Narutoast
Naruto came into the grass where a great fight was taking place. He fought Orochimaru and Hidan and Pein and Madara all at the same time because he was the ultimate kitsune. When fight was over, he kneeled to the ground and shed his tear of sorrow because he was left unfulfilled with his ninja life. He no longer wished to become Hokage, he wished only to eat his missed breakfast.
"I need to eat food now," Naruto said.
He went to his ninja mansion on the top of the mountain overlooking the Leave Village, where he sat at his kitchen table, poured a cup of coffee, and heavily sighed. Sorrow poured through his ancient ninja veins.
"What is wrong, Naruto?" asked the ancient magic ninja demon kitsune beast inside him from inside his head.
"I feel empty now," responded Naruto. "I have nothing in my life which makes me happy." The spiky-headed blond picked up his modest breakfast from the plate on the table, and stared at it. "Except this toast. Wonderful toast." Naruto bit the toast and chewed happily. "I wish I was toast."
Then he shed more tear, which was a key to the kitsune's heart! Kitsune granted Naruto his secret wish and then in a bright flash of light, Naruto was transformed.
"What is this?" he gasped.
He was toast.
"This is wonderful!" screamed Naruto loudly. "DATTEBAYO!"
He laid on the table on the plate, a delicious and crisp piece of toast, browned to perfection.
"I can't move," said Naruto, struggling to budge his still toast body. Nothing happened. He had no real sensation of arms or legs. Only a gentle feeling of surrounding crusts.
"Of course not, stupid. You are toast," the kitsune inside him reminded him.
"Oh."
Naruto sat on the plate.
"THIS IS SO COOL!" he shouted after fifteen minutes of doing nothing.
The door opened wide, washing over the room with light. "NARUTO?" The voice was loud, most definitely feminine and disruptive of his morning relaxation.
"Not Sakura-chan!" Naruto groaned. The thought crept into his mind and he snickered deviously. "Wait, she won't find me here!"
The pink haired kunoichi entered the room and looked around, not seeing Naruto anywhere though she had heard his voice quite clearly. "I know you're there, Naruto! Kakashi wants to take us fishing so get out here you DICKHEAD!"
Naruto remained silent and toast-like on the plate.
"Naruto!" Sakura wasn't put off by his disappearance. She inspected the room further, flipping chairs in her anger. "GODDAMN IT, NARUTO! GET OUT HERE!"
The plate remained on the table. Sakura's eyes went to it. She could have sworn that damn piece of toast was snickering at her.
"Da fuq?" she wondered aloud, coming over to the plate and sticking her face over it. She stared down at it for five minutes without blinking. The toast did not move or make sudden noises.
She picked up a butter knife. Taking the container of butter sitting out on the table, she wiped some on the knife and held it above the toast. The toast didn't move. Sakura lowered the knife to the toast and began buttering it slowly and methodically. It moved. She saw it wiggle. Holding her breath, she continued to butter the demon toast.
"HA HA HA HA STOP IT, STOP IT! THAT TICKLES!" the toast screamed, shaking under the knife. Sakura screamed and threw the knife over her shoulder. It crashed through the window.
"NARUTO, WHAT THE FUCK?" she demanded.
"What? I became toast. So what! Don't be racist," Naruto responded moodily.
"Why in the hell would you become toast? That's the dumbest thing ever," was Sakura's witty comeback. She picked up Naruto and stared at him in a mixture of disgust and awe. "How are you even talking?"
"Magic?"
"Oh fuck it, let's just go." Sakura stormed out the doorway, eager to back before Sasuke ate all the pocky.
As for Naruto, Naruto had many ninja-toast adventures!
End.
