Author's Note: This is my first foray into fan fiction in general, and it takes place right after the events in 4x06, not too spoilery, but it won't make much sense if you haven't seen that episode. Hope you like it and take the time to let me know what you think. Thank you!


It was the first time that she had said that she loved him. Well, maybe not the first time, but it was the first time he heard her say it. The last time she confessed her love, he was dead on the floor, and he obviously didn't hear her then. It wasn't like they both didn't know how they felt, it was the whole reason they were in the situation they were in, but somehow, they kept dancing around everything, and saying nothing.

It felt good to yell at him a little and tell him how she felt. It also felt good to turn her back and leave him open mouthed and shocked at her declaration. Maybe more of Lexie had stayed with her than she had thought. She felt bold and determined. It wasn't fair that he wanted more of her than he could give himself. They were where they were because he couldn't respect her decision to go into the barn and end the troubles. To her, it only seemed like a short time ago that she said the hardest goodbye she could have faced, but she knew he would be safe, she knew Duke would keep him from following her in. It was the hardest thing she had ever done, to turn her back and walk away from him.

But, she had done it, and he couldn't let her go. To know he had suffered so much in the past six months was heart breaking, but she couldn't excuse him for wanting to die, or for wanting her to see it as a reasonable course of action!

They were two pieces of the same puzzle, she understood that now. They kept being thrown together, whether she was Sarah, Audrey or Lexie. There had to be another way, and she was determined to find it. She was not going to kill the other half of her soul. When she was still in the barn, in those final moments before she threw herself through the door, she realized that she did have a huge gaping hole, a weight that seemed to sap her strength. When she looked through the door and saw the figures in the distance, when she heard him, calling 'Audrey' with such a sense of pain and longing, it cut right to that place where she felt empty inside. That voice resonated within her, pulled at her like she was tied to a string, and he was holding the other end. The pain and despair in his voice, the longing and need, how could she want to be any other than the person he was calling out for? When William told her that on the other side she would be the person she most wanted to be, in that instance before she stepped through, she knew what she wanted most was to be who he was waiting for.

Hopefully, she could make him see. Make him understand that his plan wasn't going to happen. She had sacrificed too much, lost too many parts of herself to be willing to surrender to this.

She looked up and took notice of her surroundings for the first time since she had left the station. She was wandering aimlessly, but she had swung around and seemed to be walking back to the station. She didn't really have a plan when she left his office, but she knew she couldn't stay there right then. She decided to get back to her car and maybe go home. She needed to think, and that was hard when she was with him. The desires to alternately kiss him and hit him were definitely at war right now. It was so hard to have seen the hurt she was causing him the last couple of days when she was pushing him away by being Lexie. For someone so stoic, it seemed like she could read each emotion on his face as it occurred. She felt like lately, all she had been doing was to push him away. She wasted time they could have been together before she went into the barn. Her whole goal of protecting him was a failure. She should have known that it wouldn't work. Fate seems to be pushing them together, over and over again, and she was tired of fighting it. She wants him, wants to feel his arms around her, to feel safe, to feel the overwhelming depth of his emotions, and to finally let him see hers.

But, are they destined for that little two-story house with the white picket fence? Little league or ballet practice with their children? Growing old in their rocking chairs on the front porch? Somehow, she didn't think so, but if they were to have any chance, she had to find a way. Find a way to end the troubles, once and for all. Find a way that didn't include the death of anyone she loved. They had found their way out of bad situations before, if she could go into the barn and find her way back to him, and then anything was possible. Together, they were unstoppable.

She stopped walking and considered that. They were at their best when they were in sync, when they were focused on the same goal, when they were really like two halves of a whole. Maybe she could forgive him, forgive his unthinkable request, she needed him, and in more than one way.

It was then her phone rang. She looked at the display, but she knew who it was. She always knew when he was reaching out for her.

"Hello", she answered.

"I love you too," he said.

She closed her eyes, feeling the truth of it wash over her. They could do it, they could find a way. As long as they were together.