Chapter One
Ludwig would never know why he thought offering to watch Lovino's cat while he was on vacation was in any way a good idea. Perhaps it was because, secretly, he wanted Feliciano's brother to cease his baseless terror-assault on him. Or, maybe it was because Feliciano promised the cat was much nicer than his owner.
But mostly it was because there were promises of mind-blowing sex in there, too. He could not forget about that.
Now, Lovino Vargas was in their living room, holding a large cat to his chest. The cat looked vaguely nauseated. Ludwig's heart ached for his carpet already.
"This is Romano," Lovino said, depositing the horrible animal in Feliciano's arms. "And he only eats high quality salmon wet food. None of your nasty fucking wurst, you asshole potato eater. Not if you don't like cat-puke. And none of your pasta, Feliciano. But even you aren't that retarded."
"Ve, but Lovino, Gino loves pasta! And he and Romano-cat could bond over it!"
"You're stupid. You and your stupid potato are stupid."
Ludwig pointedly ignored that, and suppressed the urge to respond with something about hungry cat. He mentally patted himself on the back for not rising to Lovino's taunts. He could not ignore, however, the oversized bag Lovino had thrown at his feet.
"What's in that?" he said, icily polite.
"It's all his shit, what else would it be? His toys, and his fucking catnip, and his goddamn sweaters and booties," Lovino said.
There was an awkward pause. It continued to be awkward. Ludwig and Feliciano watched as Lovino very slowly went red. Feliciano decided to test the waters.
"Um. Your cat wears sweaters?"
Lovino's ascent into ruddy-face territory continued. Ludwig looked at him in interest, hoping that he might explode, or at least do something mildly interesting.
But as is often the case, people do exactly what is expected of them. Lovino was no different.
"Shut the fuck up. I have a plane to catch, cock-sucker. He eats twice a day. I'll call you when I get there. Fuck you."
And then he was gone, leaving Feliciano sad he had not gotten a farewell hug, and Ludwig not particularly surprised.
"He's gotten better, hasn't he, Ludwig?" said Feliciano, after a decent pause. He stroked Romano behind his ears. "He actually said he would call when he got there. And, um, 'fuck you' is practically a term of endearment, you know. Coming from him, I mean."
"Hmm. Why, exactly, couldn't Antonio watch the cat?"
Feliciano stopped stroking Romano's ears. "What?"
"Well, why not?"
"Ve, Ludwig, Antonio is going with him!"
"He's going on vacation with his roommate?"
Feliciano giggled, briefly. "He's had the same male roommate since college? Grandpa and I pretend we don't know, for his sake."
Ludwig did not know how to handle this information, so he ignored it. "Let's get his cat settled in, then."
He did not want to touch the cat. Romano gave him the foulest look he had ever seen from someone who was not Lovino Vargas, so he allowed Feliciano to handle the Catversary, Destroyer of Dogs, Kitty of the Bottomless Pit, the beast that is called Catgon, Tom of this world, and Spawn of Kitty-Satan.
"Ve, hey, Romano, I have to introduce you to Gino. You'll love him! Unless you are like my brother, then you'll hate him," Feliciano crooned at the cat, tickling his stomach. The cat, for his part, hissed at him and sunk his claws into the soft flesh of Feliciano's neck.
Naturally, he shrieked and dropped The Beast, as he shall now be known to Ludwig, who immediately ran across the expensive Arabian floor-rug with claws extended and back arched. Manly tears brimmed in Ludwig's eyes as he watched the whole-sale destruction of his carpet.
"Not…the carpet," he said while Feliciano whimpered.
"He mauled me! Ludwig, he mauled me! Ve, he's evil! He's going to eat Gino!"
Romano's tail flicked as he rounded the corner into the hallway at record speed. Gino, being the relatively unintelligent cat that he was, appeared from the bedroom upon hearing his name.
"Miau," said Gino, coming up to rub against Feliciano's legs.
"No, stay back, Gino! Ludwig…are you okay?"
Ludwig continued to stare at the carpet, nearly catatonic. Kiku had abused the one-sided affections from the Turkish man who dealt in Arabian carpets to get him a good deal. That rug was special.
Feliciano reached over to touch his shoulder. "Ve, Ludwig, are you okay?"
"I hate your brother," he said in a small voice.
"He is kind of a dick, isn't he?" said Feliciano, rubbing Ludwig's shoulder comfortingly. "But the cat! He's in the kitchen!"
Ludwig set his jaw. The emotional loss of the carpet had to be dealt with later. No cat was going to mess with hiskitchen. He followed the scratch marks in the hardwood to find the cat clawing at the newly refinished cherry wood cabinets. He felt something inside him break.
Feliciano waited but a moment to dash after Ludwig to prevent anything drastic from happening.
"Ludwig, no! It's too dangerous!" Feliciano said upon reaching the kitchen, one hand stretched beseechingly toward Ludwig, Gino at his heels.
"This cat has to know he doesn't own the place, Feliciano!"
Ludwig had the cat by the scruff of his neck. The two appeared to be engaged in a sort of stare-down. Feliciano honestly did not know what to think.
"Ve, Ludwig, why are you staring down Lovino's cat?"
"I don't know!" he wailed before turning his attention to Romano. "You, cat, no more of this. If you do this again, there will be punishment. You will not like the punishment. It may involve a lack of catnip. Or spending time with Gino, and God knows how no one wants to do that."
Gino mewed then, pleased to hear his name.
Romano's face contorted into an expression that one might call horror if seen on a human.
"Do we understand each other, cat?"
Romano mewed piteously. Ludwig took that to be an affirmative and placed Romano on the tiled floor. Still, Feliciano had a hard time accepting that Ludwig had just reasoned with a cat.
Romano turned, shamefaced, and barreled out of the kitchen.
Feliciano bundled Gino to his chest and approached Ludwig tentatively. He touched his shoulder and realized he was breathing very heavily.
"Are the cabinets okay?" he said, quietly, to avoid an explosion.
It hit Ludwig all at once.
"Just…refinished…four thousand dollars…loans…"
Sighing, Feliciano let Gino slip from his arms and pulled Ludwig into a hug, pressing his lips close to Ludwig's ear.
"It's only three more weeks," he whispered. "And you will get the best sex you've ever had. That's better than expensive cabinets, isn't it?"
Ludwig swallowed thickly. Three more weeks.
The sex had better be worth it.
