Learning How to Dance in the Rain

Peter and the kids had just left for the day, leaving Lois and Brian alone in the house for what would have been the umpteenth time. Every day it was relatively the same. Lois would clean around the house and Brian would attempt to write something for the local newspaper. In truth most of Brian's time was spent arguing with Jesse DuBois, his editor, who was the exact opposite of Brian in every possible way, most notably political leanings and religious affiliation. Unfortunately, Jesse was one of those Christians who interpreted the figurative parts of the Bible as being completely literal, he was also a fan of the Old Testament, which isn't a bad thing to be, but if you take into account the fact that he ignores the other half of the book, which is overtly more positive in terms of outlook, conflict is ultimately inevitable.

On this particular day, after a good two hours of getting absolutely nowhere in terms of his article or the editor, Brian entered the kitchen looking for a stiff drink. Lois meanwhile, was busy washing dishes.

"You know you could help me once in a while" Lois said passive aggressively, immediately causing Brian to sigh guiltily and make his way to the sink.

"I'm sorry Lois" Brian apologized, "I just got a lot on my mind right now. Jesse keeps wanting me to write blatant lies. He wants scandals. I want reality. We're on opposite ends of the universe."

Lois shrugged indifferently, she liked to think that she understood what Brian was dealing with but the simple truth was that it just wasn't the case. As she handed plates for Brian to dry, she thought about what it was he could've been if he had decided to be independent. She wondered, for a second, if they had a chance of making a relationship work, for Peter wasn't exactly the best when it came to fatherhood, but he had it where it counted.

"What are you thinking?" Brian asked curiously, a hint of worry in his voice as he raised his ears, his body matching his voice for a moment.

Lois smiled as if it was nothing, secretly admiring the way that Brian's ears had a mind of their own when it came to expressing emotions. It was one of the many things that she loved about the dog and the one thing that never seemed to change.

"Why do you do that?" Lois answered with a laugh, answering a question with a question and also diverting attention from herself to Brian in an effort to keep comfortable conversation going.

Brian raised his eyebrows curiously, "What are you talking about? I'm a doing something funny? Because if so I'll gladly keep doing it to see that smile."

Lois laughed again, causing Brian to laugh. When the laughter subsided they casually put up the dishes after which Lois went into the living room to start vacuuming. Brian, Lois having gotten him in the spring cleaning mood despite the fact that it was well into fall, followed her to see about dust the shelves and sweeping the stairs.

"What's with you today?" Lois said to Brian, who was sweeping the stairs, after she turned off the vacuum, having finished her work for the time being. "You're never this helpful around here. Why usually you're off by yourself, doing whatever it is that you do-"

Brian laughed, "it's better than doing nothing Lois" he replied, "Besides, it's not fair to you that you should get to clean the whole house by yourself. You need some time to just be Lois, not the housewife."

Lois raised her eyebrows suspiciously, for Brian was obviously getting into more uncomfortable territory.

"Can we please talk about something else?" Lois pleaded, "I really don't think that-"

Brian rolled his eyes for it seemed that whenever he brought up the subject of her relaxing for the sake of herself she always assumed that it involved him in some way. He couldn't help but feel betrayed, to say that he was insulted was a bit of an understatement.

"Then we won't speak" Brian stated firmly, "If you don't let up you're going to hurt yourself Lois. And I'll be damned if you get hurt while I'm here, you're too important to me for that."

"And just how important am I Brian?" Lois pressed, her eyes temporarily becoming cold and icy.

Brian gave a coy smile and made himself comfortable on the stair by lying down on it, for the moment reminding himself that he was but a dog and that Lois, to a certain extent, was his master.

"I'd take a bullet for you" Brian replied, "I can say the same for your entire family."

Lois nodded, "You say that as if you don't belong here" she pointed out, "Is something wrong?"

Brian shook his head in disagreement, the only thing that was wrong was the fact that Lois was working too hard. Brian slowly made his way down the stairs, when he hit the living room he stood up properly and walked towards the front door. Reaching for his keys to his Prius Brian stopped himself, without even so much as thinking he turned around and threw the keys towards Lois and gestured towards the door.

"Get out of here" Brian said in an almost barking, demanding tone, "I don't want to see you until Peter gets home."

Lois rolled her eyes in protest, but before she could anything further Brian stopped her.

"Lois so help me if you don't get your ass out of here I'll force you out" Brian continued, "And that's a promise. I refuse to see you waste your life stuck in this house."

"What about you?" Lois replied in one final act of protest, "Don't you need the car?"

