Dean Ambrose wished for a lot of things in his lifetime. Right now, stretched out face-down on crossed arms in a comfortable bed, he was wishing that Drew McIntire's back hurt as much as his did. 'Damn, that belt hurt.' He flinched, expecting to hear a sarcastic voice in his head, then relaxed when his head remained silent.

"Sorry."

The soft voice came from behind him as gentle fingers lightly rubbed cream onto his aching back.

"These welts look bad. Are you sure you don't need a doctor to look at them?"

Dean looked over his shoulder and smiled. "I'm sure. You're doing fine."

Renee Young smiled back at him. "Okay, then. I'll be as quick…and gentle as I can," she promised.

Dean chuckled under his breath and turned his head to rest it on his folded arms. He slowly relaxed as Renee treated the welts on his back.

"You know, I saw that little smile on your face," Renee finally spoke.

"When?" Dean mumbled.

"When Seth and Roman stopped on the stage and looked back at you in the ring."

Dean's eyes widened, then he sighed. "Didn't expect them to come out."

"Really?"

Dean didn't have to look over his shoulder. He knew she was giving him a skeptical look that usually preceded her calling him out on his bullshit. "No, I didn't."

"But you hoped they would."

Yeah, he was pretty sure she had that look on her face. "Maybe." He felt Renee's hands move to treat the welts on his lower back. "Anybody ask you why I didn't come out when Roman made his announcement?"

"Michael's too much of a professional to ask, and Corey's backed off on that." Renee's voice held a note of satisfaction. She saw Dean glance over his shoulder with a curious look on his face and innocently smiled.

"That's my girl," Dean grunted, laying back down. After a few moments of silence, he continued. "I saw Roman and his family backstage and…got scared it was gonna be bad news. I barely was able to walk out there when he made the first announcement. I couldn't do it again if it was bad. Then…" Dean took a deep breath. "Then, when he said he was in remission, I knew I couldn't go out there. I would've broken down completely."

"We all kinda did," Renee softly answered. "Is that why you didn't go out with him and Seth tonight after the show?"

"Not just him and Seth," Dean quietly said as he closed his eyes. "Pretty sure a lot of other people are celebrating with them."

Renee bit her lip at the resignation in her husband's voice. "How does your back feel now?"

"Good. You did a good job."

"I'm gonna wash this off. You need anything before we turn in?" Renee asked.

"Nah, I'm okay." Dean waited until the bathroom door closed then reached for his phone charging on the nightstand. Wincing as he propped himself up on an elbow, he texted Roman.

'Can't begin to say how thrilled I am you're in remission and that you're back.'

He sent the message and started to put the phone back. Then he texted again.

'I couldn't come out with Seth. I lost it when I heard your announcement and had to be alone. Pretty sure there's a party for you right now. Enjoy it. I don't belong being a part of that. Not now.'

He added three heart emojis and sent the message. Then he put his phone on silent mode and put it back on the nightstand.

Seconds later he saw Renee putting her phone next to his and attaching the charger cord. He gently reached out and brought her wrist to his lips. Kissing it, he murmured, "I know things have been…unsettled. I'm trying hard to change that, honey."

Renee sat on the floor next to the bed and smiled at him. "All I care about is that you're healthy and happy."

"I'm healthy," Dean slowly smiled. "I'm working on the happy." He gently squeezed her wrist. "You make me happy."

Renee grinned and leaned forward to give him a gentle kiss.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Roman Reigns sighed as he read the text message from his brother. He felt then saw Seth Rollins at his shoulder.

"Dean texted?"

Roman nodded and put the phone back into his pocket. He had his own theory about why Dean was suddenly picking fights with Drew McIntire. He was pretty sure Dean hadn't told Seth the entire truth when he hinted that McIntire's inability to keep his mouth shut was the reason.

"Not going to be easy," Seth muttered. "A wise man once told me that forgiveness is easy but regaining trust is a bitch." He gave Roman a knowing look.

"Can't imagine who that judgmental asshole could be," Roman snickered.

Seth chuckled, then stared out the window. "Another wise man told me that forgiveness isn't as easy as accepting an apology. To forgive treason means you have to not only forgive the deed but everything that happened after that."

"Who said that?" Roman curiously asked.

"Undertaker."

"Considering the wars he and Kane fought, I guess he should know," Roman admitted. He nudged Seth's shoulder. "C'mon, let's start winding down this party. We can start dealing with our brother tomorrow…or later today…or whatever."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dean lay in the darkness, curled next to a sleeping Renee. His fingers gently played with her hair as he tried to become accustomed to the silence in his head. He knew he had to be in the proper headspace to think clearly…to plan and not just to react.

And to answer the question…what did he want that would make him happy?