A/N: Another one-shot because season 6 is annoying the crap out of me. Steroline feels all around. I was extremely emotional while writing this and it made me cry. You've been warned. Enjoy! If you read, please review.
Lots of love,
Anneryn
I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.
"Stefan! Stop. Okay? I am sorry. I did not know about Ivy. But," I tried desperately to get everything out that I had to say to him, before he left again, before he left me, again.
"But what?" He cut me off. I took a deep breath.
"But what? What I was fooling myself? I was using her as an escape? Yeah, I know what you think, Caroline." He jumped to conclusions. God. He knows exactly what to do to piss me off, even more. Why can't he just let me talk?! Doesn't he know how much this hurts?
"Well, actually, I was gonna say that killing Enzo won't bring her back."
"No, but it'll stop him from reminding me of my brother. I kill him and I can leave this place and I can start over, again." He said it. He finally said it. I knew that he was full of shit, when he said that he wanted to come here to apologize. Who has he turned into?! Stefan wasn't even this bad, when he went off the deep end, when he went Ripper for Klaus. I don't even know who he is anymore. It doesn't just feel like I lost Bonnie. I've lost him, too. I can't handle it. The pain is too much. I didn't know that I could hurt like this.
"So, that's why you left all those messages on my phone promising apologies? That's why you visited Elena? That's why you came to this party, just to kill Enzo and start over?" I asked him disbelief. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe him. Why can't I ever be enough? He hasn't been thinking about anyone else for months. Everyone is too wrapped up in everything else that they're going through and I have no one. My closest friend is Enzo and Stefan's trying to take him away from me, too.
"Yep," he actually had the nerve to tell me that I was right.
"I don't believe you. I know that a part of you misses this place and these people, your friends. I know that being back here reminds you, how much we need you, how much I need you. But if I'm wrong, then go ahead. Just go start over. But, if I'm right, if just a little part of you came to check on Elena, who's had an unbearable four months, or Alaric, who just came back from the dead, or me… If even just a small, little part of you came back to check on me, then stay." I pleaded with him. I looked up at him, terrified that he was just going to walk away and leave again. Waiting for him to say something is pure torture.
How can he not see that I'm a mess without him? How can he not see how much I need him? How can he not know that my heart has been breaking every day that he's been gone and he's ignored me? How can he just through our friendship away like that? How can I not matter as much to him as he does to me?
He started to walk away and I ran after him. I caught him by the arm and I held him there, until he turned to face me. "Please stay, Stefan. Don't leave. Don't leave me… please." I begged as tears broke through my resolve and ran down my face. I can see that he's hurting, too. I can see it in his face.
"I can't Caroline, even for you." He whispered.
"Why? Why can't you? No one is forcing you to leave, Stefan. I need you here." I cried.
"I can't. I can't be around here. I can't be around you."
"Why?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer. He made eye contact with me and I tried my best to slow the tears that only kept coming faster than before.
"I love you, Caroline. I love you and I can't love you, when I can't love myself. I'm lost without Damon and I can't be here for you. I can't be the man that you need me to be. I can't do this. I'm sorry." He pulled his hand out of my grip and leaned into me and pressed his lips to my temple. I sobbed and pushed him away.
"Don't. Don't touch me. You don't… Just… Stay." I pleaded with him, one last time.
"Goodbye, Caroline." He left and I sank to the ground. My body shook with sobs and I noticed Elena watching me. I tried to give her a weak smile, but I know that it didn't work. She ran over and put her arms around me and let me cry. Nothing is okay. Nothing is going to be okay. Everyone's given up and I don't know what to. Everyone I need is gone. I can't do this anymore. I can't.
