I Don't Love You

41. Regret

She knew that it wasn't right - right for her. She felt as if she was betraying the man she loved, the one who stole her heart many years before.

"Princess Nina, it is time," one of her handmaids said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You make such a wonderful bride, my lady."

Nina nodded, her expression in a state of unease as she stood in front of the mirror. She knew this day would come eventually - there was no denying it, no putting it off.

It is for the sake of Akaneia, Your Highness, her most trusted advisor had said. Prince Hardin will make a lovely husband and an even better ruler. You should feel honoured.

She smiled at her reflection, a façade - she didn't want to look the way she felt.

"Let's go, then," Nina said, turning away from the mirror. She couldn't bare to look at herself anymore. A second lady-in-waiting opened the door to her chambers, and two more carried the train of the dress.

"For the sake of Akaneia," she murmured, picking up her skirts, and walked out the door to what she thought was her doom.

-x-

Nina was glad the ceremony and reception were over - she was filled with dread throughout the whole celebration. So many well-wishers and, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't share their optimism. No one picked up that anything was wrong, of course, although the Prince of Altea kept shooting her looks of concern. Perhaps he could see through her façade, could sense how unhappy she was? No matter - even if she had chosen him as her husband, she would still feel the same way, and she would have to have ripped apart a perfectly happy couple to do such a thing. Why couldn't she be like Princess Sheeda and look at Hardin the same way Sheeda gazed upon Lord Marth?

Nina would have slumped against the mahogany door, but her bedchambers were no longer considered 'private' now that she had Hardin.

"My dearest Nina," Hardin said, cheerfulness laced throughout his voice. "Together at last."

She could not possibly share his happiness, though she tried her best to look the part of a happily wedded royal. Hopefully he wouldn't notice anything wrong.

"You were awfully quiet at the reception," Hardin remarked, shifting on the chair in the sitting room. "Is everything all right?"

She crossed the room to where he was and sat on the arm of the chair.

"I am just tired, Hardin," she answered. "The wedding took a lot out of me."

Hardin nodded, understanding. "So much celebrating is cause for exhaustion, I suppose." Was that suspicion in his voice? Perhaps she was worrying too much - Hardin loved her, truly, deeply.

She wrung her hands, her gaze on them.

I have to make sure he knows where I stand.

"Hardin, I must be frank with you," she began. "I...I'm not quite sure how to really say this."

Hardin gazed at his wife in a concerned way. "You're not with child, are you?" His voice was overcome with jealousy then, and she noticed it right away.

"It's with the Prince of Altea, isn't it?" He sounded more angry now, his hands balled into fists on the arm rests. "Nina, I knew you gave him the Fire Emblem, but you didn't have to give him yourself, either!"

She slid off the arm rest then, her eyes narrowing as she spun around to face him.

"How dare you make such accusations, Hardin!" she shouted, flashing him an angry glare. "You know that I do not love Prince Marth. He is just a dear friend of mine - nothing more!"

Just like you are to me, Nina mentally added. I don't love you, either.

Hardin's sudden flash of anger subsided and on his face was a look of guilt.

"I'm sorry, Nina..."

"I must say what is on my mind now before I lose the courage to do so," she said, ignoring his apology. "I want to make one thing clear to you, Hardin: I did this for Akaneia. Nothing more, nothing less." Her voice was firm, assertive.

His eyes widened and he stood from his seat in shock. "...Pardon?"

"I don't love you, Hardin," she clarified. "The only reason I married you was because I wish for my kingdom to be rebuilt. I am aware of your feelings...however, I cannot return them. You are my king and nothing more."

She could tell that Hardin was hurt by the way his face fell.

"Then why did you not marry the Altean prince?"

"Because I don't love him, either, and he is very much in love with Princess Sheeda," she replied. "I am not in the business of ruining couples just because I want my country rebuilt. You were my only option."

Neither side said anything for awhile - they just stood there facing each other.

"...Then who is it you love?" Hardin asked, breaking the awkward silence.

Nina replied, with little hesitation, "My heart lies with Camus."

I'm sorry, Camus, but I had no choice but to marry another.