This is what happens when I listen to music while I'm trying to do something. I end up having to write a story for whichever song gets stuck in my head. This time it was two songs, this first one being "Have A Little Faith In Me" by John Hiatt. Anything familiar belongs to Janet. The mistakes are mine.

"Stephanie ... I can out wait, out patience, and out silence you," Ranger said from the chair by my Rangeman desk, "so there's no point in ignoring me. I'm not leaving - or leaving you alone - until you tell me why Hal said you've been staring at your blank computer screen for the last fifteen minutes without moving."

Damn Hal and his tattletaling ways. I didn't want to think about this anymore, let alone discuss it at work with my boss, who just happens to be another guy I love. Joe and Ranger have become somewhat adversarial since I admitted to having feelings for both, and what I'm currently trying to process won't make their - or our - relationship any easier.

I came to work today hoping to distract myself from the text I'd sent Morelli this morning, severing all ties, loyalty, and bedroom benefits forever. If the latest rumors are true, he didn't deserve a phone call. I don't know if I'm numb or just realizing that I'm not as invested in a life with Joe as I'd been hoping to be. Ranger will find out everything soon enough, but I was counting on my embarrassment dying down a little by then.

"Babe, if you don't want to talk here, then let's go up to seven. We will have privacy or, at the very least, I'll have a more comfortable place to sit while you avoid looking at me."

I couldn't help it, a small smile tugged at my lips. Ranger can always turn my feelings or emotions around to get him what he wants. Usually ... it's me Ranger wants. This time, it's answers. I thought it best not to point out that he could have both if he tried. The other thought that has been constantly in my mind is ... will Ranger bother trying to get close to me once I tell him that my on again/off again, should we/shouldn't we relationship with Joe has been given a time of death? Seven thirteen this morning to be exact.

"I'm not avoiding you, Ranger," I said, finally. "I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Then talk to me about it, Babe. I'm a problem solver, and if you give me a chance, I might be able to solve yours."

"I think I just took care of my biggest one," I told him. "It's the ripple effects from it that I'm now trying to sort out."

Ranger didn't need to beg, plead, or give an order, to get me moving. Being more a man of action, Ranger kicked my chair a little further away from my desk and pulled me out of it, tugging me past a nervous looking Hal to the elevator. Hal's nerves were probably the result of the death glare I shot him over my shoulder before Ranger pushed me gently into the elevator car.

I went the mature route and crossed my arms over my breasts, and didn't say a thing until the doors opened and I was let inside Ranger's lair. Since it was too early for a glass of wine, I went straight to the couch in his den. As I settled into the butter-soft leather, I had to give Ranger credit, this is way more comfortable than a desk chair. But I knew any hope of not telling Ranger anything is gone now.

He sat down beside me and pulled my legs up and over his lap. A classic Ranger move. One that could be seen as safe and friendly or dangerous and sexy.

"Is this personal or professional?" Ranger asked, starting the inquisition.

"Both, but falling a little heavier on the personal side," I told him.

"Morelli?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I heard a few rumors that didn't involve the usual suspect this time, and I've decided not to stick around to see if these are in fact ... facts."

"You think he's cheating on you?" Ranger asked me, his voice quiet.

Yep ... this isn't going to help Ranger and Joe get along at all.

"I don't know. There have always been rumors about him, but considering what you and I have done together, I can't exactly get pissed and point fingers."

Ranger squeezed my shin. "Babe, we never slept together when you and Morelli were a couple."

"But we did make out a bunch of times," I said to him. "And that counts."

"So why are you upset now if everything is the same as it's been?"

I covered my face with my hands and took two deep breaths before I answered Ranger.

"What's changed is that I've been trying to make this thing with Joe work, but the whispers and pity-filled looks are always there in the back of my mind. If I did stay with Joe, would I be signing up for a repeat performance of mine and Dickie's marriage? Or wreck it all by myself by assuming that's how it will end."

"Just because Orr was a bigger whore than you think Joyce is, doesn't mean that all men think with their dicks, Babe."

