Sweet, sweet Feelings

His heart only felt whole when he was touching her. That was the only time he ever felt like life was worth fighting with. It was stressful, knowing that you had to be everything anyone ever wanted or expect cruel, cutting words and blows from those who weren't pleased. He never wanted this life. He never wanted to move to L.A. Freezing his tail off would be better in Minnosiota, with his mom and sister, than be in here. To be the lead, he had to keep things in order. The stress was too much. She was there, though. She kept him company and let his feelings rain down in one outburst. He charmed her, and they were so in love. She had replenished his wounded soul and made things normal. He felt at home now with his three best friends. This was the dream life.

Then he woke up.

She was gone, never to return. His world came crashing down, his heart was ripped right out of his chest. He laid in mopping, knowing nobody would ever understand the pain. The song had helped him with the act, but in truth, he was still slowly dying inside. He wanted to just curl up and weep the tears that'd never come, feel the meaning for everything he ever wanted fade with each painful breath. He wanted to go home.

So he did just that. Left no note, didn't let on anything to anyone else. He rose from his bed, the pain overpowering him, and silently went down the steps. The blonde went outside and walked down the street, the rain chilling him to the bone. When the lights of the city were covered by thick night, he laid on the soaked wet dirt of the forest. He curled into a ball, hair heading the tears going down his face. It clung to his cheek and forehead as he tried to force out tears. Maybe then his pain would go away. Maybe then he'd be able to move on. But he could never do it.

It was odd and impossible to explain. It was just like he couldn't find the strength to do it. Nobody would hear his sobs, nobody would care. Time would march on. He needed a heart to understand, to connect with agony that was left inside of him. He wanted a love, but not just any love. The love from her.

So he just laid there, eyes closed as he felt illness tap over him with each drop of rain. He coughed weakly and lost consciences. When he woke up, the sky was still gray and as cloudy as his heart. His little runaway hadn't helped anything but make him sick. But he didn't move, his energy was gone and his will to do anything ever again had vanished with the heavy rainfall. His clothes were cold and wet, and he shivered.

Then he saw a figure. He figured it was one of his friends or something. He didn't want to be found. Her memory was everywhere around his 'home' and in his friends. The pain would only bring him something worse if he went back. So he crawled weakly into the hollowed out tree, slumping inside. He didn't have the energy to go anywhere else, and he knew he'd be found. But for a second he could just slid into the wet leaves and dirt to wait for it.

What he expected never came.

"Kendell?" he opened his eyes to see her beautiful brown eyes.

"Am I seeing things?" he blinked.

"I came for a visit," she crawled by him in the tree, "I mean, we had a break. And I had to spend it with you."

Now his heart could beat again. It all slammed into him like a tornando. She seemed to understand when he wailed and screamed and raised all sugar cane of grief and pain. She was doing the same, soon, as well. When they calmed down, they were red faced and held each other.

"It was like I could never cry," she mumbled, "but now we're together."

"Right," he kissed her smooth cheek again. It felt good, so right.

"Who says this break couldn't be for the next…two and half years?" she looked at him and smiled.

"Enough time for us to cry all we need," he closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against her own as he pictured the gold ring that he would get for her.

The girl who he needed to be with forever. The girl he had to be with just as much as she needed to be with him. The girl who he would marry.

Jo Taylor.