So this re-written chapter went over a grand total of 4,000 words. That's the most I've ever written in one chapter. I think I can promise the rest of this books chapters will not be nearly this long, so please bare that in mind as you begin, my normal is 2,000. Please enjoy, and leave a review!
Out here in the quiet pretending is easy. My favorite daydream is being up in the woods behind my house, sitting in my squirrel hut waiting for Dad to get home. It's fall, and the trees above me are nearly bare, and the air is cool and breezy. Leaf piles litter the forest everywhere, having marked my place as I ventured further and further, stopping, gathering, jumping and moving on. I am safe, nothing else is near. This would be perfect, if only it was real.
Branches snap underneath my feet, and crispy pine needles crunch as I walk across the woody carpet. It's not fall now, its midsummer, and the trees are thick with green blocking out the sun. The air feels like oven heat hitting you in a wave, over and over. Another reason to be out here in the woods, away from the camp sitting behind me. The air is thick up there, and it strangles you after awhile. Daryl couldn't even make it a couple days without finally checking out a few days ago for a hunt. He would always let me go with him, and I wanted to go this time too but Dad said no. The next morning Dad woke me with packing, for a run into the dead infested city with others for supplies.
Hypocrites, I got that word from Andrea, a social worker. We used to be afraid of people like her, and Eli still is.
I'm not afraid of her anymore though, she's not as scary as the dead people. She can't take us away if there aren't any foster homes left.
- crack
The woods are full of sounds that never used to bother me. Glancing around, real quiet and froze in place. My fingers wrap around the hilt of my knife, tucked into its sheath nice and safe. A moment passes, another, and my chest aches from holding my breath. I'm on guard all the the time now, watching, listening. I'm getting real tired of it.
I've never really seen one of the dead ones, not up close. I saw them going down the highway, through car windows and sprawled over guard rails. They didn't look dead, they weren't in a hospital bed, lying still and quiet, with there eyes closed as if they were sleeping. Some looked like regular people, it was hard to tell anything was wrong, they looked like Dad when he got home too late. But some where bad, movies and TV kinda bad, with missing arms and blood and yuck all over.
The forest was quiet, nothing but my own heartbeat. I push my fist into my chest and feel my heart go, boom, boom, boom. Alive, alive and breathing I am. Do the dead people's hearts beat? Do their brains work? I've been thinking these things a lot now that everything has settled down.
"-Rose?"
I huff, rolling my eyes, and look around behind me at the ridge, or more specifically the silhouette perched on top of it with their hands on their hips. Even with the sun behind her, and not being able to see her face, I can imagine it all scrunched up and worried.
"Yeah?"
"What happened to staying in my sight?"
When I left she'd been down by the quarry with Carol and Jacquie, and I was in camp with Dale. Dale was a good guy, with a fisherman hat and ugly tourist shirts. I'd felt his eyes follow me down here, and I bet he was watching the whole time, waiting for me to come back safe. He didn't freak out, not Dale, because he's smart. He knows I have my knife, he knows I can take care of myself.
But he's apparently a snitch.
I forget being quiet, soft on my feet how Daryl showed me, and stomp my way up the bank to where she stands. Her hazel eyes go down to my hip where my knife rests, but she says nothing about it. She's already talked to Dad about it, and I can only imagine what he said.
She twists me around and gives me a push to get me walking, her steps quick behind me. Walking is hard when you can feel someone looking at you, but if I stopped I think she'd run me over.
"I wasn't doing anything wrong? I got my knife with me?" Peering back, finding her staring hard ahead of us, her face pinched in thought.
"Did you tell Dale where you were going?"
No I didn't, but he saw me.
"What if you'd fell with that knife, or come up on a dead one."
I could argue and say I would never fall on my knife, but I know people who have, including Dad and Eli both. But that was all funny afterwards. As for the dead people -
"Shane said it was safe up here."
Her jaw clenched so I turn back around, glaring at my boots as they kick up clouds of dust.
"Where's your brother?" Her voice is softer now, I glance up to find the corners of her mouth upturned. She's not too mad.
"'Takin a nap last I saw him."
Glancing toward the row of cars parked at the foot of camp, facing away from the road leading back down to the city. There's a blue Chevy truck parked behind Shane's jeep, and Eli's in there sleeping. Probably curled up in the cab using his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes. He was on watch last night, and the night before. I saw him this morning looking pale, his eyes turning dark around the edges. I don't think he meant to fall asleep, but I wont wake him yet.