Brian groaned annoyingly, he was secretly hating himself for what he was doing but Lois it seemed had given him no choice.

"I'll manage. I was close to quitting anyway. Jesse's too hotheaded for my liking. " Brian demanded, "It's not like I had anywhere to go anyway. I haven't had a girlfriend in, what seems forever. I don't get out as much as I used to. I'm slowing down Lois, but just because I'm slowing down doesn't mean you shouldn't, you've got your whole life ahead of you still. There's that and-"

Brian stopped himself, as if continuing with his statement would make whatever circumstance it was a certainty.

"And what Brian?" Lois asked

"Just take the car Lois" Brian repeated softly, "Please if nothing else, do it for me."

Lois, who could see no point in arguing with him any further, walked towards the door, keys in hand. When she got to Brian she gave a gentle smile and a kiss on the forehead. Brian only allowed himself to breathe, in his head he was thinking of all the things he wanted to do in this situation, things that his heart absolutely refused for Peter's sake. Lois opened the door and got in the Prius, she backed out of the driveway and drove down the street heading towards the mall, the only place she knew she could go on a whim. As soon as the car was out of sight Brian closed the door and immediately resigned himself to housekeeper.

For the next two and a half hours Brian swept and vacuumed floors, folded laundry, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned all the bedrooms but the master. By the time he was done, not only was the house virtually spotless, but Brian was on the verge of collapse and with a new-found respect for housewives.

"That'll do Brian" Brian said to himself as his knees officially gave out, his body resting on the couch, "That'll do."

Brian immediately felt dizzy, for a moment everything was blurry, as if he were stuck in a grey haze. He waited for it to subside, for when this usually happened it only lasted for a few seconds. The haziness persisted, in fact, now not only did it persist, it got progressively worse. Brian, in response to this, reached for the nearest phone. He was off by an inch of reaching the house phone, which was on the coffee table that Lois recently got to liven up the living room. After hitting the small lamp on the table five times, knocking over a meager stack of magazines and the surface of the table itself, Brian finally got his hands on the phone. He strained for the correct numbers, frantically he called the only number he could think of.

Hartman's secretary, Mrs. Bead, an elderly woman well in her 70's, answered the phone. Her voice was a little gritty, raspy and hard to understand at times, this was mostly due to years of smoking.

"Quahog General" Bead began, "What the hell do you want?"

Brian huffed annoyingly, for he absolutely hated Bead, in fact, he was 95% sure that Hartman only hired her as a favor to his mother but at this point Brian had no options.

"Get me Hartman" Brian said sternly, too scared to bother with manners.

Bead, at hearing Brian's voice, immediately became hostile.

"Oh it's you again!" Bead replied, "This is a hospital not a veterinarian! Hartman doesn't serve your kind here!"

Brian silently growled to himself, for Bead was one of those old people stuck in the 1940's Deep South, a firm believer in Jim Crow Laws that she now transferred to everything, including animals. He didn't see how a woman could be so heartless and cruel, but then he figured with Bead's health as it was, it wouldn't matter for much longer anyway.

"I know ma'am" Brian continued, trying to be as nice as humanly possible, "And normally I wouldn't have called but I panicked. Please, get Hartman on the phone right away, it's an emergency."

"I told you the doctor's busy!" Bead screamed, "Now kindly listen to your betters. Don't bother calling here again!"

Hartman picked up the phone, silencing Bead.

"I'm terribly sorry about that sir" Hartman said apologetically, going solely on what he heard when he entered the room and having no idea as to who he was speaking to, "She's a little unorthodox for my tastes. How can I help you?"

Brian let out a sigh of relief as his eyes continued to flux in various degrees of slight haziness and total darkness.

"It's happening Doc" Brian said slowly and fearfully, "It's finally happening."

Hartman, recognizing Brian's voice, immediately moved for his coat and hat. From Brian's side of the phone, Hartman could be heard talking to one of his subordinates to proceed with any and all surgeries without him, to cancel all other appointments and to call his mother.

"I'll be over faster than you can blink Brian" Hartman answered, "Don't worry. We'll get this sorted out."

Hartman hung up the phone at his desk and made his way to his car. Brian meanwhile, could only fiddle with the house phone in his hands, seeing no point in trying to hang up it properly or risk breaking something.

Ten seconds later, the phone rang again, answering it Brian hoped against hope that it was Lois so that he could explain everything before Hartman arrived. Sadly, it was not Lois, but someone much worse, Jesse DuBois.

"What the hell is this Griffin?" DuBois began, less than pleased, "You told me no more political investigations. No more religious bashing-"

Brian, who had had enough bad news for one day, was not about to take bullshit from a man like DuBois, who despite believing in Christ, was perhaps the worst model possible.