"So it's just a coincidence that the only men I have been serious about seem to eventually look past me in search of something better? Isn't there a saying about how if you keep having the same issues over and over again with different people then you're most likely the problem?"

"You're forgetting someone besides Orr and Morelli, Steph," Ranger said to me.

There was that guy I dated who owned a bike shop, but he and I both knew it wasn't going to last long or hurt when it ended.

"Who?" I asked him.

"Me."

My mouth formed what I'm sure was a very unflattering 'O' right before I laughed.

"Babe."

"Sorry," I said to Ranger, "but you have to admit how funny that is."

Ranger had let his hands rest on my legs, one on my thigh and the other right above my ankle. I seriously thought that if I was to look under the leg of my Rangeman-issued uniform, I'd see outlines of both hands seared into my skin ... but that didn't make what we have a relationship.

"Why is that thought amusing to you?" Ranger asked.

"Should I quote you here?" I asked him. "Or just list my observations?"

"I'm not joking, Babe."

"Neither am I."

"I've admitted to loving you numerous times and in every conceivable situation ..."

"You've also said that you couldn't give me a ring."

"And aren't you the one who has said you don't want one?" Ranger told me.

Shit. Ranger had me there. The first time I got the hell away from Joe was when I thought I could have been pregnant. The second, was when Joe seemed to be serious about marrying me. Commitment hasn't been my thing. I saw it more as my biggest fear. And that right there, I guess, proves that I have been the problem one in my relationships. I bet the only reason Ranger still sticks with me is because I haven't subjected him to one.

"Yeah," I said, finally, "I did say something about not wanting to get married."

"If we take marriage off the table," Ranger said, his hands moving on me again, making slow circles over the black fabric, "have you ever doubted my feelings for you?"

"No. Not many men would be brave enough to swim in the Delaware, let alone dive a hundred feet into it to haul my ass out. Or willingly risk prosecution by kidnapping a woman at gunpoint to locate Spiro's property when you thought I was being held there."

"I would do the same again, Steph. There really isn't a line I wouldn't cross for you."

"I know, Ranger. I'm convinced it would be impossible to find a better man, better person, than you. That's why you're always the first person I call when I need someone."

"Are there any other reasons why I come first in your mind, Babe?" Ranger asked me, taking my hand this time.

"Because next to Mary Lou, you're my best friend ..."

"And?"

"I know you always have my best interests in mind whenever you give me advice."

"I didn't when I told you to fix what you had with Morelli," Ranger admitted.

"Yeah, that wasn't the best moment for either of us."

"Steph, I've loved you for a long time without expecting anything back from you ..."

"Ranger, don't think that I haven't noticed all the times you've been there to catch me whenever I was about to fall on my face. And in most cases, you've shown up in time to prevent the fall in the first place. I just never thought you'd see me as more than just someone you have to rescue."

"Then you haven't had enough faith in me, Babe," Ranger said, quietly. "Or in yourself for that matter."

"Maybe not. But I'm going to do things different next time around," I said to him.

"Meaning?"

"That if I ever find myself in bed with you again, I may decide to stay in it despite our concerns about what it could lead to."

"Be careful what you say, Steph," Ranger told me, his eyes boring into mine, "because if I no longer have to worry about Morelli catching us, we'll have plenty of time to be together. And that could lead to me ordering you not to leave my bed for any reason."

I bit my lip gently. That sounded a lot like the start of something new between us, while not exactly changing what we both have counted on from each other.

"Right now, I'd really like to see if that's actually what would happen, but I still have a job to do downstairs," I told Ranger.

Ranger slid his arms under my body and picked me up off the couch. And though my sense of direction is usually bad, I was pretty sure he was taking me to his bedroom not back down to five.

"You have a job to do up here first, Babe," Ranger said, placing me on his bed and leaning over me with his wrists flanking my hips.

"And what job is that?" I asked, watching Ranger's face slowly descend.

"To love me, Steph, the way I have you ... completely, honestly, and now fearlessly."

When Ranger's perfect lips claimed mine, I could think of nothing I'd like to do more than love him back.