left to see—Tyrannosaurus Rex herself.

The rex paddock was heavily fortified; the wall was taller and thicker, as well topped with electrified metal railings.

The rex was easy to see; her paddock was smaller, thus giving visitors a better chance of seeing her up close. She was nosing around in the tall grass while a stunned audience watched. Then, in an instant, she snapped her jaws shut on something. When she tossed her head back, everyone gasped (and a few children cried): the tyrannosaur had just eaten a goat.

The crowd burst into cheers, clapping and screaming, some jumping up and down in excitement. The rex suddenly became agitated, stomping her feet and snapping her jaws. What this crowd did not know was that she'd been putting up with this all day. There was no where to go to escape the noise of the crowd. The rex was the park's biggest attraction, and she suffered for it.

An agonized moan escaped the creature's toothy jaws.

"Wow, she's fierce!" someone yelled.

Rexy roared again—and then charged the wall, smashing at it with her head and tail.

"You were kind of like Rexy when you were pregnant," Niles chirped.

"Oh, shut up, you," Daphne said, but she laughed. "I was a pain, wasn't I?"

"You were still my angel, just a little hormonal. Okay, a lot hormonal," Niles said wickedly.

They had temporarily been distracted from Rexy's furor, but their heads snapped up when they heard a large cracking sound. The Steelglass was cracking.

"Run!" someone yelled.

There was no laughing now. It was absolute pandemonium as everyone took to their heels. Everyone, that is, but Frasier and the people he held most dear. A sobering thought had occurred to him, and when he gave Niles, Daphne, and Roz a swift look, he knew they had realized the same thing.

They had a chance at escape, and Martin didn't. Instinctively, they drew closer to him as the crowd stampeded by, watching the glass slowly cracking. Martin realized what they were doing and he turned to his sons.

"Go, all of you. Save yourselves," he whispered.

"Like hell," Roz hissed.

"We're not going anywhere, old man," Daphne murmured.

Frasier and Niles couldn't speak, but they pressed even closer to their father. The crowd was far away by then, but the rex was still trashing about.

Then—a miracle. A cart driven by a park employee raced by.

"I can take one," she said quickly. "Hurry!"

"Martin," Roz said in that voice that could quell almost anyone, "get on."

Martin seemed resigned to their insistence, gave one heartbreaking, parting look, and got on the cart. The driver wasted no time zooming away. Frasier, Niles, Daphne, and Roz were all alone. They watched the rex continue to hurl herself against the wall.

One more charge…

Amid a shower of glass shards, the tyrannosaur stepped onto the path. The electrified poles hit her hard skull and bounced off; she hardly noticed the shock. Rexy was staring with the eyes of a hounded animal at its breaking point.


Ok, this is pretty weird, huh? Frasier x Jurassic Park? Please stay with me...