Lori mutters under her breath and presses her hand into the square of my shoulders, pushing me up the bank faster. The camp slowly comes to life, a campfire with pots of boiling water over it, sheets swing in the breeze, strung up wherever, layering in between socks and shirts and jeans and even a few pairs of underwear.
She's steering me for the picnic tables set up behind the RV, and the other kids are already gathered around them, hunched over books and papers. Lori remembered me because its time for school, so that's why she come after me. I wish Eli hadn't mentioned I didn't go to school. I'm not sure how Lori took it, I don't think she understood he meant that I learn everything I need from what he and Dad and Daryl teach me. I can read and write, and cook and hunt. I know how to be cheap, and how to splurge like a pro. Dad says you don't need to know a lot to make it.
I like Lori though, so I'm not trying to pick a fight. I sit down across from Carl, and a math sheet is slapped in front of me.
"Don't look at it like that," She says, sitting across from me too to be next to her son. Carl looks up at me smiling. He smiles at everything, which is funny. His dad died when the dead people came, none of us have lost anybody close like that, at least not since it all started. I like that about him, even though he's a year older but seems younger.
Lori taps his paper and his eyes fall back down to it. I grit my teeth and look down at my own paper, glaring down at the mishmash of hand written problems.
"Why do we need to do school when all the colleges are gone?"
"They're not gonna be gone forever," Lori sighs, not looking at me.
I purse my lips, chewing on my cheek and let my eyes roam somewhere else. They land on the cars again, where Eli is most likely still asleep. I said I wouldn't wake him, but..
"I gotta go check on Eli!"
My legs are flung over the bench too fast, and my paper goes flying, swooshing back and forth. I don't see it land anywhere, because I'm already up and and headed toward the cars. Lori grumbles under her breath and I hear Carl say, 'why can't I go too?'
I smile, a tiny smile. I walk through the middle of camp to get to the cars, and I hate doing this. I see familiar faces, but their still strangers. I should know more people by now, it's been two weeks, but I don't. I know Shane our leader, sitting there by the ratio waiting to see if it would squawk. It finally did this morning, a man was headed into the city. He's good as dead now.
Shane is a police officer. He came first with Lori and Carl, when I met him I thought he was Carl's dad, but now I see why that's stupid. They aren't alike at all, between Carl's pale freckled face and bright blue eyes, whereas everything about Shane is dark.
I know Andrea and Amy, sisters, but that's all. Then Dale, the good ole guy with the fisherman hat. Who has an RV that he sits on top of all day watching out for dead people.
And Jacquie. I've only ever heard Lori say her name.
I'll work on that, getting to know more people. I think we'll be here awhile. It'll have to wait for later though, because my boots hit gravel and the truck comes into sight. I can see a tuft of dirty blond hair peeking up out the window. Up on my tiptoes, peering in, I see him crammed up against the doors with his long legs bent against the other.
He could sleep in the bed of the truck, but he doesn't like falling asleep out in the open, he never has. I go around to the other side, where his socked feet are pressed against the window. Wrapping my fingers around the handle, I tug it open quickly, and his legs slack - then he's sitting up and staring at me.
Boom, boom, boom, goes my heart again, staring into his bleary green eyes. They blink once, and then widen, his face hardening.
"W-what the hell'd you do that for?" He swallows, trying to loosen his scratchy voice.
I keep quiet, watching him run a hand through his greasy mop. His eyes are red, making the gold-flecks inside them shift. He looks strange, he looks dead. He sounds dead, his voice raspy and sluggish.
He never used to be this way, but he's changed now, I guess everything has. It's not fair, I can feel how unfair it is in a knot climbing its way up my throat.
"What time is it?" He asks, blinking up at me, his face slack.
"Afternoon, Lori's been hassling me," I tell him, earning a slight smirk.
He nods his head, tossing a funny look towards camp. "You shouldn't let me sleep so late, it ain't her job to be watching you."
"You were tired?" Even as I say this he's moving his neck around, working out the kinks, bobbing his shoulders up and down to get the blood flowing.
"M'sorry," I say rushed underneath my breath. I'm not sorry, because he needed the sleep. If he stayed up any longer the sun alone would probably kill him, I could see him taking a tumble into the dirt and never waking up. Dad told me that happened to a man he knew once, who worked too hard and too long. He grabbed his chest and fell over dead, and that was that.
He groans as he stands, and I take a few steps back to give his too-tall self some room. He's almost as tall as Dad now, and broad shouldered. At sixteen he towered over every other kid in our woods.
He pauses, looking around like he's lost. I bet he feels awkward for being so late, and now he'll have to walk into camp and have everyone's eyes on him. Normally I'm the one feeling like that, before and after we got here. Those extra shifts finally caught up with him.
