A/N: So... Since I've discovered OUAT, something like a month ago, I've been so obsessed. And I'm such a HUGE SwanQueen shipper. I see the chemistry - come on, who doesn't? And I love reading SQ fics. So I started writing my own. They give me so much inspiration, scenes and ideas are just popping out in my head. So, here it is. My SQ story :)
I promise I won't abandon Addicted To You. I'll be updating both of them very frequently. So continue reading. I just had to post this. I hope you're gonna love it :)
CHAPTER 1: An end is sometimes a new start
"Shit. Oh, shit!" Emma yelled, trying to strap on her left boot and wear the jacket at the same time. It basically looked like she was hopping around the room on one leg. Snow laughed to the scene, and the sound made Emma turn around.
"Something funny?" she looked at her mother, leaned against the door. Then she glanced at the clock once again. "I'm gonna be so late!"
"I'm sure Neal won't mind."
Emma frowned. Neal. The sound of his name reminded her in an instant that, in a half an hour or so, she'll be about to break his heart. It was hard enough to make the decision and change her mind like a thousand of times, did she also had to be late?
"I'll be back late," she said, taking the car keys from the kitchen counter. Snow walked her to the door, smiling.
"Have fun, sweetie."
"Sure," she mumbled. She walked out of the apartment, but then turned around to Snow again. "Oh, I almost forgot. Regina is dropping Henry off later. She's having drinks with Tink."
"Socializing, huh? Okay." Snow smiled. "Enjoy!"
Sure, Emma thought to herself while getting into her yellow Bug. Her mother didn't know she had decided to break up with Neal. If there even was something to break. She wasn't really sure what the two of them had, but they've been dating since they came back from Neverland, and it wasn't going anywhere. In this almost two months, Emma and Neal had shared several dates, kind of 'family afternoons' with their son and they even came close to a passionate night, but she stopped it right in time. That was when she realized she's not in love with him anymore. Neverland has changed them all, some more, some less, but the fact was they were not the same people anymore. And in this case, surely not the same people they were eleven years ago. Yes, she had loved him once. A lot. He was her first love and a part of those strong feelings she once felt will never disappear. But it was not the same.
Another reason to stop this was Henry. Emma noticed that his head was starting to make ideas, hopes. He sincerely believed his family is going to be back together. Well, neglecting the fact they never truly were a real family... However, she saw the look in his eyes during their times together and she could easily read it. No matter how fast he was growing up, Henry was still just a child. And all kids want their parents together, as a real family. Of course she had recognized the look - she saw it many times in the mirror. It was the same hope that was growing inside her all her childhood. The hope that one day she'll have her family again.
When she parked her car in front of The Rabbit Hole, Emma took a deep breath and opened the door. She had no idea how the fuck is she gonna do this; how is she going to explain Neal that this has to be over without totally breaking his heart? Well, if there was one thing she learned during the 28 years in the 'real' world, it was that saying goodbye always breaks the heart. No matter how lovely and beautiful it all was, the end is always painful. And there is no exception.
With another deep breath, Emma locked the car and entered the bar.
''Sorry I'm late, Tink!'' Regina said right from the door, entering Granny's and looking around to find Tink. Then she spotted two heads on the bar that turned around at her call.
''Tink and Hook,'' she corrected herself in a questioning tone as she walked towards them. ''Why are you here?''
''The same reason you are, love.'' Hook grinned, raising up his glass. ''Having drinks.''
''Yeah, I thought it was girls' night. Tink.''
The fairy smiled to her and shrugged. ''I found him here.''
''Do you mind me joining you, Your Majesty?''
''Do not call me that.'' Regina's dark eyes pierced him with a glance of anger. But then she smiled widely and nodded. ''Of course I don't mind. Looks like it will be girls' night after all.''
''Very funny.''
She approached the bar and took a seat next to Tink, with Hook sitting on the fairy's left. She removed her black coat, ordered a double shot of whiskey and turned to them.
''Go easy, girl,'' Tink looked at her drink. ''I won't drive you home.''