"Why don't you shut the fuck up?" Brian said, increasingly annoyed with DuBois, "It's because of people like you that I'm an atheist."

DuBois laughed pitifully, "Thou shalt not speak the Lord's name in vain Brian" he replied smugly

"Don't quote Scripture to me asshole" Brian continued, "Just because I don't believe in it doesn't mean I don't respect it. You are insufferable. In fact, I kind of hope God is real so that way when do you die, he can laugh in your face and send you downwards to join Hitler and Judas' tea party! Don't call me again, in fact, consider this my resignation you dick!"

Brian hung up the phone and threw it against the wall, he didn't care if it hit anything. It wouldn't have mattered if it did for he wouldn't be able to see it. The sound of a vase breaking and the shattering of a million pieces on the floor could be heard, the dog silently cursed to himself as he realized that all of the cleaning that he had done would have be done all over again and that Lois was going to be the one to have to do it, which was something that he couldn't necessarily live with.

Brian, his eyes going in and out of partial haze and full blindness, stood up and looked futility for the broken vase. When he found it in the corner of the room, just as his eyes went dark for a few seconds, he relied on memory to find the broom on the other side of the room, accidentally bumping into the coffee table and the reclining chair on the way. When his eyesight partially returned, Brian used the opportunity to make his way back towards the vase, by the time he got there his eyes were dark again. Slowly but surely he knew that he was slipping into permanent blindness, for each blackout brought with it some level of pain which only increased the longer the blackouts occurred. Brian knew that eventually the pain would disappear, once his eyes decided to stop fighting and simply give in, but until then, each movement, each new task, was a struggle.

In truth Brian should have called Hartman an hour before he did, for that was when the haziness really began, in the middle of his cleaning binge. He was ironing and folding clothes in the master bedroom when the first wave happened, forcing him to sit down on the bed. It lasted for about five minutes. The second wave was more severe, for it occurred as Brian was walking down the stairs carrying the vacuum, having just finished the three bedrooms. Brian did not bother stopping when he blacked out, instead he continued moving with the vacuum firmly in hand. He did not realize that the cord had come loose from the coil that he had wrapped earlier and so as a consequence, tripped over the cord and fell the rest of the way of the down, the vacuum landing on his back and slightly bruising it.

The only reason that Brian didn't bother calling anyone was out of fear. He did not want to believe that it was happening, everything he had was telling him that it was just a bad day, that he was sick. But Brian wasn't sick, he was as healthy as he could have been. The sad truth, the truth that he now accepted, was that Brian was going blind.

The turning of the tumblers in the front door caused Brian to turn around, for he still had a decent sense of direction. Hartman, who was standing at the door, could only sigh in pity as he saw Brian tremble in fear and confusion.

"I hope you don't mind me dropping in" Hartman said warmly, "But I couldn't help but worry."

Brian nodded in understanding, "Thanks for doing this for me Doc" he replied, "I know that I'm not exactly your usual patient but you're the only doctor I can trust."

Hartman smiled and slowly made his way over to Brian, leading him back to the couch.

"Now I don't do optics" Hartman continued as he sat down, "I told you that. But I have made some inquiries about your condition based on what you've told me and Dr. Mason seems pretty convinced."

Brian said nothing, he wanted to say something but his brain refused his heart to get in the way.

"Is there any chance of saving it?" Brian asked hopefully

Hartman shook his head, "The risk would be too great Brian. At this stage in the game, it would do more harm than good. I'm sorry but there's nothing to do but wait until your eyes stop fighting. Has the pain been any better?"

Brian laughed pitifully, for the question seemed pointless.

"It's only getting worse Hartman" Brian exclaimed, "I can feel them going. The blackouts are getting longer, the haziness is getting blurrier. I haven't seen anything normally since this morning and even then it was stressful."

Lois walked in the living room, back from her shopping trip. She was carrying three bags, one to Kohl's, another to Bed, Bath and Beyond, and one from Pet-Smart, a gift for Brian. It wasn't anything big or fancy, just a simple dog bed, but she hoped that it would be enough to show her appreciation.

The first thing Lois noticed when she walked in was how clean everything was. She didn't have a doubt in her mind as to who had done it, which gave her more justification for the dog bed than necessary. The second thing she noticed was Doctor Hartman, who upon her arrival, stood up as respectfully and straightly as possible.

"What's going on Brian?" Lois asked curiously, a bit of worry entering her voice, "Is something wrong?"