"You done any chores today?"
"A little bit," I lie.
He scoffs, because he always knows. He sucks in a breath, letting it go heavily and blinking again against the sunlight. Tapping me on the shoulder, he heads back from where I'd just escaped from, gravel crunching under his feet.
"What about shoes?" He shrugs his shoulders and keeps walking. I follow.
He and I clamber up the trail together, to find nobody's really paying attention to us at all. They're all staring at Dale, who standing on top of the RV like always, with his binoculars raised. He's twisting, twisting around from the ridge, to where me and Eli just came from.
It's quiet, nobody says anything, we just listen. A beat passes, before finally I can hear it; a warped and distant wail.
"Eli?"
"Shh."
Shane moves forward though the cluster of people gathered around the RV, they hear it too now, all of them with their eyes set in different directions. Its echoing, bouncing around. Getting louder.
"Talk to me Dale!" Shane yells, he has to yell now because its getting closer.
"Is it them? Are they back?" Amy, Amy's waiting for Andrea, who's with my Dad. My Dad is back?
Biting down on my lip, I stand up on my tiptoes. Why does everyone have to crowd together? Or be so freaking tall. It makes no difference. My body's buzzing so I have to do something. Eli's hand grabs my shoulder, heavy, like he's steadying himself as he turns us to follow the others headed for the row of cars we'd just left. Dale says something about a stolen car but I'm not listening to him anymore.
The edge of the drive seems pretty far away now, nothing but a line where it dips off down into an actual hidden paved road. The wailing grows, almost like its getting faster the longer its out of sight. Its like a pulse, like a heart, my heart. My hearts beating so fast now.
A shiny red blur bleeds over the line, and it morphs itself into the fastest looking car I've ever seen! It slows though as it gets closer.
Eli grabs my hand, squeezing it hard and drags me along behind. His lips are pressed together real hard and the knot in his throat moves as he swallows. He looks worried, maybe I should be worried. Its a strange car, with just one person inside.
Speaking of, a tanned arm darts out the window, another, and they're climbing out with both of them held high. Glenn. I know Glenn, who used to deliver pizzas, and tried to be friends with Eli.
He's smiling, a huge grin stretched across his face, his dark eyes darting back and forth between our group and the shiny red car. He looks so proud. I almost wanna smile too, but.. Glenn's all alone? Surely Dad and the others are right behind him. They gotta be, or else Glenn wouldn't be so excited right now.
Everyone around me and Eli are shouting, asking the same questions swirling around in my head. Shane, Shane's ticked. He curses over the alarm, his voice nearly drowned out in the commotion. So much noise, so many voices, ringing fills my ears.
My head starts to hurt, I cup my free hand over one ear, and bury the other into Eli's arm. It doesn't help. Its just distorts the sounds all running together. Everybody's mouth is moving but I can't pick out one voice from another. I can still hear the car alarm, not as loud as before but still- finally its stops.
I unseal my ears and Glenn's talking, the smile wiped from his face and turned very worried all the sudden. "- they're all okay!? Well.. Merle not so much."
"What? Where's dad?"
Eli squeezes my hand again, I look up and his eyes are awake and hard.
Nobody heard me, because Shane's talking, "What were you thinking? Driving this squealing bastard up here like that!"
Noises, they bring the dead people. I forgot about it, we'd been up here too long, I forgot what little bits we'd learned about them.
"I think we're alright," Dale still with his binoculars, squinting his eyes and letting them trace over the trees. "The alarm was echoing all over these hill's, hard to pinpoint the source?"
Dale's being smart again, but Shane's face is still stormy.
"Probably just ran 'em in circles?" I frown, jerking my head up in shock to hear Eli's voice. He never talks, at least not to anyone in camp, he's too much like Daryl says Dad. Everybody else stares too, even Shane, with an eyebrow raised.
Eli squeezes my hand again and swallows nervously.
"Sorry?" Glenn drags the attention back to himself, looking sheepish as he takes in all the eyes. "But I got a cool car?"
Yes, he did. But when is Dad coming. Is he hurt? What does not so much mean?
When Dad left I wasn't worried, he'd be back, he always was. He went to lots of dangerous places all the time before, he'd been hurt before, he'd gone away for a long time before. So now would be no different. But Eli, Eli looks awful worried. I don't know what to think, he always looks worried. Sometimes for no good reason.