''Probably because you can't drive. And you don't get to be my mother either.''
''I'm your fairy, I'm just worried.''
''When did that happen?'' Regina took a sip. ''You being my fairy?''
''She's not your fairy,'' Hook said. ''She's nobody's fairy.''
''What do you know about that, pirate?'' Tink rebelled. Hook smirked at her.
''Come on, you're even worse than her. I bet you'll be drunk by eleven.''
''I can control myself.''
''Yeah, right. You can be my fairy, though.'' He winked. Tink made a face like she was about to throw up.
''In your dreams.''
''Okay, I don't like people around me fighting when I'm not involved,'' Regina stopped them. ''Do you have any interesting stories to share? Or I can just go and drink at home?''
''Well, I've heard one,'' Hook announced and the two women automatically leaned their heads closer. ''About,'' he stopped to look around and then continued, ''Ruby.''
''Juicy one?''
Hook nodded. Regina drank up her whiskey and licked her lips.
''Bring it on.''
Emma's eyes were fixing the glass of red wine in front of her. She was holding it with both hands, peering at it intensively. It was so red. Like blood, Emma thought. Blood of a bleeding, broken heart.
How is she going to do this? How? Will Neal ever be able to forgive her?
Or, more important, will Henry?
''Emma, are you with me?'' Neal joked. She blinked once, twice, and tuned in again, shutting off her thoughts.
''Yeah.''
''Did you hear what I just said?''
''Um… No. Sorry. I wandered away.''
''I said it seems to me that we're starting to get along great. You know, as a family. We really brought back the connection.''
What fucking connection? There was never a connection. We were never a family, Emma though again. Never.
''I think you and Henry should get your own place.''
''What?'' she asked, raising her tone of voice just a little bit. ''Why?''
''Well, for start, you parents' apartment is really too small for four people. And Henry is getting bigger, older. He'll need more space, privacy.''
''Hold on, hold on.'' Emma waved with her hand, motioning Neal to stop. ''You're saying we should move out?''
''Yes.'' Neal nodded and took a sip of his drink before he continued. ''And I was thinking maybe you could… move in with… me?''
''What the hell?!'' Emma's reaction was a little bit too loud, so every face around the bar turned to them to see what was going on. She didn't even notice, too busy trying to explain Neal he was wrong. Very wrong.
''Emma, I… It was just a thought,'' he tried to justify his words. Neal sure wasn't expecting this kind of reaction. Her knew Emma, and he knew she was a little bit… temperament. But his expectations still looked something like: Oh, I don't know, I'll think about it.
''What the fuck do you think you're doing here?'' she attacked again, not saving any words. ''We haven't been dating longer than a month and a half.''
''Actually, it's almost two. And, Emma, we have a son.''
''I know that fact. But, if you don't remember, you just met your son a few months ago. And we haven't seen each other in eleven years. Eleven!''
Emma stopped to catch breath and drink a sip of wine, which turned into emptying the whole glass and ordering another one.
''Actually, give me some scotch. Double shot.''
''Why are you reacting like this?''
''Why are you even coming up with this?'' she answered him with a question. ''Yes, I've been thinking about getting our own place. Eventually, it will have to happen.''
''Well, yeah. And you'll have to move in at some point.''
She couldn't believe what she heard. Neal was acting like this whole family thing actually meant that they'll be back together. Well, she sure didn't share these thoughts. Their dating didn't include moving in, saying I do and being a happy little family forever – she had never insinuated any of these. It was simply trying to revive something that they though they still felt. But it wasn't turning out well and Emma was ready to stop it. Now even more.
''Have you lost your mind? Do you think me grabbing a drink with you here and there means I'm gonna move in and marry you? Are you insane?''
''What? A drink here and there? Emma I was... We're dating.''
''Yes, we were,'' she said, carefully accentuating the last word. Neal did not, however, overhear that.
''We were?''
''Neal…'' Emma took a deep breathe, third time this evening, and looked at him. ''I think this won't work.''
