A/N: OK so a fellow author asked me a question about something completely un-related and in formulating an answer it made me realized that this piece, which had been done over two years ago, had never been posted here on . It's a very angsty stand-alone and super brief one shot. Song lyrics are indicated in italics and are from Gaeta's Lament by the genius composure behind the Battlestar Galactica music (amongst many other shows): Bear McCreary. This song is not related to any of my other posted stories.
Lament
Alone she sleeps
In the shirt of man,
With my 3 wishes clutched in her hand
"Hel?" There was a lengthy pause after the whispered plea. The only response was the slow beep of the monitors that surrounded the deathly still young woman. Helena was clad merely in the long nightshirt of the hospital which did little to hide the numerous injuries she'd suffered.
"Oh god Hel, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you sweetheart."
Guilt and failure swept over the broken hearted redhead that was desperately clutching an unresponsive hand. Barbara's eyes closed in silent pain, as their life together flashed by in her memories. In her mind, she saw the brunette as she had first met her: a carefree and smiling youth, with just enough playful mischief in her eyes that Barbara had been fascinated with Helena Kyle from the very beginning. She was a child that knew nothing but the unconditional love of a mother who would live and die for her only child. Barbara had found herself slightly envious of the relationship Helena had had with her mother, and despite the fact that her mother had been a former thief, and thus the enemy, she'd been drawn towards that bond.
The first, that she be spared the pain
That comes from a dark and laughing rain
One day Barbara realized that she'd somehow been accepted into that small family, and she felt a sense of belonging with the Kyle's. Like her they were spirited, independent women who could not be swayed from something once they focused their determination upon it. The redhead had come to care for her extended family deeply and wanted nothing more than to see Helena continue to thrive and succeed in her life.
Fate had other plans in store for them however, and their lives were forever shattered. As the crippled redhead struggled to come to grips with her own personal losses she tried to be there the best she could for the teen that had just had her entire world taken from her. She watched helplessly as Helena withdrew from everything and everyone, her anger and pain manifesting itself in the most violent of forms at times.
Somehow, they managed to get through the worst- but not without the scars of the battle they'd waged for their very lives. And Barbara had no doubts that their lives had been hanging by a delicate thread on more than one occasion during those first couple of years.
After that? They simply survived. Helena insisted that Barbara train her when she found out about the Delphi being constructed and for what purpose. She'd finally relented, and they threw themselves into their work. But Barbara still worried.
When she finds love,
May it always stay true.
This I beg for the second wish
I made to you.
Helena went through one partner after another, and while she blamed it on her genes, the older woman knew better. Helena was afraid to love again. She was afraid that she would let someone in again only to have her world shattered once more. And so she kept everyone at a distance. Barbara had tried to encourage her that love was worth the risk, and had even bitten the bullet and tried to teach by example when she accepted Wade's offer to date…
God. Wade.
Verdant eyes watered once more. Wade had been such a sweet and patient man, and she'd cared for him deeply. She knew things wouldn't have lasted between them, but he'd given her hope that perhaps she could have a real relationship with someone down the road should she find the right person . And then one fateful night, Wade found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, and his murder only seemed to prove Helena right. She used that whole incident as an excuse to break things off with Reese and withdraw from everyone once more. She'd even withdrawn from Barbara- and that had hurt more than Wade's death.
In the aftermath of Quinn's invasion, their lives had been shaken to it's very foundation once again. Judgement became impaired, emotions got in the way, exhausted minds and bodies began to slip up, and…..
And too late, Barbara realize that she'd already had someone to share her life with all along. Only now she was lying comatose in a hospital bed, her body as broken as her spirit and heart. All three were in grave danger of never recovering.
But wish no more
My life you can take,
To have her please,
Just one day wake.
To have her please,
just one day wake.
Barbara closed her eyes as the tears fell and silently prayed to whatever entity might be out there, that Helena would be spared death so early. She would sell her soul to the Devil himself if he appeared beside her at that moment. And she knew without a doubt that her life would end the moment Helena Kyle left this realm. Barbara brought their clasped hands up and brushed her lips across the bruised and scraped knuckles, her tears trailing down their twined fingers. "Please," she said in a desperate and choked whisper. "Please wake up."
To have her please,
Just one day wake.
Gaeta's Lament written by: Bear McCreary
Battlestar Galactica Season 4 Soundtrack