An engine hums, its unmistakable. Slower than Glenn's car, I listen as it climbs the drive. My vision swims as it appears over the line, a huge square top looming all the way up the tree tips. Big enough to fit the run team plus the entire group- or at least the ones I know.
I bounce on my heels, spotting a dark man in the cab seat, with a stranger silhouetted beside him. Dad and the others must be in the back, I suck in a breath and wait, watching the dark man clamber out. I've seen him around before, Dad picked on him like he did a lot of people.
Maybe he's hurt bad, maybe he fell on his knife. Maybe he took too much of his medicine again and fell asleep and they couldn't wake him up. Maybe, maybe a lot of things. Maybe he's bit.
"Let's go, Eli! come on. I tug on his arm, but he shakes his head and doesn't move. "Let's see what happened. He might need our help!"
He swallows again, "Somethings wrong Rosie."
I stop pulling on his arm. His eyes look funny when I glance up at him. He always thinks somethings wrong. He's a worrywart, that's what Dad says.
"Glenn where's my Dad!" I say, catching Glenn eyes. He doesn't say anything, but his face is strange. Scared, almost.
"Hey Helicopter boy!" I heard the dark man call out with a smile, holding his kids and his wife. Morales, he's the father of the girl who sits with Sophia and Carl, Eliza.
"Eli let's go!"
Andrea, Jacquie, a man called T-Dog who's name I don't think I could ever forgot, they're all out hugging everyone, smiling. Did they leave Dad there, in the back of the van? They don't like him, I know, but surely they wouldn't just leave him in the back if he was hurt?
"Dad!" Carl pushes past me almost knocking me over, headed for a stranger in a police uniform. They collide, and I grit my teeth hard, grounding down on my tongue. The stranger is crying, swinging Carl up in his arms, his face is turning red and blotchy but he doesn't seem to care. Rick, Rick is his name. I know it and I've never even met him. Carl told me the first day I came here, about his Dad, how it wasn't Shane. Carl never shut up, he'd tell you anything. He told me his Dad was dead.
Is mine dead?
I jerk my hand out of Eli's grasp, and dodge when he tries to grab me back. He's too slow, I feel his fingers brush my back, but other than that its just gravel digging into the thin treads of my boots. The world blurs, and something warm floods my mouth, tastes like a penny.
The back of the van is open, the inside dark. The top is lined with hungry metal teeth that keep it closed going down highways. It looks like a mouth, and I'm climbing into a monster.
It's empty, and so hot. Like an oven. But worse.
"Dad!"
The scream rips through me before I can stop it, like a knife slicing up my throat. Shaking, my whole body's shaking, buzzing with my head, and my throat hurts so bad. My voice bounces off the shiny metal walls, smacking me in the face each time. My face burns, I reach up to touch and my fingers come away wet. Then something salty drips into my mouth before I can wipe it away.
Heavy arms wrap around me catching me as I fall, but not Eli's, he's carried me enough so I'd know. It's not Daryl's because he's gone. Not my Dad's because Dad's dead. He's not here so he has to be dead. Not here, not here, in the city somewhere. If he's in the city then he's not dead, not really, he'll walk. Walking is all they do, walking and killing. I finally lost someone to the dead people, not Carl though, his Dad's alive. It's me now. It's me and I'm not smiling at anything.
Though tears I see blurry faces, their heads jumping back and forth between me, me and Rick. Somebody came back from the dead, and then somebody died. The arms wrapped around me hurt, they squeeze too tight and my legs are dangling, I want down. I'm not supposed to kick people, but I'm about to explode, I can feel it. The knot in my throat tightens, I imagine it clogging up the pipe where the airs supposed to be. I'm suffocating! I'm gonna die now too!
Slipping, I'm slipping, I'm hitched back up. I kick and struggle and beat them as hard as I can. I can't hear anything, my ears are ringing again, but there's no alarm. Just my own heart trying to break out of my chest. It needs air too.
Something shifts and the arms that held me and hurt my shoulders are gone. I smell the Chevy tuck seats and sweat, all mixed together with creek water. Eli, I hug him and I bury my face into his neck as his hair tickles my face. His body isn't shaking, not like mine, but his hearts beating too fast. He holds me tight.
Eyes, I feel their eyes on me. If I was walking myself I'd be in the dirt. They won't care about my Dad, nobody does. Nobody in this camp cares about him or me, or Daryl or Eli. We don't matter.
"I wanna go home."
I wanna be in the woods behind my house, playing in the leaves, headed to my squirrel hut.
Waiting for Dad to get home.
I said this before, but it's really important for me to better my writing, so if you can leave a bit of constructive criticism that would be very much appreciated.