''What? You're… You're dumping me?''
''Sort of, yeah. I mean… I don't know what to say. I don't feel right. I thought I still had feelings for you, but it's been too long. I loved you once, very much. But…'' She tried to smile. ''It's gone.''
Neal looked down at his glass, frozen. He said nothing. Emma could clearly see he was broken. He created illusions, hopes, and now it was all gone. It hurt her to see him like this. She would do anything to stop it, but she had to do this. She had no choice – trying to revive something that was long gone just wasn't the right thing to do.
''I'm sorry,'' she said, trying to make him feel better. But when she looked up at her and she saw that empty, painful look in his eyes, she knew she had crushed his heart. And she would give anything to erase that pain from his eyes.
It was just impossible.
Neal drank up all of his drink and got up, putting his coat back on.
''Neal…''
''Don't say a word.'' He turned to her. ''You've said enough for this night.''
''Neal, please, let me- ''
''Goodbye, Emma.''
And with that, he simply walked to the door and left.
Emma turned back to the bar and sighed, leaning her chin on her hands. She completely broke him. But I had no choice, she reminded herself. He just wasn't her happy ending.
''Hey, barmen. Give me another double.''
Tinkerbell burst into laughter right beside her ear and Regina moved a little away, still laughing together with her. Truly, it seemed like pirates were good entertainment.
''Tink, I swear I'm gonna go deaf.''
''Sorry, Regina!'' she apologized, still letting out small sounds of laughter. Hook was looking at her, laughing himself too, his eyes glittering of all the drinks he had had.
''Let's order another shot,'' Tink suggested. ''Granny!''
''Whoa. I think it was enough for the night, fairy,'' Regina warned her. ''You're pretty drunk.''
''So what?''
''What did I tell you?'' Hook looked at the clock and grinned. ''Eleven.''
''Come on, Regina. Don't be such a party breaker.''
Regina sighed, slightly dizzy from all the whiskeys. How many of them were there, though? Four, five? She couldn't quite remember. Actually, she didn't want to. But another drink couldn't harm, right?
''Fine. Just one.''
Tink ordered three more shots and got Granny's concerned look when she brought the drinks.
''Don't worry, we'll take care of her,'' Regina said when she noticed it. Granny then switched the look at her.
''You're not much better either.''
''What? I am not drunk.''
''You will be.'' Tink pushed the glass in her hands. ''Drink.''
Reina couldn't help smiling. Since they got back, she and Tink had developed a kind of friendly relationship. The fairy made her laugh quite often and was always willing to share the newest gossips over a drink on a Friday night. Regina liked it. She finally felt accepted, for the first time in her life people were seeing her as Regina, they were grateful to her for saving everyone's lives and they would even smile to her. It felt really nice.
''To freedom.'' Hook raised his glass up in the air. Tink followed his action.
''To getting drunk and gossip,'' she said. Regina smiled. The word had come to her automatically.
''To friendship,'' she dared saying. The two of them smiled and they clinked their glasses, then drinking up the alcohol.
''This was a mistake,'' Regina announced about ten minutes later. She now felt complete dizziness, not sure if she'll be able to get up from the chair and drag herself home.
''I'm gonna be sick,'' Tink said with her head leaned down on the bar. Hook seemed to be the only one not feeling the aftermath of all the booze.
''It's your fault, Tinkerbell.'' Regina looked around just to see that everyone had already left. They were the only one in the local, except Granny back in the kitchen.
''I think it's time to go home.''
''Oh, pretty, just yet?''
''Shut it, Hook. I have to be able to get up tomorrow.'' She looked at Tink who seemed to have fallen asleep. ''Can you walk her back to Granny's Bed&Breakfast?''
''I will have to. I'm living there too, remember?''
''Yeah, Granny's business had blossomed after we came back.''
Hook laughed. ''Who ever said you're not a funny person was very wrong.''
Regina raised her left eyebrow at him and then laughed. ''Thank you, Hook.''
''I'm flattered, m'lady.''