Hartman gestured to the nearest available seat. Lois nodded and took the armchair.

"Mrs. Griffin" Hartman began sternly, "This isn't exactly easy for either of us to say, least of all Brian. But given the circumstances I think it best that you know now."

This brought Lois no comfort and only seemed to make things worse. Hartman continued without interruption.

"Brian is, for all extensive purposes, legally blind."

Lois said nothing and only shook her head in disbelief. Brian, sensing this, only nodded in agreement.

"It's difficult to believe I know" Brian replied, "To be honest with you I don't know what to make of it either. I don't think it's quite settled in my brain that's it actually happening, but it is. I know it is."

Lois pulled out the dog bed and laid it out in the middle of the floor. Brian, hearing the sound of the bed hitting the floor, looked in its general direction. At that moment his vision returned as it was that morning, his eyes in extreme pain as they fought to retain what use they had. Brian laid his eyes on the dog bed and smiled, it was the biggest smile he ever had, and one that he needed to have.

"Is-is-that for me?" Brian said, tearing up at the prospect

Lois nodded, her smile almost as big as his was.

"Yes Brian" Lois answered, "It's for you. I know that we've been saying that we were going to get you a real bed but we just never had the money and-"

Brian cut her off with the slight raising of his hand.

"I could never ask you to do that" Brian declared, "Not for me. This. This is enough. More than enough. You have no idea what it means."

Brian cringed in pain as his eyes went dark once again. He waited a few seconds, hoping that the haziness would return. After a minute had passed, and then two, and then five, and eventually ten Brian knew that it was over.

"Hartman" Brian said softly, "Hartman I think, I think they're done."

Hartman sighed, in a way he wished that things were different, he wished that surgery was possible. But in another way he was glad that Brian had lost his sight for it only meant that he would have to learn to see the world in other ways, for the moment Hartman took solace in that.

Since there was nothing for him to do, Hartman stood up and showed his way out. Just as he reached the door he turned around back to Lois.

"I'll be in touch Mrs. Griffin" Hartman exclaimed, "If he needs anything send him to me I'll look at him."

"What about the shock?" Lois asked curiously, "Surely he can't be taking this as well as he is."

Brian shook his head pitifully, for Lois was talking as if he wasn't even in the room. He wanted to be insulted but he knew that he didn't have the right.

"That's because I'm not" Brian replied, "I'm just….really good at hiding it is all…Don't worry about me. If it's depression you want, you'll have it soon enough."

Lois rolled her eyes, for obliviously Brian was taking her words rather harshly. Hartman laughed subtly at this.

"Just try to carry on the best that you can" Hartman advised, "And please remember above all else. Brian's blind, not dead. He's still very much alive and he needs to continue living in the best way that he can. Nothing will really change expect-"

"Expect the fact that I can't see" Brian butted in, "I'd say that's a major change isn't it? I mean this is the rest of my life that we're talking about here."

Hartman nodded in turn, "And you will live it as normally as anyone else" he concluded, "Now I'm sorry to have to leave so hurriedly but I must be getting back. If you need me I shall be at my office."

Without another word Hartman closed the door, leaving Brian and Lois alone once again.

Silence filled the air, for several minutes all that existed was the sound of lungs filling up with air. Eventually Brian, too tired to continue, stood up and moved towards the dog bed to the best of his ability, curling himself up in as tight a ball as he could manage.

"What about the others Brian?" Lois asked after he was settled, "What about Peter and the kids? Surely they'll want to know."

Brian nodded, "Of course they will" he replied, a little overdramatically as tears ran down his face, "But if anyone's going to tell them it's me. It has to be me Lois."

Lois sighed, it was bad enough that Brian had to deal with being blind, in her mind, it would be cruel for him to face the confusion that Peter, Stewie, Chris and Meg would ultimately bring.

"Are you sure?" Lois began, "Because I can tell them if you want."

Brian shook his head, his resolve as clear and firm as it was when he gave her his car.

"It's my eyes Lois" Brian defended, "It's my life. I should be the one to tell them. I have to. Not just for them, but for me too. The sooner I accept it, the easier it will be for everyone. Now please, leave me alone, I need to grieve my own way."

Lois nodded in understanding and rose from her seat. Looking around the room, she couldn't help but notice the attention to detail that Brian took in cleaning, in a strange way it almost made her jealous, but it wasn't the kind of jealousy to do anything about, especially with the given circumstances. Lois leaned down and gently kissed Brian's forehead, at the same petting his back before entering the kitchen to begin cooking for dinner. By the time she got to the oven however, she was surprised to find that it was already cooked.