She grabbed her coat and put it on, dragging her car keys out of the pocket.
''Are you sure you're able to drive?''
''I'm an experienced driver, thank you very much.''
''If you say so.'' Hook looked at Tink. ''I'll have to carry her home. She looks unconscious.''
''Be careful.''
''You too. Night, Your Majesty.''
Regina gave him one of her extremely sharp glances. He shrugged, his lips curled in a grin.
''Good night, pirate,'' she said, walking out of the diner and nearly tripping on the stairs. Maybe driving home wasn't the best idea after all.
When she started the car, she shook her head to free herself from this feeling of dizziness and then drove to the direction of the mansion. She needed to get some sleep if she wanted to get up and have a decent Saturday with her son tomorrow. Emma promised to bring him back in the morning so they could have breakfast together. It was already normal that Emma stayed for breakfast. She and Regina finally stopped fighting and were actually able to have a normal conversation over morning coffee. Although the breakfasts at Regina's were usually a lot more than just coffee. Emma had complimented her pancakes many times, as well as other pastries she made. She herself had absolutely no experience in the kitchen, but was willing to learn so she could at least make her son a decent dinner.
Regina smiled unintentionally. Emma was a part of things that made her feel accepted. She told everyone how Regina had saved them, how she saved Henry and brought them back home. And her presence in the house always made their breakfasts – or any other meal – more pleasant and funny.
As she drove by The Rabbit Hole, she noticed a glimpse of blond hair down on the sidewalk. She noticed too late those blond curls belonged to a familiar face. What the hell is Emma doing on the road in the middle of the night?
She drove backwards to the place Emma was. She was sitting down on the sidewalk, with her head in her knees and her shoulders quivering up and down, like she was crying.
Regina sighed and got out of the car, approaching the woman, slightly touching her shoulder.
''Emma? What are you doing here at this hour?''
Emma looked up at her and Regina noticed in an instant she was drunk as hell. She squinted and let her head fall back down to her knees.
''Emma! Are you okay?''
''I'm not. I'm fucking not okay!'' she yelled. ''I'm a bad person.''
''What happened?'' Regina crouched down next to her. ''What's wrong?''
''Neal,'' Emma sobbed. ''I broke up with him.''
''What?'' Regina seemed surprised. She knew they were dating, of course – Henry was very happy about that. A little bit too much, Regina thought. He'll be broken.
''Did he do something to you?''
''No. He… He got mad.'' Emma sighed. ''He offered me to move in with him – me and Henry – but I was already ready to end all this shit. I just don't love him anymore, I don't!''
''It's okay. You really should go home now, it's freezing here.''
''Did I do the right thing? I mean, I know Henry was really enthusiastic about this and he'll be so angry with me, but I just can't stay with the man I don't love.''
''Yes, Henry will probably be disappointed,'' Regina said and then took Emma's chin to raise her head up. ''But listen to me, you did what you felt was the best. If you two don't get along anymore, it's better to be separated. The opposite would just make Henry even sadder in the end. And we don't want that.''
The blonde's eyes filled with tears again after hearing Regina's words. She sniffed and smiled sadly at the brunette.
''Thank you, Regina,'' she whispered. ''You do get me, don't you?''
''Looks like I do.'' Regina returned the smile and then got up, pulling Emma to stand up again. She lost the balance and leaned onto Regina, still holding her arm.
''Let's get you home now.''
''No. No, not home, please,'' Emma begged. ''My mum can't see me like this. And Henry, Henry is there. No!''
''What am I gonna do with you then?'' Regina asked, confused, as she was leading Emma to the car.
''I don't know… I'm fucking drunk.''
''I can see that.'' She sighed and shook her head. ''Come on, you can stay at my house tonight. I'll give you the guest bedroom.''
''Really? You'd do that?''
''I will have to.''
''Thank you... Thank you so much!''
''You'll thank me in the morning. If you'll still remember how you got there.'' Regina smiled. ''Now, get into the car.''
Here is the first chapter. Review and encourage me to continue writing! Thanks for reading :)
